had a long week.

nevertheless, i am really thankful to Him for really being beside me all the time.

many times He stood by me, but i took Him for granted and ranted in my heart how tiring and draining the working life can be. i was not looking forward to working. no no no.

the "real" world. often, people portray a bleak and self-centred image of the world.

its the survivor instinct. the "you-just-need-to-do-what-you-are-supposed-to-do-and-get-off-immediately". no more than that.

just like examinations, we often agree that practicals are rather scary, and theory allows u to be more prepared with what's going to come.

similarly, even though we often have the head knowledge to be in the world and not of the world, to apply in practical? we really need Him to guide us and hold us closely.

so moral of story? : walk close. with HIM. anytime, anywhere.

anyway, presented my case today. had a frantic journey to the hosp this morn due to rain and the unbelievably longggg taxi stand queue. hadnt had time to do script, hadnt had the time to rehearse, and hadnt had the time to even give some animation to my slides.

and was mentally rehearsing in my head how to answer some really possible questions fr the therapists. anyway, every fridays they had some in-service presentations to enhance learning atmosphere within the hospital.

was expecting the medical team to take their leave upon finishing their presentation at 8am today. facing the squad of at least 10 therapists was mental-gruelling enough.

and to my horror of horrors, the medical team stayed put. and today was horrendously lots of ppl. i just felt that my butt then weighed a million tons on the chair.

unwillingly i went up. somehow i was hoping for the laptop to not work. somehow, i was hoping it cant sense my thumbdrive. somehow, i was hoping for everything except for it to work especially.

nv felt similar performance anxiety for a v long time. was mentally stressful to have a view of a roomful of people whose experience adds up to hundreds of years tog.

it sounds ridiculus, but my knees felt weak. throat extremely dry.

i just had to pray. some tranquilisers. prayed for wisdom and coherence in my delivery of case.

took a deeeep breath...and started.

and am glad it went ok! praise Him! i felt an immediate sense of peace and perhaps, increase of conviction of my case as I presented.

and i went on and on and on for 15min, where is the time we offer ourselves to stand in the "firing squad", that is, questions fr floor of case presented.

and glad i pulled thru the experience! i think i learnt a lot from the time of presenting alone. i wouldnt have such courage without knowing He's with me. i felt like an ant telling elephants how to walk a long distance in one stride. you get what i mean?

but nevertheless, its not too bad being an ant. so as long u r a diligent ant. you will get there eventually. and if you are willing to ask, the elephants will give u a ride. :)

hahas. some mini personal reflections. dont worry if you dont get what i am trying to share from my heart. i think i am rambling already.

yay wendy! *pats on our backs* case presentation down! finally!

nights world. i am starting to appreciate the beauty of this clinical attachment. clinical's a terrifying thing, but its opening up my life to lives beyond my own, and i really feel a lot for this profession. i am starting to like geriatrics. its growing bit by bit within me. although sometimes i think i feel embarrased for myself hearing my own broken hokkien.
occupational therapy- towards meaningful living.

taggged by ah ruuui. to do the survey. :)

Instructions: Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head.

1. sis
2. carrie
3. hannah
4. deborah
5. yuhann
6. jeannn
7. shera
8. ziwei
9. regggie
10. ah rui
11. ceyu
12. mingg
13. huimei
14. liyan
15. my pa
16. my ma.
17. shuyi
18. shareeen
19. xuan
20. enghow

Questions:1. How did you meet number 14?
liyannnn! how how how. hahahs. first met her at the touch community theatre for the church student conference. :)

2. What would you do if you had never met Number 1?
prolly i ll have a more peaceful lifeeee. HA. i am just joking alrights. i love her. in good times in bad times. in sickness and in health (coughs violently)

3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
ah how and ah gieee?!? I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE! hahahhas! will be interested to see how it goes! both God-lovers! hahahas.

4. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
eh. flat no? shuyi and jean?

5. Describe No. 3.
you guys know her isnt it. fun-loving and bubbly sheeepie. she can turn black skies to bluee. :) adore kids and kids adore her.

6. Do you think No.8 is attractive?
look at her! tt's like duhh. hahahhas. great looks great personality, most imptly, great bud. :)

7. Tell me something about No.7
wheeeeee. my dear. jc friend cum bud in church. the girl who brought me to know Him.

8. Do you know anything about no.12's family?
she has a loving husbanddd, and a lovely son timmy!

9. What is no. 18's favorite? God! :) ahhahas. she loves outdoors adventure.

10.What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you? ceyu, pls answer this qn.

11. What language does 15 speak? chinese. teochew. hokkien. malay.

12. Who is 9 going out with? (evil laughter..)

13. How old is 16 now? forever 18... she hopes. 52. :)

14. When was the last time u talked to 13? last weeek.

15. Who's 2's favorite singer? it used to be vic fr f4 if i m not wrong. but she has broken the idolatry already. ahahha!!

16. Would you date number 4? eeeeeeewwwwwww. DEB!

17. Would you date 7? she's my fren. we often date. :)

18. Is 15 single? my pa. what do u think?? :)

19. What's 10's last name? lee foundation like she always say and quote.

20. Would you ever consider being in a relationship with 19? my jie-mei already.

21. What school does 3 go to? missy to be. in nyp. :)

22. Where does 6 live? houganggggg.

23. What's your favorite thing about number 5? a girl with a big heart for others. OTHERS ABOVE SELF.

Dedicated to mx

Dedicated to a goot fren, gr8 sis n lovely pherd>>
Yoooooo MX shepherd. Thx for evrythn today!!!!!! been a long long time since i enjoyed myself so so much. Really. utanLOVESyou :)) -jEan

jean the monkey is watching world cup now at my living room.

and eating honey stars.

and eating honey stars.

and eating honey stars...

and eating more honey stars.....

just a short one.

the past 4 days at clinicals. hmm. i dont know what will be a suitable word to describe it.

but in general, somehow i think it did in one way or another, help me to look forward to finding out more abt working in hospital.

i must admit it is the first clinical placement that keeps me on my toes the entire day.

but certainly i think it will, and i am really certain i can learn loads fr this placement from many people.

like fr my sup. i personally find her an interesting figure. she obviously work hard (verrryyy hard) and plays hard as well. i admire her flexibility, and great sense of responsibility. but of cos, discussing plans with her each day makes my heart beats irregularly. don't try to smoke her. u r asking for it.

another person..

i love dr jung! she's really dynamic. solid woman, yet amicable. she v cute when she smiles. :) her ability to present the infor very relevantly to diff healthcare team members during the round-table session on amputee rehab was something we can learn from.

and i must also say the nurses in the ward are very nice as well. v easy to talk to and to find out about the patient's updates.

hmmm. prayin hard that i will grow to embrace this clinicals. :)

Love Me
By Collin Raye

I read a note my Grandma wrote
Back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat
And he showed it once to me

He said
Boy you might not understand, but a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none
But I loved your Grandma so

We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter
And this is what it said:

Chorus:
If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

I read those words just hours before
my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church
Where me and Grandpa stopped to pray

I know I've never seen him cry
In all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

Chorus:
If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

this song never fails to touch me whenever it comes to my ears. i rem the first time i heard it, it brought some water to my eyes. sometimes i try to picture the grandpa singing it. it really touches me. its like a really sincere song. of the true love they have for each other. :)

and it often brings me to think about God's unfailing love for me, and everyone. i can never seem to understand the extent to which He loves me. and many times, i pray for Him to teach me how to love others through His eyes.

and its true, the love and burden for others deepens when i continually rem them in my prayers. love till it hurts. that's love.

