i need a rest.

to rest and move on.

I will lie down and sleep in peace,for you alone, O LORD,make me dwell in safety.-Psalm 4:8

now back for a third time. and the final one before i really pop my head to sleep. but i think i am pretty hyped up.

maybe is the country radio on pandora now that i have just changed to.

or i am feeling a little high trying to start working out the months ahead.

don't ask me why. but i m pretty excited abt year 2007.

yeah i know. 2006 is still in the running. hahas.

but as i zoom thru the future months, i know there will be a lot of decision making to come.

and trust me, i hate decision making. peel me off bit by bit, i am not born a decision maker.

but often times, i realised the importance of decision making, and not just that, accurate and non-biased decision making.

i nv really played with the idea of going away to study for quite some time. and now as i m in my final yr here, this idea seems to be calling me back.

i welcome that idea. and i am giving this idea more attention now.

and i know how much repurcussions it will bring if i really turn this idea to reality. good and bad ones.

its not just about me alone; there are many people, many areas, many things which i have to pass thru my brain, heart and mind for "clearance".

one thing for sure, it affects the way i go in terms of my ministry. and one thing for sure, i must know that my folks are ready for it.

and got to chat with mum about it that night. and sounded pretty supportive.

but of course, as sis advised, i better then demonstrate in actions besides speech that i am serious about each and every of my decisions, and that i know what i am doing.

i better start earning my keeps. which my sis and i all know, is not sufficient if i start now anyway. hahas.

but i fully agree with sis. and seldom i do. hahahas!

that its often the thought and action that counts, to my folks at least. the physical action of demonstrating that you are doing something about it is enough. the product (i.e the amount of money earned) doesnt matter.

i know whatever the outcome may be, He wants the best for me, my family, my friends, and my fellow servants in Christ.

and to where i may be fully used by Him.

we'll see where i may go.

imagine with me, what i may be doing in where i may be in one year's time. (:

time to dream. nights world. (;

i totally adore this website that sis has recommended me.

pandora.com.

i m so thankful for having the free flow of songs that accompany me thru the night as i do my work.

so random, so shuffled. and they play your preferred genre of songs without playing the songs of the artiste that you typed in.

i love the corrs. and the genre that pandora found for me was extremely pleasing to the ears. (:

like wow. hahas.

and made me revisit a few songs that i used to listen so much to, but lost touch of em.

listening to A New Day has Come-Celine Dion.

and best part? there's praise and worship too. (:

and i have since concluded: i love pandora, cos i never know what's next.

cheap thrill? maybe. hahas. but i love random.

like now. random entry. k back to work. sensory integrative approach.....

just did up a short write up for a YouthDNA mini proj.

coolios. something is coming. yeah. expect and anticipate! (:

and guess what, its 3.35am. and i am so fully wide awake.

know why? cos the very brainless mx went off to snooze the moment i step into the house at 6.35pm in the evening cos i was almost dying of fatigue.

and the very same brainless mx DID NOT set an alarm due to, malfunctioning of the brain and inability to plan?

and so, result?

woke up at a wonderful time of 11.15pm.

claps.

this is really not good. my body shouldnt be taking the responsibility of these poor timing.

so understand why i m still up?

k. off to do my play+school research. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

really. its a mixed feeling abt school work. grrr.

once again, a week's over. a brand new one starting within hours.

time flies. before my very eyes.

and its a week to my break week. i dont know if its break week, or our break-down week. hahas. much work. fast time.

but nevertheless, i think i m embracing it, and trying to see them thru His eyes. (:

if i m put thru it, i know i can pull thru it. i trust Him to hold the world for me.

of cos, i am forever thankful for the many events that happen in each and every day of my life! good or bad, i know they happen for a reason and purpose, always. (;

mon- had choir prac instead of usual tues. i always look forward to 'em. cos worship always refreshes me. and made a new friend, Haah (i dont know how to spell! but it's pronounce as 'Hi' hahas. ) i love her presence. she's a vietnamese in adults ministry. She got this super duper smiley face that warms me each time i see her. looking tough on the outside but gentle in spirit, and in voice too. (:

tues- met hannah! refreshed time of sharing and learning.

