toblerones with carols. loves.

"Christmas will remain, purely and simply, a time for remembering the greatest gift that has been given."- Corrinne.may[The Gift].

this year's christmas meant quite a lot of things to me. (:

for one, this is my 5th Christ-mas.

during the countdown gathering 2 days ago, did some ice-breaking thingyy. had the group to ask 1 other person, these 4 questions.

1. What was previous Christmas experience like?
2. What are your goals and plans for Year 2007?
3. What is your Christmas wish? ((:
4. What is the best gift that you have received so far?

as i was on the bus back with celest that day, i pondered over these qns as well.

brought about a tinge of excitement, at the same time, lots of thanksgiving to the Lord, for where i am today.

had a really blessed and wonderful time carolling with the bros and sis! liyan and cady led one grp, while i led the other. and i was stunned when i realised how "manly" our group were! with the gusto sound of men.for some sweet carols! (:

but boy, i love their spirit! they sang their very best. and blessed were we when we received the offerings! for church building fund. had a great time w these peeps.

i thank the Lord for my spiritual journey. the many whom i have shared my life w, you are treasured.

and for those that i am sharing my life with, i treasure this opportunity to grow tog with all o u.

random: its been really really long, since i last felt this way. shoooo emo. in, His peace.

and one of my fav songs in the album. enjoy. (:

blessed christmas.

the rain continued for the whole day.

sometimes, walking along the roads on rainy days can be quite a nice thing to do. w umbrella that is. and a huge one.:))

i loved the walks in the rain today, with my huge AH umbrella all for myself.

i love times alone like this at times. gives me the whole world of time to sort thru things within me, and to sing to the Lord. hahas. cos likely, you r pretty much alone on the pavements; everyone's in bus or shelters in such heavy rain. :)

so nice. so much space. to breathe and think.

so many things to give thanks to u Lord.. God, i never really dared imagine, how i ll be like, without u in my life, seriously.

thanks Lord, for being there for me always, like tonight. :))

making+writing on cards is a therapeutic activity. :)

coupled with good music.

i love this part about Christmas, where i start to write my greetings and appreciation of that person.

it helps me to recall of how much i have gone through with that person. and it helps me to give thanks to the Lord for the person's life as well.

of cos, the hand muscles starts to show signs of fatigue. hahas. it shows in the cutting, pasting and even handwriting. hurhur.

cup of hot milk and off to snooze. the weather's like cold ah. :))

merryy merry christmas, in advance. :)

drizzles.

and cant get to sleep. once more. :)

this week had been of sleepless nights. feeling the excitement of christmas. i smell christmas. i hear, see and even taste about christmas (that is, the candy canes. ;))

and i guess, its also the racing thoughts that i have in my brain, tt's keeping me awake as well.

havent been updating. but life was fruitful for the past few wks. :)) so much to share, but didnt really have the opportunity to jot the thots down.

u know, i seem to learn a different side of myself within the past few weeks. and i really sense this renewal in my heart as i continue to serve the Lord with the team.

and i was totally awed, and really amazed, and really thankful to the Lord for His faithfulness. :)) my ever, dearest faithful Father.

thanksgiving for the week, and no greater Christmas gifts than these: 4 salvations, who will eternally be with us in Heaven!

15 Dec: Kaisze came to know the Lord through the phone with Shar! in cuppage girls washroom. i was having WKS briefing when shar told me abt kaisze wanting to received Christ. i was really overwhelmed tt i couldnt concentrate on the briefing anymore, and ran to join Shar. PTL!

16 Dec: Wenxin was really open to share abt her hurts, and glad she rededicated her life to Jesus again! :)) enjoyed sharing with her over dinner after svc; a girl with this sweetness in her, and her sincerity in wanting to serve the Lord.

17 Dec night: was on msn. and Deb told me about her bro Dexter, asking her some questions of life. recalled sharing with Deb on sat night after svc online in response to what she asked me; nothing is ever too late for God; is all about the willingness, and obedience to the Lord. And deb being deb, she ll always do the deliberate and intentional to obey the Lord, eventually. Obedience is the key. :))

and the Lord honours her heart! Dexter received Christ at his own home! Praise the Lord! we all know how hardened Dex was in the past. but with faithful prayers and fasting, all things are possible as He hears our cries! :))

18 Dec noon: received a call fr shar after i sent out msgs to encourage the team for the harvest ahead. thought that shar wanted to clarify some stuff with regards to svc this sat. never did i imagine it to be a sharing of Huifen's conversion during attachment!