John 3:16. that's love.

its a very stressful thought to think that clinicals will be here in less than 30 hrs time.

its gruelling. i am really nervous about this time round.

my first time posted to hospital. neuro dept. acute cases.

i really don't think i am cut out to work so fast-paced. i am a pretty s--l--o--w paced person.

but whatever it is, face it, prepare my heart, take a deep breath. go for it. am praying for a great learning experience.

time to refresh the stroke stuff, mobility..and what dr param has taught us all. apparently i totally threw them out of my brain long time ago.

scary la! i really scared of clinicals when the sup start to ask ur rationale of ur treatment plan, the patient's progress and all the short term long term goals and everything...

talking about that, i haven done my learning contract! grrr.

i knoe i am waging a war soon. fighting with time, battling with physical tiredness, handling stressors.

and i know, i can proclaim bring it on, when i dwell in Him and walk close enough to Him to experience strength and empowerment for each day.

i will survive. for the next 6 weeks. i know i can do all things thru Him who strengthens me.

friendships

specially dedicated to my growing up buds: the "growing up" in this spiritual family was, is, and will always be memorable. :)

we are still "growing up"!

xuan's choir concert today.

i love the song v much. "Go the distance" by alan menken. i don't know why, not as thou its the first time hearing. but i was very touched by the song. v moved.

and today made me recall, how blessed i am to have all of you as my spiritual brothers and sisters. and those who are not in the pic.

really treasure yawl. really. :)

the poem's not so clear when enlarged. heres it. :)

Cherished Friends

Author Unknown
God must have know there would be times we'd need a word of cheer,

Someone to praise a triumph or brush away a tear.

He must have known we'd need to share the joy of "little things"

In order to appreciate the happiness life brings.

I think He knew our troubled hearts would sometimes throb with pain,

At trials and misfortunes, or goals we can't attain.

He knew we'd need the comfort of an understanding heart

To give us strength and courage to make a fresh, new start.

He knew we'd need companionship, unselfish....lasting....true,

And so God answered the heart's great need with

Cherished Friends....like you.




"9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

essentialbrew

shuyi blessed me recently with a tiny gift. :)

a gift voucher at essentialbrew. v sweet of herrrr! ;)

so decided to go w deb to spend time toggg.

the upstairs like so cosy. even the washrooms were homely. hahas.

i love the place. :)

ok la ok la. i love deb too. hahahas!

she prolly will drop dead seeing this. hahas! she cant stand mushy stuff.

we shared about what drives us.

and just then, i received an sms. from a friend who has not msged me for quite some time.

and there i thought, it really concluded our sharing. the sms goes:

"the quality of your life depends on how you love the things you do, how you do the things you love and how you love the ones who love you."

God demonstrated His love for us, by sending Jesus to the cross.

how do you demonstrate your love? how do you go about doing things that you love? :)

16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.- John 3:16

steam egggg

mum called at least FIVE times today to make sure my first attempt at steam egggg is finee.

and FIVE times, the contents were roughly the same.

at least i only entertained the last 2. sis got the first three for me. hahahas!

cos ma will be helping my gran to make rice dumplings at gran's stall at night, she offered me an opportunity to attempt making a dinner dish while we heat up the rest that she have made earlier for pa.

u know why she called FIVE times?

cos, during the hols, she gave me an opportunity to cook rice.

i cooked. but it remained quite uncooked.

i ATE it still. i mean, i have to show support to my own work right?

sis spat it. so encouraging.

so next day, cai ma ma offered me another chance. this time round, she reminded me to put in more water.

so, i tried, this time round with really a little bit more water.

and sadly, i failed them again. it's still so RAWWWWWWW! ROARS!

i really put in a bit MORE water. WHAT HAPPENED..

and my sis said, you really put in a BIT more water.

yeah, actually, tt's true, i agree.

ok. i shall go make my steam eggs now. hurhur.

brek at newton

back. from the brek at newton w hannah.

i m so ulu. i didnt know that newton food centre had already started its renovation! hahas.

was walking out of house this morn at 6. its been really loooooooooonnnnnnnggggg since i last smelt early morning dew.

and hear the birds (or rather, crows?).

see the first train in action.

sec school days flash back! ;) oh what a beautifulllll morninggggg!

what a pity! often by the moment i open my eyes, the world is already in a hurry. buses, cars all flying past by me, ppl running for work, construction sites have already started their daily job, stores all opened already.

i think its really nice to wake up and experience mornings. u see a whole set of different things tog. usually age range on the higher end. hahas. what has happened to the younger generation!!

time to learn from them morning pleasures and enjoyment. this is the day that the Lord has made. enjoy it!

fell into the traps of life. open eyes, routine wash ups, breks-- all to prepare for work.

today was different! open eyes (and really took some time to open em up..), wash ups, slow stroll to train station, breks and just spend a great morn with nah eating kaya toast and half-boil egggs. (hmm..more like raw egggs. hahahahs). maiden experience was 8am at ya kun. first customers. hahas. not bad. nows 6.30..

and i think i cant go any earlier than tt. hahas. ultimate already.

slurrrps slurrrps. God has made us to enjoy life, and not endure it. Stop, wait, look. don't rush thru'. enjoy it. :)

morning pleasuresss. ;)

mhi

desperate housewives on a 5-hr marathon. so u can imagine..its popularity.

not really concentrating on the show tho', but watching here and there, as u know, my usual habit of turning on the tv while doing other stuff. i work with a lil noise.

i must admit, desperate housewives's pretty addictive. hahas.

today's friday. back to MHI for tuition as usual. but was really late after rushing down from SAOTSC's AGM. reached at 9 odd. managed to be just in time for their half-yearly birthday celebrations for the kids and tutors. :)

i always look forward to meeting these kids and all. and tt's why i m still with em after 2yrs. i love their simplicity in life. and how they really treasure ppl around 'em.

so, to the 3 boys, juncong, arthur n ernest. thank u :)

and despite my the-cannot-really-make-it-but-roughly-they-understand-sign-lang, i'm glad we managed to walked thru the past 2 yrs!

and now the boys have grown up! and i m always thankful for how God has blessed the 3 of em tremendously to go to mainstream this yr! :)

in this community, i've had an opportunity to praise and worship Jesus without voice, but with Hands. in this community, i've witness how to speak to him, not with voice, but using our hearts. in this community, i've learnt how to listen to His soft and gentle voice, not with ears (and definitely not), but with our souls and inner beings.

and in this community, i ve seen how God's faithful hand was upon many of the children, how the good Lord poured in tremendous blessings into their lives. :)

and it was also in this community, that i got to realise my cousin was serving actively in a church! and that he is serving as an sign-language interpretor in church, for praise and worship! i was really blessed when i learnt about that you know!

and it was also through this opportunity to teach the kids, that i got to communicate with my uncle much more effectively. i enjoyed "chatting" with him, and i know he enjoyed me visiting him nowadays too! ahahhahahs! he will be so eager in imparting his sign language to me.

this is something that i am, and will always, really be thankful about.

that people like my uncle, juncong and some of them, gets to "hear" the gospel.

they, likewise need God. and honestly, how beautiful are the feet of those who brought them the Good News! who shared with them beyond their disabilities.

and it's always so so encouraging to see them praising the Lord on how good He is to them. they love to seek God's face, and often, count their blessings. :)

heart's been heavy for the past 2 days. i really need to overcome some areas in my life.
and i really need Him with me.

some news were disappointing. disappointed in myself, disappointed with friends. disappointment.

but nevertheless, He is always grab my heart tight and wring it really hard in these kind of times. To make me be more aware of His presence and His abilities to change my heart. to squeeze out the stale blood and pump in new one.

alrightys. should rest now. hannah's going HopeKIDs Camp at JB tmr! meeting her for brek at 6.30am..

as usual, its madness. but i enjoy doing such things to her! hahahhahahahs! anw she's got to report at 7.45am anws. :) and well, often, i always end off by sending her a msg- "pls give me morn call!" hahahhahahas! i m not a morning person!

let's pray for a great camp for the Kids at JB! ;)

Team Hippiee won the amazing raceeeeee!!! YAYYYYY!

alright. actually is not new news. sis told me that ytd. but watching it myself was like pow-wow. yeah. i love this team! i was so touched that i teared when they touched down at the pit-stop. hahas. yeah. i m so touched by the integrity that they held, their gentleness amidst energy, kindness amidst racing, sacrificial hearts despite not having much, and the friendship that they share THROUGHOUT this race. how beautiful is that!