wed- yuhan n me @ essentialbrews. the plc was really packed. a bit of disappointment actually as i wanted a quiet and nice chill-out place for us. hahas. but though it was really busy, its the company that matters. (:

somethings also occurred to shaun. n i m really thankful for shareen's big heart for her bro. and also, i m reallly thankful to our Daddy for watching over him, always.

thurs- cg. had the cg to do an activity! hahas. o wells. think they nearly tore one another's hair out.

fri- stay-over at shera's hall w utan! woohoo! had prataaa, late night walks, and some nice chats at night. thanks shera. my bud for life. thanks utan. let's live it out tog. (:

sat- it marks the 13th consecutive day that my group has met for FYP. hahahahas. as much as i dread hearing "FYP" now, i am learning how to embrace this thingyy which i know i can never run away from. like what HB said, one's perserverance can be determined by how u pull thru ur research project, cos its a long and ardous journey.

ps jeff's sermon was apt as well. his sharing always speaks to the heart.

and today. was planning to return home str aft DMM. upon reaching tpy central, i just felt like taking the other direction instead. and walked to tpy stadium- a plc i hav not really stepped into for really long.

and i m so glad i took this move. walked up to the highest step and found a nice comfortable spot and just sat there.

i cant help but am really appreciative of the time there! (: i felt as though i was having a field trip out with Him.

i saw a particular family having fun tog. a mum was playing poison ball with her 2 young daughters. and all the laughter and chuckles made me laughed too.

and the 2 little sisters competed with each other and climbed all the way up to where i was sitting. and i can't help but gave em 2 a broad broad grin. arhhhh. really a child-like grin. (:

and i saw 2 old men jogging. and jogging. and jogging. non-stop. my, their stamina. their endurance. their sweat-it-out spirit.

i love the stadium in the evening. what a wonderful spot to just sit, feel the breeze, plug in worhship, read a good book, look at others, and journal ur thoughts.

away from the "to-do-list".

was reading tuesdays with morrie. ironically, my first time reading it. i have been seeing it on the bestseller's list for the past few yrs, but i nv read it.

and now, thanks to xinyi, i have had this opportunity to read it. (:

and it spoke to me, about my life, about my loved ones, about people around me, about my walk with Him.

"...sometimes, you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people to trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too-even when you're in the dark. even when you are falling..."- tuesdays with morrie.

i can't help but gave thanks for those who believed in me. who love me. even in times when i am in the dark, even when i fell, and not just the bright and sunny times. and not just the times when i stood well and healthy.

thanks for giving me such Christ-like love and belief. you guys made a difference in my life. (:

and i fully agree with morrie, that when people place their trust in you, you can feel it. you feel it in your fingers. you feel it in your toes. you feel it in your heart.

or rather, you know it as well. (: i want to be like that.

and shaun's affirmation confirmed that being someone who believes in others is the right thing to do. (: and i will continue to work on that.

sincerity moves. speaking from the bottom of the heart moves. and of course, listening to Him and speaking from the Word moves even more.

shaun shared about luke 6:41. and am comforted after hearing what God spoke to him about this verse.

it made me reflect about certain areas in my life as well.

once u judge someone, u cant possibly love that someone. no way. that's no love.

it really dawned upon me, and made sense to me of the verse in Corinthians, that love is patient and is kind..

does not envy, does not boast and it is not at all proud.

never rude, never self-seeking.

not easily angered, and importantly, keeps no record of wrongs

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres.

sometimes, all you need in life, is just having Him by your side, showering you His Perfect Love.

it's all about Love.

and like what morrie wrote about himself and his best friend Maurie Stein. now Stein was going deaf. and soon Morrie is going to lose his speech to his illness. with one unable to hear, another unable to speak, what would that be like?