These experiences proved to me: Salvation, anytime, anywhere. For God is everywhere, everytime. :))

Father, i thank You for listening to each of my whispered prayers. i thank You, for knowing my heart's deepest, where sometimes i get confused as well, but You know my needs and wants; and i thank You for Your faithfulness in my life.

Thank You for Your faithfulness to my team. The cheer of salvations were booster prior to the Christmas service. I am so thankful for this important lesson that You have taught me and my team during this period: Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Cliche? maybe. To me, its vivid.

It's God's demonstration of His outrageous love to me. I know it. He knows my fears, my strongholds, my innermost thoughts, and He chose to reassure me and gave me encouragement during this period of time.

what greater Love than this?

More to come. Soaked in His Blessings as we soak in Prayers!

have been taking time this week to spend with the Lord, and also with people. with Mum and sis to Garden Festival on mon. busked in the beautiful sights of flowersssss. took gazillion photos! upload soon.

i really really had a good time that day. was so uplifted! i feel like going again! flowers flowers!

You cant help but once again, be in awe of God's creativity and cheer..of the creation of these greens and colours. :)

random: i cant figure out some stuff. and i think i never will. and i think its not important to figure em out. i shall just walk on, and keep my steps close with Him, and trust in You and not myself.

just like this song- i need to be next to You.

no one else. :))

i really love this life i share with You.

nights world.

was obviously disappointed when i saw the sms in the wee hours of the night.

cant help but checked online with a little weight on my heart.

Nevertheless, gathered my energy to view the overalls online.

turned out to be alright! hahas. what i screwed was behavioural science. ?????? phewwwww! not as if i improve much, but seriously, thank you LORD! muacks! :)

learnt: sometimes, things are not what it seems. move on and take the complete picture, and u ll be surprised.

thanks Father. for watching over me always.

being vulnerable and allowing God to take care of you is not really tt easy. :)

but it can be done.

had a good time talking to a few people today..like liyan, deborah. appreciate these times.

btw, if anyone wants to relive singapore workout, drop by a particular sec sch in woodlands and catch me in red and white. doing this exercise for the elderly. a joint collaboration with the police of woodlands. hahas. plus educating the public abt wheelchair transfers etc.

k the chinese version of singapore workout is ringing in my head........

Jesus

1. went,
2. saw, and
3. had compassion.

i desire to be like Him. i want to go, see, and have compassion.

indeed, sometimes its hard to go although instructions are clear, but the purpose is unknown. i love the sermon shared yesterday. spoke right into me.

the Holy Spirit can only use us to our level of obedience.

be Philip. (Acts 8:26-40). be everyready to obey the Holy Spirit.

C.o.m.p.a.s.s.i.o.n for His flock.
P.a.s.s.i.o.n for Him.

don't miss it!

something that Jasmine shared during service today hit me. incremental vs exponential growth. and it was really a great time of prayer and worship together as a church.

desire exponential growth!

"..to think that the universe
could not withold your glory
You choose to live in me..
I'm so amazed..

...and i..
worship you Lord,
My life in You restored..
Here is my heart
make it Your santuary
for nobody else,
but Jesus
Only YOU..

Only You
are faithful and true
Glorious GOD
All my life
It is You
I adore
You touched my soul
Completed my world..
I surrender to You..."

worshipping. and am ministered.

3 things i shared with my girls, out of the overflow of my heart. and will want to continue to grow in them, tog with my cg.

stamina in prayer. offer ears of listening. countenance.

Lord, thank You. for your faithfulness, real-ness, and most importantly, love.

to update..some pics.

birthday with cg. 25oct2006-bishan j8. in my stinko training gear. ;)

the surprise birthday shout. song. cake cutting.















the funny things u receive on your 21st awes u. ;)














my life. :)















miao bought this. she says this tortise reminds her of me cos me n it look alike? do we? hahas.
















dmm with coreteam! nyp 100!

















had a really exciting time over the past 2 weeks. but never had the opportunity to jot my tots down. some significant ones!

celebrated dad's birthday! he is exactly 36 years older than me. always love him very much. admire his character, his love for the family, and his sacrificial attitude towards the people around him. one of the dearest ppl whom i want to model after.

blessed birthday cai papa. :) glad to share the birthday celebration with you and family over the steamboat.

another highlight: the Poly-ITE tournaments have finally come to a closure. am deeply blessed by the presence of those who came down to support! ace- my o-ye-faithful supporter; keng loo; utan; karryn; huijing and nemo. really appreciate it!