"When Phil presented BJ and Tyler with their checks, he said they "really embraced this race. They enjoyed every single moment they were on this race, whether they were in first or in last. They kept their spirit all the way to the end. ...."http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/05/18/earlyshow/series/amazingrace/main1628216.shtml

Yeah. that's the word. they embraced this race. winning was a bonus, the ultimate aim was to experience, and finally finish the race.

it was the most beautiful amazing race that i have ever caught thus far. it really demonstrated that to win, pure shrewdness and dirty tricks cant last.

integrity and sincerity towards people do. and that's what i see in bj and tyler.

absolute sincerity in approaching EVERY single one that they meet in every country. they did not narrow their aim to just finishing the race and grab tt 1 mill.

they were much more interested in giving energy to the person that manage to cross paths with em. :)

"Co-winner BJ noted, "I think that on this Race being cerebral doesn't help as much as being in the moment. It's just great to stay positive and really enjoy each other's company. Our friendship is what got us through it." Tyler added, "BJ and I approached each country with wide eyes and enthusiasm and a huge spirit of adventure. There's so much in this world. We might as well take advantage of as much as we can and give back as much as we can and that's important. That's how it all works." "
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/amazing_race9/shows/ep13/race/story/?id=6

i always hoped that i was in the race as well, to see how it has become their second skin to just make another person's day. wow.

finally. the certs are done.

so confused now. full of words in my brain and in front of my eyes now..

zipped.

sent.

cross fingers. *cross cross cross*

no amendments plsss! hahahahhahs. i cannot make it le.

i am really seeing stars now. really.

staring at the screen for the past few hours is no joke. and i really think i am getting carpal tunnel syndrom soon.

wahhhhhhh. concussed!

and is to be out of hse in 4 hrs time. great.

was still planning to jot down how wonderful the night was.

obviously i m going to faint if i dont sleep now. haaa..

sleep sleep sleep.

gd nights world.

can't sleep.

thinking thru some stuff. and somehow i felt a little stuck.

prompted to pray in the spirit. Lord, u still know my heart the best.

and yeah, haha, i cant help but shake my head as i look at the table now. tsk. at nights like this nowadays, like now..i realise it's natural to have these stuff laying around the coffee table in the living room in a few secs..hahas:

tv (reflected) on for sound. milk in hope that i ll sleep. nutella on biscuits to fill my hunger. books and mags, in hope that words can induce me to sleep. and going online to check mails. obsessive-compulsive disorder nowadays.






or, i ll just sit by the window and stare out. the empty roads. the mobil bustling with voices. the view gives me some "stillness", some time alone to think and pray. therapeutic. though not a beautiful scene, but i like the empty roads feel. v still. and the long straight stretch feel.
















and hahas. jus thought of something. compare the above with the following tt i took some time ago..

notice a diff in something?

hahas. this totally reminds me of the "spot the diff" game. hmmm...








DVC's out today.

and i really agree with what alan tea shared on mon. it's presenting itself as a soft opposition, a little challenge posed to our faith.

however, i like the way he put it, with the verse in Ecclesiastes 1:9, "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.". So DVC shouldnt catch us by surprise.

instead, we should make the most of every opportunity(Eph 5:16)..to share the facts amidst the lies.

the seminar on monday was mind-opening. it really helped me to think deeper and to see DVC beyond a movie itself. it's a legendary production..and it's so powerful that its going to be etched in ppl's minds, and be one of the most talked-about topics among ppl.

to quote the conclusion of the seminar:"This novel (DVC) is entertaining but it is not history. Genuine history requires proof. The author has taken a set of ideas and speculative historical reconstructions, each of which is highly implausible in itself (Holy Grail, Goddess in the Gospels), and by weaving them together has not only created an exciting plot but has made several implausible elements appear for a moment as though they might be true. The pseudo-historical claims of a modern novel can't make truth false.

GK Chesterton reminded us that orthodoxy is not only true; it is infinitely more interesting than heresy. The book will soon fall from the best-seller lists. It is now eleventh place in the New York TImes hardcover fiction list. Our faith will continue..."

lincoln brewster

i really love this song.

the praise song we sang today.

it really uplifts me. really encourages me. and i cant stop smiling when i hum it.

its really the feeling of falling in love with someone.

in bliss, in an atmosphere of total love.

i am falling in love with YOU! yes YOU! :)

...by lincoln brewster..

"..i will love the Lord
with all my heart
with all my soul
with all my mind
with all my strength......" :)

Check out exciting gifts in our very own Hope Resources!


Mother’s Day’s coming! And of course, special gifts for the special someone. J
Check out Hope Resources! eStore http://estore.hopesingapore.org.sg/ for Mother's Day Promotions. Here goes!


Cool coffee muggg! It creates froth! Get one for your coffee-drinking mum! Excitement for morning sips!


Music CD plus VCDPrice: S$35.00.
Pan Xiu Qiong, a well-known singer from the 1960’s and 1970’s. 2 CDs includes 28 Songs Favourites + 1 Special Bonus Life Story VCD. VCD and CDs for $35 buckerooos only! Grab it for mums who loves Chinese songs! Pan Xiu Qiong can’t be a wrong choice!



John C. Maxwell Price: S$17.00. New York Times Bestseller. Drawing from famous author John Maxwell's bestsellers "Developing the Leader Within You, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader, and Becoming a Person of Influence, Leadership 101 explores the timeless principles that have become Dr. Maxwell's trademark style.

And audio for $28!
For business minded mummies!

The Busy Woman's Guide to a Balanced Life-$10! For busy mumms read! :)

We have everything for every mumm! Do check out our store webbbbie! Come to http://estore.hopesingapore.org.sg/default.php?cPath=177 for more gift ideas!

Happy Mother’s Day to all mummms! :)

:)

recollections.

sense of nostalgia.

or if nostalgia too sad, or negative a word..what about..calling them memories? :)

i was just looking through some old photos. and i really love the times i've had so far.

from how i started my schooling life in living water christian church as a K1 student, where i rem hilarious moments like the way i wrote the chinese word "qing wa" (frog)...hmm.. hahas.

to kheng cheng..i love my pri school times. really. it was a place where i grew, i made great friendships. a whole environment of learning in fun, joy and laughter. nurturing teachers, great friends..great buds. a teacher i will always remember and miss. yang lao shi! he is an important figure in my life. i dont think many people know that, but this dear old guy is fantastic. he taught me so much. his passion for art sparked off passion within me too. he created lots of opportunities for me to learn and grow in the area of art and chinese calli. i suppose, this tiny, and seemingly unimportant areas of my primary school life really built the foundation of positive self concept within me. its really an important seed, to have people believing in you. :)

and cedar! i adore cedar. i love the people. i love the teachers. i love the energy. i love the cheers!. i love the canteen's ru dan (egg). i love the around-school-jogs before recess time. i love training times. i love the stay-in-classroom-during-recess-time-and-try-to-eat-your-lunch-though-its-rule-breaking time. i love the long walk out from school down cedar ave to bus stop. endless. endless list to the loves.

of cos, it was a time when i was growing up..when i suppose i was quite a brat. when i was immature. a time where i made many silly decisions. :)

but it was also a place which nurtured an identity within me. a place where they instill confidence within you. they empower you. it's dynamic. and i'm really glad to be part of the cedarian fam.

then to aj. ah-ha. that's the place where learning became a bit of dread. can't blame. it's a pre-tertiary stage already. i remember being irritated at all those who preached to me that jc will be so many times better than sec sch. *stares. hahahas.

of cos, there were still things to bring back. great people, great class that i've had. the funny silly things the class did. mr yip's physics class. HAHAS! rem some of them were punished by having to have their desks facing the walls during class. jokers.

and strangely, it was the place and stop in my life where i came to know God. i really cant help but think it must..IT MUST be God's plan. you don't know how much i was banging to go to sajc before going aj. ask reg for the reasons. hahhas.

i never imagine myself coming to know God in this land. really. i planned to go sajc.. with one reason being to know more about Christianity, to experience the Christian fellowship, to find out more, to gain exposure to spirituality.

but no, i dont know what came over me. i decided to pull out and put aj instead. despite the many reasons why i should, i want, i desire to go sajc.

but there are many things which don't need a reason, isnt it? it just happens. :)

and i've never looked back since. this journey with God is so real and dear to me.. and having Him in my life made me move forward in life with a different kind of confidence.

and i reckon that's Faith. not a future that's based on tangibility...things like studies, leadership roles and everything. it's..hmm. just a drive, a focus that i know i never had before i knew Christ.

it's been amazing. the past 3 years were something i never forsee in my life when i was looking 20 years down the road when i was in my sec sch days. it was COMPLETELY off my plan. i never imagine life to take a turn in this direction at this lifestage. never. never. and never.

of cos, His ways are higher than my ways. and He knows what's the best for me.. and His plans are in place for me already.

everything in His time.. :)

the five love languages.

was pretty surprised at this quiz. it turned out to be i had to imagine i have a partner and stuff. but i really agree with the analysis. the top 3 are what i have expected before i do the test. :) quality time, service, physical touch. hahahs!! Disclaimer: I still LOVE GIFTS! Keep coming! HAHAHA!