"We will hold hands,"Morrie said. "And there'll be a lot of love passing between us..you don't need speech or hearing to feel that."

Jesus, hold my hand.

okiee dokies. NYP4! Finally...the Long Awaited MOMENT...[as u all try to prove the cacto-phobia girl wrong...hahahahhas!] *drumrolls*

1. Water
2. Large Sheet of Polythene
3.A selection of spare clothing
4. Salt Tablets
5. Chocolate
6. Air Maps
7. Small mirror
8. Knife
9. 1st Aid Kit
10. Loaded pistol
11. Cigarette lighter
12. Newspaper
13. Compass
and....
14. TORCH WITH BATTERIES.

sorry hannah. I CAN'T HELP IT BUT TO BOLD IT!! hahahahhaha!

for those who dunno what's happening, more updates later. (:

was really hungry. so cooked a bowl of noodles. at this hr.

was casually talking to jiahui on train today, and we really concluded how fast time ticks. its august already.

in a blink of an eye, i m already in my final yr in occ therapy over at nyp. everything seems just like yesterday.

i can even remember what i wore on first day of school lo.

so many things that i want to jot down here, yet, at the same time, i feel the raunching of the brain without any logical sentences forming within. (:

met up the fyp peeps today! and quoting xy: meeting one another for SEVEN DAYS a week is disgusting la! hahahhas!

but so glad that we finished before time today! (:

and derek flew back to US today. and that really confirmed how fast time flies. am touched by his testimony of how he grew on in the group over at LA.

and had a gd time reading ps jeff's blog.

i dont know where i will go.

but, i know He will be with me wherever He puts me to go.

a pic when derek first left for US. byee bro.


and heres where junting and sharon left for aust last yr. and AGAIN, i have to reiterate how fast time flies...and now... WELCOME BACK! (:
welcome home sharon!

and juntinggg. (:

ruuui's blog makes me feeel all ready for national day. (:

i really lovee the song that's playing on her bloggg. v heartwarming.

why why why. why has time diluted the "heartwarmingness" of the representating songs over the years..

i think its the simple lyrics like that, that makes u all so fuzzy and puts a smile on ur face la. (:

"you make me feel, warm and safe,
to give me hope for brighter day.....

its the little things, that we share,
the love and joy that's in the air,
the children's laughter everywhere,
and all our favourite things...."

(:

the past week had been a time where i start to think abt many things. things and people ard me, my own spiritual walk, vision..and more on.

was sharing to hannah about some of my thoughts. many times, i may walk thru the whole week, not realising some events were really interesting, some events were really learning sessions, some not-so-good events, some wow-its-great events, and some i-really-want-to-thank-you-so-much-God events...

and sometimes, due to the hurried lifestyle, i just walk thru them, and only come to realise the meaning in each and every of the event on Saturday mornings, where i often have time to sit down, eat my brek, and just put aside those daunting deadlines for a while and spend some time with "myself". hahas.

of course, there are times of regrets. and what alan tea shared today was really apt. don't you wish you could turn back the clock, sometimes?

i do.

but at the same time, i know the clock will be left better to move forward. and it really made me feel so loved by Him to know that He wipes away my past.

wiping yesterday, wiping today, wiping tmr in process.

not an excuse to do wrong. but an opportunity to start with a redeemed spirit.

i like the analogy goes. no matter how hard we try to delete information from hard-disks, fragments of it are always possible to be traced back.

but God is generous, He doesnt delete. He gives you a new hard-drive.

i showed hannah this kok kok scrapbook that i bought at popular for 55cents. it contains my random scribblings of whatever is in my brain, anytime, anywhere.

i really don't want to forget thoughts that ran thru my mind before. gd ones, bad ones. whichever one. so as long there's a learning principle behind each in my spiritual walk. i want to catch them before they fly away.

one entry was written on the bus. and handwriting was horrendously horrendous. hahas.

nevertheless, its the thoughts that matters, not the beauty of it. that explains why i bought the 55cent book too.

i hope i can update that kok kok book for long. i m pretty determined.

unusually, in the midst of the hurried lifestyle that i have for the past week, i feel that He is really close.

and i really treasure these times where i am totally immersed in His strength, cos i m so sure its not my own.

i have been thinking about my next yr. so much..so much.

its about time to plan out my journey on.