and all glory to the Lord! the girls finished with silver, and the guys a champ! :)

thanks to my team as well: stella, shermeen, xiao wei, xuemin, fishcake and peixin who made all these possible.

let's work towards IVP!

i am really looking forward to the upcoming Christmas. feeling the christmas cheer around the corner. 100 percent man's effort coupled with 100percent God. let me be the vessel Lord.

witness the water baptism of brothers and sisters over the last weekend as well! its always the joyous occasion to see the church bros and sis to take this step to proclaim their faith. :)

the dinner with nemo and ace after comps! :) wheeee! and 32 bucks for 3min consultation with the doc. hahahhahas.

a time of mini celebration for cindy ytd! i really appreciate the cg. really do. glad to have all of u to do His work with me. was simply great to have the opportunity to bless this dear girl. :)

yuhan too. the phone call till 6am was a great time of sharing. thanks. :)

spent great time with ace and joel at vivo today. thanks. really haven had a time to watch a gd movie after so long! and also ace's fren tony who joined us for a while and cracked all of us up.

glad i took the bus ace. or i will not have the opportunity to air my thoughts. and thanks for praying for me. truly appreciate.

all in all. i am really touched. i dont know why, but i really see how God truly loves me as His child, that He always protects, always love, always teach and guide me and my family in Christ.

the worship ytd "I'm Forever Yours" by planet shakers stir within me deeply.

"..trust in You and not myself..

will always lead to blessing..

Lord have Your way in me..

Not my will, but Yours be done..

..here i stand within Your Presence longing for Your touch..

a thousand days cannot compare to one day in Your courts..

Hold me now, and never ever let me go..

My Jesus, My precious Saviour..

I'm forever yours......"

:)

i love u, nyp4.

they simply rock. haha creative, wacky, energetic bunch of people! ace and abi too!

a great surprise and wonderful time spent with all of u.

and that's besides the broom, and yeah, yuhan's bolster. ;)

and really appreciate all who sent their birthday wishes! and even derek who emailed me his greetings fr california! touched!

to all who called too, i m blessed by the calls. :)

and to you who did not call, finally, i think it really marks some closure. :) and amazingly, i m glad.

i am blessed. more than anything that i can ask for, from this church family of love.

meetup with shareen was simply wonderful. it totally added strength to me. He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed! shared with each other about 'FAITH factor'.

we don't just need God. we want God! :)

picture Jesus as your friend.

You don't only need a friend in bad times, isn't it? would'nt you love to share your best times with your friend as well? in fact, its the time spend during the good days that lays the foundation of bad times.

So give your best to Jesus; best time, best finance, best attitude, and more.

we all need somebody, to lean on. :) let the somebody be J.e.s.u.s.

thanks utan, carrie, jason, bo, enghow, xuan, hongyao, joseph for the surprise today! touches my heart deeply.

and jieyun, junting and sharon who sent their apologies for not able to be there.

though simple, but simply overwhelmed by how much u guys embrace me and showered me with prayers.

love u all. :)

had a lovely night today! though the day started off really bad, but it was a refreshing time of talking to people one by one!

and seriously, learnt about getting up when i thought i am feeling down.

many things hit some of the girls in my grp. hannah's dad, cady's grand-dad, shareen's bro. uphold them in prayers.

i m really proud of these girls. with Christ in the vessel, they really smiled at the storm.

and i absolutely love the times spent with many people! had a great time spending time with ace at macs(AGAIN) and once again, my spirit is always so uplifted by her outstanding spirit!

thanks for blessing me with the notes, and the apple strudz, and the book, and the joyful spirit! the extra mile reflects Christ's love!

the people i love, and whom i appreciate very very much:
dmm~
















and my dearies at soo kaili's birthday celebration!















And IVAN RECEIVED HIM INTO HIS LIFE! praise God! so blessed by his sharing!

received an email fr shaun. the girl's:



















and the guys team.



















saw shaun online last week. and he shared that comps were around the corner.

and i went, hmm yeah. i recalled. yeah, january. yeah. that's fast. and that reminded me like that's almost 9 months i last attended training proper.

not as if the last time round of comps i went for intense training, but i did recall at least getting the 'feel' back 2 wks prior comps.

and to my horror of horrors, shaun responded to my when's comp with....

"Oh! end of this month and beginning of nov."

wow. what kind news.

and i was oh-so-tempted to request to drop out of the team.

but as i wait for a second, i kind of made sense of the situation. :) God you are indeed faithful! You never fail to answer prayers!