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		11
Acts of Service:		7
Physical Touch:		7
Words of Affirmation:		3
Receiving Gifts:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

it's a small world afterall..its a small..small..world. fullstop.

sometimes you really got to admit that the world is VERY SMALL.

or rather, Sing is small.

i was looking through the photos on friendster..and i saw Joanna in Genecia's arms!

okok.. disclaimer. Joanna, as in greeny jo.

and Genecia's her immediate cousin!

what can i say.

it's a small world afterall..it's a small.small world. :)

visited eilton at where he was working the other day with the caregroup. hahas. he's working in the super duper old lifebookshop at forum. thought we should pop by and add some 'life' there. :)

he played this dvd for us to watch. titled 'face-down'. and frankly, i forgot about this until this afternoon, this word rung in my head again.

it was based on Leviticus 9:24. "Fire came out from the presence of the LORD and consumed the burnt offering and the fat portions on the altar. And when all the people saw it, they shouted for joy and fell facedown..."

a demonstration of humility, a simple demonstration of reverence, for Him..

Have i fell facedown, in honouring reverence and humility for Him, today?

and if i see Jesus today, will i honour Him with this simple demonstration of reverence?

Have we customised God? Have we diluted the essence of God honouring attitudes as we desire to be relevant to the world?

Honestly, i know i am guilty of that.

Lord, change my heart.. renew my spirit. teach me dear Lord, to impart and impact my team with Your vision, help me to grow and mature in disciple making.

Lord, help me to recall the essence of "follower-ship", in the midst of leadership.

facedown. 0mm from knees to ground.

"We will crown You, King forever, Living Saviour, Jesus Redeemer...."

well, mr lenny just set up a blog. hahas. amazing.

and decided to pop by and hey, was really encouraged by the posts proclaiming his love for Him.

and amazingly, i started to blog hop a bit and went onto this person's link. hmm well. i dunno him personally, but i know he's the president of the Student Council during my JC days. hahas.

saw one of his recent blog post on holy spirit baptism. and hey, we were discussing this extensively during our DMM last night. we went through the whole teaching and was reading through the materials on who the holy spirit is, the manifestations of the spirit, so on and so forth.

and great! i've got another insight of another person from another church. perhaps the sharing will provide a fuller understanding. :)

and so....i kinda ripped this off fr his entry. i think he wouldnt mind eh? hahahas i mean its gd stuff! here goes the post..

"Mark 16:17 ... They will speak in new tongues..
WakIng up to a great sunday morning, as i prayed to God for some answers in tongues.. i decided to find out more...

Mark 16:17 And these signs will follow those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons, they will speak with new tongues;

in this context Jesus has risen from the dead, His perfect work have ben finished on the cross n' the Lord has risen him. Surely, from this point, its the New covenent.

Casting out demons, speakng intongues and healing all appear n other passages in e NT, and there is no scriptural warrant for their cessation before the Lord returns.

New tongues refers to supernaturally speaking a human language,

unknown to the speaker (Acts 2:1-13)or in a transrational language of heaven (1 Cor 13:1) Though i speak with the tongues of men and of angels..

1 Cor 13 then goes on tokking about LOve, How God's uncondiional love permeate your attitude, motives, thoughts, words and actions. It is this Love that authenticates spititual gifts..

erhz, cant finish, shall resume later...
take-aways:- no scriptural warrants for the cessation of speaking in tongues before He returns- Love of Lord that authenticate the speaking in tongues

Sunday, April 23, 2006

1Cor 12:30 .. Do all speak with tongues? ..
Cont'd

Not all will manifest the gift of tongues in public worship. Yet, in private devotion everyone is encouraged to express themselves thru their spiritual language

1 Cor 14:5 i wish you all spoke with tongues, but even more that you prophesied;prophesied means to talk in language that ppl understand, why did Paul say "even more"? coz w/o interpretation, it is not edifying the church, n' hence he endorsed prophecy over tongues in this context

bt nevertheless, for personal 'use', one should speak in tongues. because..
1) e speaker may not know what he or she is saying, but they can be sure to whom they are speaking
2) we express praise while doing so (Acts 2:11 Cretes and Arabians, we do hear them speak in our tongues the wonderful works of God.)
3) we pray using the Understanding of God and not our own limited understanding (1cor 14.15 What is it then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the understanding also: I will sing with the spirit, and I will sing with the understanding also.)

hEEz, tt's why i like to pray in tongues~! how many agree that its wonderful not having to know what you would need to pray for but pray in the spirit so that all that is needed will be provided n' added unto you! =)

posted by His sheep at 8:41 PM 0 comments "

some food for thought. n praying wont be caught by him for plagarizing hahahas!

wheee! received this fr liyan! hahas!

http://www.MingXiu.youaremighty.com/

it's like so cooollll.

going down to nuh to meet shep later! hahha a journey to the west literally.

i really got to kow-tow to all the leaders who are living at the edge of singapore. imagine the kind of dist they make to meet up ppl living in the central and stuff. sacrifice. really going all the way out to do His work.

and oh.. saw this in an outdated 8 days mag. haha happen to be re-browsing and saw this webbbie.. www.thesaltandpeppershakermuseum.com. haha. i m pretty amazed how salt and pepper shakers are considered artefacts that can be displayed for exhibition. hahas. interesting.

as i look back upon my week, it was terrible. or terrible is too light a word to express my heart and degree of the "terrible-ness"?

terror-terri-horror-horri-ble. yeah. that kind. hahas.

in fact, i really thought i was clinically depressed. all symptoms fufilled. hahas.

but as i think back again, i give thanks for the rough times. it really challenge my limits. challenge my character. challenge my threshold of things around me. challenge my faith. challenge my security. challenge my trust. challenge my almost everything.

sometimes i wonder what lies ahead. and whenever i think of this, corrine may's song jus come into my mind. "Everything in His time". And the lyrics, "there are a thousand reasons why i should give up, but i'm stubborn in the things i believe....."

"I'm telling you, the answer will come, Hold on to patience and watch for the sign,..everything in His time.."

when i start to turn my head from stressors to blessings, the difference in my spirit is immeasurable. i start to give thanks. and recall the snippets of blessings. how can i not be moved? my friends, my family, spirtual fam, everyone. how can i not be blessed?

u know whats the problem with me? i am suffering from some short sightedness. spiritually.

i get too focused on the present downs, and find it hard at times to look beyond the future ups.

m really immersed with joy and hope when i jump into thanksgiving. so much to rejoice about.

ytd's prayer meet really stir in me. i walked in, and what i heard was the qn " are you in a battle today?"

honestly, i thought i was. but after much thoughts, maybe where i am now is jus the pre war period. hahahs.

now is the 'donning on armour-putting out shield-drawing out my sword and getting ready to charge across battle field' time.

and what moves me? i know i m not alone. He is already in front.

I just need to get the rest to be ready. beside one another.

one 'ohana!

Alright, due to the over the weeks intense training in quoting authors after the piles of reports, heres one:

"To quote Lilo, in her own eloquent way, she said, 'Ohana means family. Family means no one is left behind - or forgotten.' "

Reference:
Fischer, J. (i dunno the year). Lilo & Stitch and the Spirit of Hawaii:
The message of the film and the meaning of 'ohana [Online]. Available: http://gohawaii.about.com/cs/hawaiifilms/a/lilo_and_stitch_2.htm (2006, April 22)

hehe. bet the referencing is wrong. i seldom reference online stuff. hahahs.

doing my groupwork assignment.

eyes are barely..1mm opened.

typed onto google: intellectually disabled+puppetry cos thats the theme of my groupwork report. designing series of 6 puppetry sessions for intellectually disabled children.

and as i hit 'enter' on the keyboard, what caught my eye was this link..

Hope Church Singapore Community Ministry Year 2003
Bishan Home is a home that provides care for the Intellectually Disabled. During the visitation, the volunteers presented a puppet show, sang carols, ...www.hopesingapore.org.sg/community_2003.htm - 43k - Cached - Similar pages

wow. i am very heartened, to know that the church is reaching out to people with special needs as well.

am inspired to do more. :)

Generation NEXT 06'- Poly/DI Church Camp @ downtown east!