God, come in. Show me.

wherever and whatever and however it is, i just want to remember:

i will go to where Your voice is,

"and no matter where i'll be, it warms my heart,
to know that You are always here,
for me.."

its the birthday season in the airrrrr!

in a short span of 2 days, invitations were given for 3 parties in this month of august! all 21st. hahahhas. wellwell.

shareen's bro is having his this sat. haha was so comical. shareen called, shaun spoke and said he is the representative for speaking, to invite me for sebestian's birthday. is like whole family business for sebes's 21st! cool that the whole family is involved! (: and sebes has promised to come to church after his taiwan training stint. greaaaaaaaaat!

and glad to hear that shaun's getting fine in youth as well. (: and of cos, shar too!

totally enjoyed the hike with her last sun. though some hiccups here and there, but was a beautiful walk from mc ritchie to bt timah.

past week was a lil crazy. i dun rem quality sleep. nonetheless, i really feel that i always have energy to move on in the day! thank GOD that He sustains me. I can do all things thru Him who gives me strength.

was reading some article and came by this quote. i thought it was really beautiful. here it:

"The trouble with nearly everybody who prays is that he says 'Amen' and runs away before God has a chance to reply. Listening to God is far more important than giving Him your ideas." :- Frank Laubach, Christina Evangelical Missionary (1884-1970)

and yes thanks utan for the really refreshing chat that night! let's move towards to the ending point tog!

loaded the songs that we r going to sing for anniversary into my mp3.

and listened on to the songs.

and as i got on to the song "How great is our God", really couldnt hold it. it just crept out of my eyes.

and i really felt my heart, soul and mind being merged into one, captured. a lot of things just came to my mind, and i cant help but to really adore Him.

so overwhelmed. that i messaged a few people my heart. so overwhelmed, that i surrendered myself to Him in worship. so overwhelmed, that i went on to intercede for some of my closest.

i felt so set free. and so assured. so confident.

Believe that when all else fails, GOD proves faithful. n seriously, what keeps me moving, is Him. and all of you guys.

as i strive on, i am always so moved, when i am reminded that i really really do have a great grp of peeps who love me through His love, invested greatly in me, people who are stubborn for Him, so much so that they will never let me go; to see that I stay on in this race to do more for Him, wherever we may be.

Thank you all. i really love all of you. so much. cos i have really experienced Christ's love through each and every of your lives.

i had no idea why i wanted to go and eat dinner with you utan, despite it being a short half hr like u said. but m glad i did.

i had no idea why i just had the urge to stop at city hall station, where i had not much of reason to. i didnt even know why. was late. shops were going to close. but somehow, strangely, i just thought i should stop to get some pressies for a few ppl.

but i now know why i alighted. jean called me excitedly soon after. (: she saw junting and sharon with the ex usm brothers that they both used to lead.

i m so sure it can't be coincidence. and its not impt if it is or not. (: i m just thankful for this divine meet-up.

juns and shars shared their experiences and their ministry over at australia for the past yr in Hope Sydney. and shars the OT is going to start work soon at Alexandra Hospital, while juns the RT is going to serve her bond as well at NUH. so happy for them. (:

also, caught up with the rest of the usm peeps. many of them are starting sch soon. bo's going nus; xuan, enghow, hongyao should be starting nx wk at ntu; poor jo is alone in smoooo; with derek flying back to US soon in aug. and like how xuan aptly puts it, a time together like this often reflects how far and how long we have moved tog.

i totally agree. (:

to you all: thanks. yawl made a huge difference in my life. (:

listening: You are Holy
"...I'll sing your praises forever
Deeper in love with You
Here in Your courts
Where I'm close to Your throne
I found where I belong...."