4 new year ones on board the team this yr! :)

i ll give my best to this comps. with a different spirit and perspective.

not winning medals. but winning souls. yes and amen!

just hung up the phone with shareen. so blessed, i can't contain it. I ve learnt something after the past few weeks till today: Let Go, and Let God.

the tighter i hold my fist, the harder to allow God to open my hand and hold it.

know something, its been ages since i ve had such revival within me. and i am claiming His promises one by one.

I put down by faith on my leadership goals a name, who is a non-believer. kai sze. :)

and amen, she responded to join us for service this wk! and hazel initiated to meet shar this fri!

something i learnt: intercede. stand in the gap. pray faithfully.

oh my gosh. really, so excited!

and sebas too. after meeting up shaun and shar, had a long long chat with him on the train whilst i was going to cady's hse for miaozhi's birthday celebration on sunday night.

exercising our spiritual muscles. yes! sebas, believe that heart knowledge and hard knowledge can come hand in hand! :)

and was really blessed by ace and abi's presence in our cg today! added strength and learnt loads from them! hahhas. and a great time of dinner with deb and ace. got to know ace deeper.

i see something in her. and that, i want to learn from her. ace is someone who is very consistent. and someone who gives her maximum energy in every task, not an ounce lesser for any.

and when i asked her and told her so, she responded that its cos she is doing something that she enjoys. :)

and yes, i can see it through her life. hope u ve had a good time, ace. :) cos i did.

caregroup was abt Growth. Ps Jeff shared, to grow, we must make intentional efforts. yes, i believe and m convicted of so.

saw yy online! she's in curtin now taking occ therapy! omg! n she suggested getting a hse with her friend too if i m really gg over! someone that i can depend on to share with me the culture of school and modules. great! :)

and something funny happened today. he called me and asked if i was in ntu, cos he thought he saw someone that resemble me in ntu.

hahas. o wells. imagine, its almost 5years, and honestly, he calls only once per year (on my birthday to wish me). so seeing his number today really caught me by surprise.

i wouldnt deny that upon putting down the phone, i wondered how is he getting along and stuff, but once again, briefly. i have moved on. :)

i was reminded of how he persistently shared Christ and never failed to pray for me everyday. and i was indifferent then.

how badly he wanted me to go with him into a missionary jc to experience the unity and community of Christians, but i chose a jc nearer my place instead.

how we used human logical understanding to think that being in a christian environment raise opportunities of knowing God, but God proved that He is everywhere and anywhere. :)

I knew Him, right smack in jc. not the missionary jc. but a place where i thought the opportunities of hearing about God was zilch. :)

and m glad we both moved on. still friends, but prolly a call-once-a-year friend. heard he is doing well and in SCA's ntu crick team with all his sec sch buds.

thank you, for sharing about Him to me. and how HE proved that everything is best in His time. :)

wishing and praying that you are well. take care friend.

God Is Everywhere
When you search for God today
He can be found in a brief while
You will find Him in a child
He is with you in every trial.

You will see our God everywhere
He is in teens and aged ones too
He is in a quiet mirrored stream
There in a sunrise with day so new.

God is there in the evening sunset
There in a gentle breeze that blows
He is in every beautiful rainbow
There when every blessing overflows.

God is there in every fierce storm
He is there in a precious smile
He is there in every bird and flower
With you in every treacherous mile.

God is there to hear every prayer
He is with you in every weary sigh
Always with you in times of sorrow
He's there when you question "why."

God is in every kindness that's given
There as families and friends share
He is there in a soft, gentle snowflake
God is with you and He is with me...
God is Everywhere!

-Leona I. Miller

its You i live for, everyday. :)

thanksgiving.

first to you Daddy in Heaven. thanks for holding me in Your hands for the past weeks, and the weeks to come.

next, my Daddy on earth. You are the greatest dad that i can ever ask for. I am truly touched by the gesture of his unconditional love. who always want the best for his children and never himself. thanks for blessing me, sis and ma so much.

to the buds and friends who have encouraged me along the way. wheeeee. i really love all of u guys. deep down in my heart. and thanks JK and elain for your messages to ask me hows my first day in clinicals! fyp made much more bearable and motivating during clinicals!

and happy birthday miaozhi! a fantastic gathering with the team yesterday! steamboat with great food and great fellowship!

had a great time with yuhan just now!

a commitment, a covenant. We can do it girl! ;)

GROWTH.

had an uber long long day ytd.

until i tot i was going to raise white flag to fatigue.

but was truly refreshed by people and happenings.

and i learnt that u dont need a positive thing to make u grow and give thanks.

the true essence is always to give thanks in the toughest and lowest times.

will u still give thanks?

i hope i will, and i want to create within me such a heart that ll be forever grateful.

watched "remember the titans". it was awesome. awesome awesome.

beautiful game of amer football.

the coming week is literally going to be a battlefield for me.

exams every single day, full-fletched papers.