14-17March2006. :)

WOTS400!

a friend smsed me this today:

" For christians, prayer is not an option, but an opportunity. in prayer, expect setbacks, but refuse retreat. Don't tell the LORD how big the problem is, tell the problem how great the LORD is!"

so listen up 'Problems'. u r too small and insignificant to shroud the greatness of our LORD!

i don't really dare to look at the clock now.

but i got to wake up at 6.30 tmr morning. and i have no idea why i am still up. can't sleep.
not as if its my wedding. its my aunt's!

perhaps its the coffee just now. sheesh.

munching cookies baked by jorris.. absolutely scruMpolicious. hahaahahhas!

don't you find the world warp?

why is it that things like the SIT video saga can spread like a plague, without much effort, everyone has seen it, heard about it, understand it.

Why won't their hearts be as open to the Truth, the Living Word?

i think its all about Desire. when u desire for something, u go for it.

told u. Man are hard-to-understand creatures.

praise the LORD!

i really felt like crying just now. seriously. like i can feel the intense fear gripping my heart.

nothing big actually. but i really felt cold all over.

i thought i lost the word document!

and i really stayed up to do..i was half dying staring at the screen. i recall the experience as r.e.p.u.l.s.i.v.e.

and the idea of RE-DOING wasnt exact fantastic. and the deadline for this epractical is like..today?

and in my hopelessness..i jus kept mumbling to God..and kept shaking my thighs and biting my lips..

mx's nervous breakdown symptoms. hahas.

yeah and i can laugh now. cos i found it! thanks Ceyu!!! so IT savvy. a call away!!

Praise the Lord. phew. i promise, i will SAVE, EMAIL and SAVE EVERYWHERE my assignments the next time round.

i have a weak heart.

i know i am a bit lagggg..

but..

i just realised..

corrinne may blogs. hahahas.

www.corrinnemay.blogspot.com. :)

and i am dying from doing the home and comm e practical. my eyes cannot take it already.

but..

do i have a choice?

No.

So?

back to work. enough of corrinnemay.

...............

saw this on xuan's bloggg. JOhari window! i just learnt this in jo's lesson. ;)

come come. friends. do this for me. gam sia. :) hahhahhas.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=-mx

so blessed today!

shareen gave me a box, with cute pics of cows on it!

and deb surprised me with a huge stuffed cow when we went home tog!

Thanks dears!

went for teh tarik with huimei, joella, huishan, deb, hannah and jiahui. after dinner today ;)

was supposed to discuss with huimei abt the upcoming unit CG. and the conversation drifted to about relationships, about life partners..hahaha (tt's how far women can digress, for ur info. ;) )

and inevitably, we started sharing about what kind of character are we looking for in our life partners. and seriously, i think night time breeds openness. hehs.

and as i was walking home just now, i was very reminded of cm's song- mr. beasley.

the song may sound kind of silly, but its so real. and i think the song really brings out the essence of my thoughts as well. hahas.

the essence of "being urself".

was sharing to huimei, that admist the ideal characteristics of my life partner, i am looking for someone who can make me feel that i am being "myself" when with him, and he too, is comfortable for being himself.

dunno why, but this is a v impt factor for me.

so with vday coming up, this's song for ur listening ear. enjoy ;)

M R . B E A S L E Y
Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo
Copyright 1997, Corrmay Gourmet Music (ASCAP)
You don't have to drive a fancy car
Don't have to quote me Shakespeare just to woo me
Yeah I see your nervous laughter when you're trying to crack some joke
Well, you don't fool me
I'd like to see your eyes through those goggles that you're wearing
Don't try to hide away

Just be yourself, Mr. Beasley
I don't need your show of attitude
Coz' it's your soul that makes me fall in love with you

You don't know this but I see you in the church when you are praying,
You just move me
And my friend Sue she tells me you've been teaching kids for free
Mr. Philanthropy
I'd like to see your eyes through those goggles that you're wearing
Don't try to hide away

Just be yourself, Mr. Beasley
I don't need your show of attitude
Coz' it's your soul that makes me fall in love with you
Be yourself, Mr. Beasley
I don't need your show of attitude
Coz' it's your soul that makes me fall in love with you

I'd like to see your eyes through those goggles that you're wearing
Don't try to hide away

sometimes, as i walk along the streets or anywhere, alone, with busy bustle passing me by,

or even as i am squeezing with people back to back on trains.

in lifts with fellow campus mates.

sitting beside a girl of my age on a bus.

walking out of school, with chattering campus mates in front of me. and the list goes on and on....

i wonder,

"who will i be today, if i hadn't known Him?"

i was trying to picture myself, my life priorities, my interest, and how i would spend my time..

haven really had a conclusion as yet.

but one thing i'm definite of as of now, i will never have the willingness to attempt things which tests my comfort zone, which threatens my security if i hadnt known Him. i m very sure of that.

I am very thankful for Him living in me, a living and divine security in which i can build my life upon.

and its simply because of this identity as a child of God, i came to see myself trying things in which i would have stood in fear facing , if i hadnt known Him.

and it doesnt mean that i experience success everytime i take that step of faith and try as well.

but amazingly, u just have the assurance that this is not the end of, but the process of experiencing His presence and power in your life.

gd nights. ;)

AND! i want to give thanks for someone!

Yes its you Silvana!

THANKS for taking time to do up a personalised timetable! I am really blessed!! i needed a soft copy NICE timetable, and i got it thru u! its nice..i totally love it!

honestly, i was physically tired fr head to toe today. or rather ytd..as in wednesday. ok u get the drift. i still think its today. hahas.

was wondering how i am going to really to stay alert to mit up the girls.

i dunno. haha. i just prayed. for strength and that i will do my best. ;)

and, i totally loved today! i was reminded of this verse in proverbs 11:25..he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. so apt. so true.

know what's a more powerful agent than coffee to keep awake? ;) (haha i was just reminded of chipmunk's decaf coffee..haha)

presence of God.

i dont want to get caught into the cliches of things. but as i reflect upon today, the Word of God really refreshed me. I felt conviction strengthening as i share with nah and han.

even when i met deb at nydc after 'em, i still felt empowered by the Holy Ghost to spend time with this girl.

shared with nah and han abt the 2 bible characters, Joshua and Moses. i recall Jasmine sharing with full conviction about leadership.

and i suddenly could understand the conviction even better when i verbalise it to others. now i know..no wonder they always say its always different being a consumer from a producer. the level of conviction deepens. :)

and also what i've learnt fr sun's seminar. today, something else stirred. its abt this point of spending time of every moment of everyday with the person, if u want to know this person personally..

hear Him, anytime, anywhere. thru ppl, thru circumstances, thru His word, thru worship..in quietness. anywhere.

don't limit God with the capacity of my own human brain, mx. if i can ever limit it within the boundary of my own brain, He won't be God.

i was exceptionally hit again by the analogy Dr keith made..about using our own understanding to interpret God and His Word, without Him. its as if putting a CD into a toaster. its incompatible.

i enjoyed the time exploring different qns with Deb as well, even to topics of change in physical appearance..

my personal stand to her is this..something which i use when i am stuck in dilemmas and indecisiveness..

i ask myself..:mx, if i do this, will it extend the KOG?

if Yes, why not? Nike! (Just do it!)

if it doesnt affect at all (in other words, no effect if u do it or not), then u have a choice of doing it or u don't. doesnt matter at all actually.

BUT, if it HINDERS the extension of the KOG, then, don't do it.

so far, i found this personal benchmark to be helpful in helping the indecisive me, to keep the main thing the main thing.. thou i think i still fail many times.

i m still learning. teach me Lord, to live my life thru ur eyes.

Blessed 23rd, my dearest leader liyan! thanks for investing your youth in our lives!

Blessed 21st, lenny! i thank the Lord for the friendship we share!

Blessed 21st, colin! thanks for your leadership as a coach in Hope resources!

these guys have been a blessing to me in their own ways! :) thanks!

this weekend has been amazingly powerful. i felt that every single teaching was for me. really.

it all started from saturday, with the sermon Ps Lawrence preached. I always enjoy the way Ps Lawrence delivers his teaching. he always conveys his msg thru a movie clip, thru activities. i am someone who learns from impression.

back to the main stuff. guess whats the title?

Love in Action.

So apt. i need that.

Ps Lawrence shared about this guy in the Bible, Philemon. He is someone who has no unforgiving bone in his body! He always appreciate GOD for the good in others (Philemon 1:4-5).

Ps Lawrence shared that he is "thanksgiving-challenged". i can absolutely identify with that. its not very natural of me to want to give thanks for every single thing that GOD has placed in my life. I find it easier to play the devil's advocate most of the time.

He also shared that God wants to stretch our love. i was like..FWAH. God u customised this teaching for me. I can almost envision myself frantically waving to GOd with both of my hands.."YeS YES! It's me LORD!! I feel so limited in my capacity to love!"

attended CLM. jasmine shared to us about being 'charismatic' leaders. i love the way she puts it. its so true.
Do you have... C.H.A.R.I.S.M.A?

C are
H elp
A ffimative
R elate
I nitiative
S mile!
A vailable.

and guess what...each time she reveals one alphabet, i felt like.."ops. i don't have this. o no, i have NONE of that.."

argh. and trust me. the feeling wasnt gd.

but guess wad, i felt really encouraged, and am determined to turn tables. to grow in these areas! there wont be any excuse that His kingdom wont advance then.

its possible. with God, all things are possible. :)

more i've learnt. but got to KO now. gd nights world.

and happy birthday dearest deb!!

0940hr

i love waking up early nowadays. i feel gd, i feel ready for a great day ahead! i feel that i am ready to embrace the challenges ahead as well. and seriously, with waking up early, i feel right with God and everything. i love the breeze thats blowing in now. i love the sun that's on shining over my table top now. i am enjoying my breakfast of beehoon now (now they taste delicious, the used to taste soggy by the time i wake up...). i am enjoying the noise the floor cleaner is making outside my house now cos i am someone who works with a bit of noise (which i am usually irritated by cos i am trying to steal sleep).

i love mornings! good morning Lord!

i remember ps ben once shared.."do u often say: Good Lord! It's morning...... Or Good Morning, Lord!" i think i have been stuck in the previous for very very very long. time to move on!

enjoy every single day of our lives, it should be that way. but often, i am slowly being chewed away by many worries of life..

time to sit down, relax, and starbucks with God.

i thank God for the past one week. I feel "right-er" with Him.

after reflections of 2005. be ready for a 2006.

preparing to meet the camp comm soon! i will be doing materials. i m really really excited for this camp, tho i highly doubt that i can make it cos its during my clinicals.

nevertheless, i am thankful to be given such an opportunity to lead in the area of materials!

a new experience. :)

"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. :)"

Just woke up. had quite a gd rest after ytd's match with ngee ann. amazingly, and i'm sure it was by God's grace, we won!

not trying to be holy or what ppl often misunderstood as "everything-is-God-God-God-in-good-times".

at least i felt God's empowerment for myself. as i seek strength from Him, He empowers me during the stress-est periods. i feel that hey, i am in control.

i'm jus glad we all tried our best! its great to see everyone putting in the utmost effort despite slim chances.

esp pearlyn and fishcake who has nv paired up before! but u guys did well! and zixian as wel, who nv play for like 2 yrs??!

anyway, josie just sent me this email. thought it was pretty interesting. enjoy! :)

NEW ELEMENT IN THE PERIODIC TABLE
Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas. > >> >>> > > >>
*PHYSICAL PROPERTIES*
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment. > >> >>> > > >> >>> > > >> >>> > >

*CHEMICAL PROPERTIES* >
1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones and absorbs great quantities of expensive substances. > >> >>> > > >> >>> > > >> >>> > > >> >>> >
2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason. >>> > > >> >>> 3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by that. > > >> >>> >
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man. >>> >>> > > >> >>> >

*COMMON USES*
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars. >
2. Can be great aid to relaxation. >
*TESTS* > >> >>> >** > >> >>> > > >> >>> >
1. Pure specimen > >>turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

*POTENTIAL HAZARD* > >> >>> > > >> >>> > > >> >>> >
illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact with each other. (i thought this was really funny!!!)*!!

*!!WARNING !!*
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS.
BE CAUTIOUS
ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD

loads..heap loads of things happened just as new year started. pretty overwhelmed initially..but slowly..slowly..i think it all made sense to me. :) thank God for His unfailing faithfulness.

last week was a complete mess for me. a crazy one. a terrible one even i would say..but perhaps thru the lenses of mine, it seemed really horrible.

i did not understand why everything happened all at the same time? i felt like a squeeze ball that was entirely squeezed to bits, with intense pressure from every aspect of my life.

i guess wed was a great learning lesson for me. i will bear it in mind. painful lesson, but it really brought me to a much deeper level of understanding and trust in God. and really..i could not bring myself to concentrate for the whole of the next day. i was actually brooding..dwelling..and even mentally rehearsing some words that were said in my brain..

the feeling was horrid. i hate the feeling whenever my emotions get out of hands. seriously. and the really torturous part was tt i had to continue life on thurs as normal. no time for a breather. many times i just had to stay in the toilet to pray.

a moulding time. make or break.

of cos had blessings as well! Hope Resource Annual Appreciation Night was on fri! me and shuyi, jitsy and david as well did the deco and mini door gifts. ;) i really love the spirit of these ppl, ever full of energy and joy in serving God. non-complaining, ever-rejoicing. funnily, but i thought that that night, it was really the time i managed to break the "bondage" of dwelling finally. cos i found more reasons to serve with joy than to wallow in self-pity! self-pity- OUT!

though it was a simple gathering, i truly enjoyed myself tt night. i thought it was a warm atmosphere of people. i m v inspired by this sister especially from adults grp- xue mei. she is extremely sincere.. and i think that her sincerity moves me greatly. and what surprises me what that ive gotten the best new volunteer award..hahahs. really. *cross my heart* i nv imagine that whole chunk of description was mee. but thanks so much for that affirmation. it encouraged me a lot. :)

celebrated hannah's and joanna's birthday as well! i'm ready for an exciting journey with u hannah. a convenanted journey. :)

and joanna! although i managed to attend just half an hr...but i could really sense the love in ur family and extended family! it really warms me! thanks for being such a great host!

sat's svc was awesome. it ministered to me in a very personal level. God, you really know my heart condition. it was battered and torn, but ur love mended it...and really, Your love, still amazes me.. Your love, really melts me.

i dont know how many people could see tt, but i am someone who is not quite expressive in emotions. but i dont think that equates to me being emotionless..in fact, i will say i m emotion-ful..hahah not emotional tho', ok, if u get what i am trying to say..hahas.

xuan once mentioned, i could still vividly remember, that he feels that i am like a man.

hardy and yeah..not really letting feelings get over the better of me.

but i think, not really true either, its just tt its happening all within me..cos i m poor at expressing. hahas.

whatever it is, just remember to realign ur heart with God. :)

Lord, . i do not want to turn cold to everything..keep me warm. my heart, keep it pumping hard! i give thanks for ur gentle encouragement and nudge thru the worship and Word!

wow. u know what. it was an extreme feeling of victory over defeat that day. i rejoiced, i felt freee from the bondage of words, of discouragement, of hurts.

i know that, if Christ is in the centre of it all, everything is going to be working out beautifully.. :)

mx, relax. learn to let go, and let Him.

"letting go of me, holding on to You.."

had cg today. i love it. you know why? cos 2 special people joined us! cg must be beyond a holy huddle! but one with new faces new faces new faces!

shareen's first time with us at cg, and pris as well. ;)

i love today as well, cos i get to spend time with everyone.

and pris, i am truly thankful for ur openness in sharing during cg. i was touched by ur sincerity and willingness to share. i do believe as well, that this friendship is not a coincidence. :)

and of cos, i do hope that one day, u will recognise that He loves u, He cares for u. and He sends u friends too. :)

in Ecclesiates 4, it says "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. "

uve been a blessing to me, really. encouraged me a lot, in ways in which u may not know, but yups, i really give thanks for having u around.

wheee....time to rest.

with Christ in the vessel, I can SMILE at the storm. :)


Col 3:23..Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

today's the third day of christmas. :)

was watching grey's anatomy just now. a fantastic show. i am really attracted to the show. i dunno why.

it managed to capture my attention for the full length of the show. usually, i will be really fidgety by midlength of the show? but the story managed to keep me on.

about a bunch of interns. who were having their internship at SGH..hahahhahaha! wellwell, not singapore general hospital, but seattle grace hospital.

perhaps its cos i am having attachment now, tts why i feel exceptionally like this show speaks to me. hahas! the hospital scenes, the supervisor scene, the canteen scene, the books scene, the friends scene, the patients scene..but i think just that i dont have the operating table scene. (thank GOD very much for that!) hahahhas.

i really admire the doctors in this show. their commitment. their ability to handle stress. performing under stress. and yet, not forgetting fun and some humour as well. :)

the key person which attracted me is of cos, none other than meredith.

a few lines which she shared captured my heart.

things like..something like tt.."i cannot think of a hundred ways why i want to be a doctor, but i can think of a thousand ways why i want to quit."

and she still hung on. :)

i think the key is about PASSION. passion drives. passion stirs ur heart. passion boils ur blood.

when she shared that, it really struck me. cos i was just thinking about the issue of being a Christ follower as well. i was just thinking back of the one yr ive spent in the poly ministry. last christmas to this yr's.

and i was just reading the card deb gave me this morn. she wrote along the borders, something like : Member, cg mate, shep, leader..

i was thinking. hey, i din realised that. but yeah, its a process of my spiritual growth for the past one yr. thank God for Deb who reminded me with the card.

really. sometimes, its just so hard to state down a hundred reasons why i am still serving Him, or even leading a flock for Him, with the amount of rejections, misunderstandings, commitment, tears, sweat, time, energy..everything.

and for the above same reasons, its so simple to come up with a thousand reasons (or should i say excuses..haha) why i should quit.

but, as i ponder, i realised, whoever told u the statement which has the higher number of reasons wins? :)

i only need One reason, of credibility and Truth, to make me retain this commitment for Him. and of cos, the reason is Jesus.

not saying these cos its christmas tho.

i find it hard, or perhaps even impossible, for those who truly experience Jesus, to want to leave Him and forsake Him. no way.

this is my 4th "Christ"mas. Christmas with Christ in it. :) amazing journey.

was not a bed of roses. had doubts. carnal nature. driven by the world many times.

but i thank Him for not giving up on me. for the many times, He pruned me and showed His grace upon me.

and also for the many people who did not give up on me as well, who really poured out their life for me. thanks.

for this Christmas thanksgiving, it was important for me to realise, that i am here, because someone had the faith, that i will come to know Jesus one day, no matter how impossible it may seem in human understanding.

and i thank God for their Faith.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see..."- Hebrews 11:1

sometimes, i try to imagine my life now without Jesus. rewinding my days back to 21 July 2002. And starting again from there to now.. 27 Dec 2005.

Hmm..

i will still be someone who is very driven by achievements, someone who is easily stressed out, someone who is ever self-centred, someone who cannot be bothered to talk to people whenever she is tired. someone who complains. someone who will never think of doing beyond what's required, someone contented with life. someone who aims to work in an occupation which pays superbly well. or maybe, someone who is happily hitched with some guy now. Hahahhahahahhas!

perhaps, no one can really identify the amount of grace poured in me except myself. I am not a saint now. definitely not. i m still full of flaws, falling short of a lot of standards.

but the love of God really compells me, to follow Jesus's example, to people He met.

When u seek Him with all your mind, soul, heart and strength, its amazing how He can work through u. Often, i do stupid things that i feel like i am the most foolish person on earth, or by human standards, but time and time again, He carried me through in circumstances where His grace comforts me and strengthens me. Beyond my understanding. His protection upon me is always there. when i am desperate for help, He sents people who helps me just in the way i need. whenever i find it impossible to finish a task, He provides me with strength, resources and even the right people to carry me thru. many many other testimonies.

Really. Jesus. You ve showed me the reason to live.

not joking. i am still up. :)
dont know why. i think its mainly due to the fact that christmas is here. feeling a little excited. geees.

there will be a mini celebration at the rehab centre tmr. ceyu weiting me and irene performing an item..hahahhahahhas! disney medlies! dots right.

but i think there's effort there! so i think the patients will be entertained by us! hahahhahs (i will definitely pray so..hahha)

currently, praying for courage over certain areas in my life.

help me overcome them by ur strength o Lord. :)

oooo and our dear Maple Queen made my names using MAple stuff!!! o, like duh. hahahha
but dunno wht now cannot load on here. tmr!

and i finally managed to get a song going here! but it takes yrs to d/l!

sent by yuhan to me. love this song.

simple, yet so ministering.

and with kids singing it. that makes it even sweeter. :)

took ten min just now jus to purely listen to it again and again, sing along, and let the lyrics stir within me.

"With Your hand in mine, I'll walk where You'll lead me...." i exceptionally love this line..

off to rest. nights world.

;)

Provervs 3:5 (NIV)- Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding....

its really rare for me to be online at this hour when there is clinicals the nx day.

2.04 AM.

i hear christmas. i smell christmas. i taste christmas. i feel christmas. i see christmas. i love christmas.

althou this time round, i am really pressed for time. no christmas gifts shopping as yet, nevertheless, i am feeling all excited.

and altho orchard road seems a little quieter this year, it seemed to me a much more meaningful one as well.

the activities really bring out the Essence of Christmas. what Christmas is all about. :)

went narnia carnival w pris ytd! eh honestly, the size of the carnival was a little disappointing. however, saw a few familiar faces who are volunteers! like uncle desmond, joanne and some others who were singing on stage!

went into the wardrobe. it really triggered me to want to catch the movie. went borders today. saw the narnia bk. i had no idea narnia was written so long ago!

oh wells. ignorance. i know.

i am certainly looking forward to everything! there will be carolthon on wed, ttsh rehab mini therapist cum patient party! the 2 services on fri night and sat! the visitation of Hongkong cafe aft svc on sat! and stay over at ECP! wooohooo!

tho i am tired physically at times, i thank the Lord for His providence and strength for each new day. :)

was lookin at the outdoor photo exhibition outside borders today whilst waiting for liyan to come. the pictures were beautiful. each picture had its story to tell.

the theme was "Earth from above", where all the photos were taken from the helicoptor.

splendid views.

but among so many, the last one struck me the most. the picture showed Lake Logipi, Suguta Valley in Kenya. in the description, it mentioned about greater flamingos.

and i tried searching for them in the photo. little did i realised, the tiny spots around the lake were the flamingos themselves! THERE WERE SO MANY!!!

but something struck in my heart immediately. something about there are so many of us out there, so so many. each one of us may appear more or less the same, in terms of physical aspects, or even life stage. YET, He knows each and every one of us by name. He knows each one of us as an unique individual....i m thoroughly amazed.

www.yannarthusbertrand.org. By Yann Arthus Bertrand- "Earth From Above".

ok..before i leave, hope this clip entertains many!!
http://www.syfc.org.sg/christmas05/hokkien.htm

nights world. :)

i know its a little..dusty right here. hahahs! time to do something about it huh. hahahas

well. i dont know why. physically i am just so drained day everyday.

but guess what? i am feeling so excited within me during this season.

this excitement and joy i cant contain within me. wow.

i m someone who is not really very capable of expressing my emotions, my thoughts, my feelings very well outwardly, u can be sure of that.

i really love this season. i really love christmas periods.

its a very fuzzy feeling. a very meaningful period.

and here to YOU! hahhahahas!

i always give thanks to the Lord for u. always.

and even though u made urself v clear each time, i m still busked in hope, faith and excitement for u. i dont know why. :)

we'll see. no matter how long it may take. we'll see.

;)

reality finally set in today.

i felt the tweeny weeny bit of me saying 'o Lord, i simply don't have enough time to do Your Work! u will understand my situation, isn't it??'

and the next moment, the Holy Spirit stirred within me a really uneasy feeling.

What a really bad EXCUSE u've got, mx.

Indeed, its of no new news that clinicals can almost drive u to a max point of madness most of the times, leaving u with a life thats wake up, clinicals, either back to school library to look up journals, if not, back home at night to plan ur treatment plans for ur patients (which is wee hrs by then), sleep (or should i say just simply lying down..). and then, up u go again, wake up, clinicals......the vicious cycle goes on.

and it will go on n on for the next one month.

supposedly.

but somehow, within me, i felt a nudge of challenge.

a challenge to break out of this vicious cycle of routine. and for the past 2 days, i m really being thrown into such challenges.

i could hardly move my brain at 5.30pm sharp, where i have to attend resource meeting on mon night and led CG ytd night.

but guess what? The Lord really refreshes when you realign ur life with Him as the centre. :)

negativity do seep in at times. they try to steal my joy, my excitement, my rest in Him from me. it plants disappointments and fears in me as well.

BUT, i am STRUCK BUT NOT DOWN. amen?

i will thrive! by His grace, i will truly enjoy this season, of clinicals, and of course, this magnificent harvest!

17"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men."- Mark 1:17

i can see the long journey ahead.

i can imagine the fatigue.

w many responsibilities, Lord, help me not to compromise ur work, ur burden.

By ur grace, i shall lift Your Name even higher.

For when i am weak, you are strong.

amen.

will be off for clinicals tmr!

woooo..mixed feelings. i m all excited, but on the other hand, i m feeling jittery about it.
its a different kind of attachment from the previous two. this time round, i have my own clients/patients. to perform assessments competently, and to come up with treatment plans. its sooooooooo into it. please pray hard ppl. that the lives in my hands...will stay remain very much alive after my therapy. hahahhahas!

posted to tan tock seng rehab centre. i guess no one can kind of identify with the tiny smile within my heart. cos God is good. :) during the period when the sch was searching for placement centres for us, i never stop praying for a centre that's near to school and ministry house to cut down on travelling time during this season. this season is important, and distance really matters a lot to me.. i did not want distance and time to be factors of me not being able to be physically there for ministry!

So..3 cheers to God's faithfulness!! He always answer our prayers when our motives are aligned according to His will. he gave me a placement tt's almost within walking distance to school..and a mrt stop away from min house! How blessed can i be!

Give thanks!

and i want to give thanks to peeps like pris, jo, shu and the rest who remembered and encouraged me before i go for my clinicals tmr. wow..thanks for remembering it, even tho attachment is like a small issue but u guys remembered. i m touched. :)

and also, i want to give thanks..to my great team in nyp4. ever-ready armour bearers. really. lets keep going together. i m all charged up to see breakthroughs in each of our lives.

i want to give thanks! for the ministry i m serving in- Hope Resource! in fact, i think i have failed to give thanks for it since the day i served there! how could i. through serving in that ministry, i find joy in listening to the praise and worship, browsing thru the books for freeeee (hahahha!) and even greater joy in serving others. will be working with shuyi for the publicity and deco for upcoming annual appreciation night. And i m thankful that even through Resource, i am always given opportunities to extend my interest and perhaps, gifting of worksmanship. thanks to all who create opportunities for me to grow.

and also, m ever thankful for friends in all aspects of my life. poncard khakis- tho we dont get to spend much time tog, but really, u guys made sch very much bearable and alive for me! thanks. :). huimei, my shep and all leaders who have poured out all for our growth.

so much more. like xuan, thanks for the constant encouragement and little blessings tho' we r serving in different units. a great bud in Christ, together with sher and the rest. u guys light up my life ever since i came to know Him. :)

and even ex shep junting! who remembered me even tho she's in aust. passed me a shirt thru jason who was in melbourne for his short study trip. i always give thanks for her life. she really invested her all in me. thanks shep.

i think the thanksgiving spirit was spark off by watching star awards earlier on! hahas. funnily, but yes, the Holy Spirit gently reminded me, :have i gave thanks for everything that He has given me, by grace, so far?

the thanksgiving in my heart will keep on keeping on. yes. it will keep on keeping on.

i want to give thanks every single second, day or night, good or bad.

i want to give thanks to u Lord. for You are good.

Praise the LORD.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
- Psalms 106

should be off to rest in a moment. had a long day, but was a really fruitful one.

i declare today 'Meet-the-sheep Day', as i met yuhan in the morn at novena before we walked to tan tock seng, and then hannah at her workplace in mos in the evening, and finally deb at night, where we walked around Bugis street. :)

3 different people, 3 different personalities. with me, that makes it 4.

but the cool thing is...., we are serving with 1 vision for 1 purpose.

and thats what makes 1 team. :)

just read Pastor Ben's Blog entries. something hit me.

He travels so often, just like many businessmen and air stewardess, or even avid travellers.

but the difference?

He's on trips to support and encourage overseas missions team!!

and as others count money on business trips, he counts sheep. :)

that's what life's about. it's about lives.

am now in e-plaza.

was the last place that i will imagine seeing u know....

chipmunk.

hahas.

oh wells. did my best to sit at a not-so-obvious side seat.

but still, was discovered, cos shu-jun n elain came over and said hi!

and soon, he got his way to my table too.

think he was dealing with some after-japan trip debrief with the students.

just read a passage. i want to remember it. so i ll put it here.

Deuteronomy 11
Love and Obey the LORD

1 Love the LORD your God and keep his requirements, his decrees, his laws and his commands always. 2 Remember today that your children were not the ones who saw and experienced the discipline of the LORD your God: his majesty, his mighty hand, his outstretched arm; 3 the signs he performed and the things he did in the heart of Egypt, both to Pharaoh king of Egypt and to his whole country; 4 what he did to the Egyptian army, to its horses and chariots, how he overwhelmed them with the waters of the Red Sea [a] as they were pursuing you, and how the LORD brought lasting ruin on them. 5 It was not your children who saw what he did for you in the desert until you arrived at this place, 6 and what he did to Dathan and Abiram, sons of Eliab the Reubenite, when the earth opened its mouth right in the middle of all Israel and swallowed them up with their households, their tents and every living thing that belonged to them. 7 But it was your own eyes that saw all these great things the LORD has done.

8 Observe therefore all the commands I am giving you today, so that you may have the strength to go in and take over the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 9 and so that you may live long in the land that the LORD swore to your forefathers to give to them and their descendants, a land flowing with milk and honey. 10 The land you are entering to take over is not like the land of Egypt, from which you have come, where you planted your seed and irrigated it by foot as in a vegetable garden. 11 But the land you are crossing the Jordan to take possession of is a land of mountains and valleys that drinks rain from heaven. 12 It is a land the LORD your God cares for; the eyes of the LORD your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end.

13 So if you faithfully obey the commands I am giving you today—to love the LORD your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul- 14 then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine and oil. 15 I will provide grass in the fields for your cattle, and you will eat and be satisfied.
16 Be careful, or you will be enticed to turn away and worship other gods and bow down to them. 17 Then the LORD's anger will burn against you, and he will shut the heavens so that it will not rain and the ground will yield no produce, and you will soon perish from the good land the LORD is giving you. 18 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 20 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, 21 so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the LORD swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.

22 If you carefully observe all these commands I am giving you to follow—to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways and to hold fast to him- 23 then the LORD will drive out all these nations before you, and you will dispossess nations larger and stronger than you. 24 Every place where you set your foot will be yours : Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the Euphrates River to the western sea. [b] 25 No man will be able to stand against you. The LORD your God, as he promised you, will put the terror and fear of you on the whole land, wherever you go.

26 See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse- 27 the blessing if you obey the commands of the LORD your God that I am giving you today; 28 the curse if you disobey the commands of the LORD your God and turn from the way that I command you today by following other gods, which you have not known. 29 When the LORD your God has brought you into the land you are entering to possess, you are to proclaim on Mount Gerizim the blessings, and on Mount Ebal the curses. 30 As you know, these mountains are across the Jordan, west of the road, [c] toward the setting sun, near the great trees of Moreh, in the territory of those Canaanites living in the Arabah in the vicinity of Gilgal. 31 You are about to cross the Jordan to enter and take possession of the land the LORD your God is giving you. When you have taken it over and are living there, 32 be sure that you obey all the decrees and laws I am setting before you today.

HE's the Alpha and Omega.

listening to Hillsong Kids Worship- Trust in the Lord.

Yuhan just sent it to me. a simple song. yet so so powerful.

the lyrics stirred a lot within me.

"Trust, trust in the Lord, and lean not on your own understanding.."

i love Jesus. Cos He always works in special ways.

wow. its going to be an exciting season ahead. i'm sure of it. i can smell it already.

:)