Lord, i desire to thrive, not survive.

thank you for sustaining and strengthening me each day.

off for dmm. ciaos. (:

just put down the phone. had a shower.

sometimes, you know things are not mere coincidences. God uses you in His most unique manner, the way He knows best. Beyond what we can conceive and fathom.

I know, they are safe in His hands. I shall just do my humanly possible; and let God do the humanly impossible.

Pouring your life to nourish others in Christ, every moment. On board? (:

I know, God will make a way in all situations and circumstances. Thou its hard to see the end of the tunnel sometimes, but He just need us to trust Him and travel with Him through the tunnel, cos ultimately, we already know that there will be light at the end, eventually.

Faith to move on despite the overwhelming unknown.

"God will make a way,
when there seems to be no way,
He works in ways
We cannot see
He will make a way for me...

He will be my guide
Draw me closely to His side
With Love and Strength
For each new day
He will make a way...
He will make a way..."

essentially went for half a day of 3D2N leadership camp. hahas. so that's one meal of dinner, and one finale game.

and honestly, i thought that's what i am going to be having only! as i had missed out a whole load of powerful teachings, response and worship!

but man, was i so wrong. (:

the night that followed and the next day of clearing up was a reflection and learning experience of what leadership means to me.

i recall feeling a little lost after the games, cos that marked the end of the leadership camp technically speaking, and hey, i barely warmed my feet there for like 3 hours. hahas.

nevertheless, it made me learn that it's all about how you create learning experiences out of the seemingly nothing.

thank God for weihong 'forgetting' to retrieve his so-called-rubbish mark and spencer's plastic bag filled with his valuables. hahas. and i went sticking my head out of chalet looking for him to return them. and glad this sparked off a time where we just stood outside together with evan for a long time talking about sowing; the suitable atmosphere to create, the questions that a seeker may ask et cetera et cetera. great time of learning just simply by standing at the steps of fairy point 4. hahas

o wells. and we decided to take a seat. liyan soon joined us. windez and andrew too. and the things that we talked about soon translated to vision, bringing family to know Christ and much more. was a time of learning and sharing.

spent good time with shareen as well. looked for her at her room and man, she was bathing at 4+ am. hahas. i can see her heartbeat and her conviction about certain issues. and we have concluded tog, that this brought about a deep meaning of 'leadership' to her. i pray that with these learnings, it will translate to her being a powerful leader for Christ. she can and she will.

the next day of clearing up led me to witness the good-spiritedness of people! i was exceptionally amazed by windez and shareen, at how they handled the whole check out 'saga' per se. hahas. faithfully and without complaints, they went down the hill and up the hill and down the hill to the office again, to put the admin issues in place, to bring home lots of lost and found, to ensure the place is spick and span to reduce the burden of the cleaning workers. and i m so thankful for people like them who willingly took on these roles and responsibility to ensure things are in place.

and that's what i truly deem as servant-leadership. to lead through service of people.

i am thankful for alvin as well, who faithfully drove everyone of us thru, helping thru the checkout process, carrying the items, sending them to respective places et cetera. i can't imagine the day without him! a task that can easily be taken for granted, but he portrayed willingness to help admist tiredness. thank God for u bro.

and shar was so cute, she actually went out to find a cleaning auntie and her son and had them come to the chalet after clearing up. and i was thinking why.

only to realise that she had packed the unfinished and unused items nicely- syrup, fruits, eggs, milk (and more which i can't remember) for the lady to collect, with the help of her son. and as i was making milo in the kitchen, all i could hear was the profuse thank-yous and gratefulness that the lady kept offering. and the son too. from a distance, i saw the sparkle of joy in their eyes. not exaggerating, but yes, thats how much they were deeply appreciative of the blessings.

and this malay lady actually asked where was shar from. shar chirpyly replied that we had just ended a church leadership camp that lasted for the past 2 days. and the malay lady thanked her profusely again before ending with a "you all are very nice people."

and once again, its a reflection of how blessed it is to give than receive, and especially to people beyond the church.

after all the procedures, had a hearty lunch with shar, alvin and windez at pasir ris mac before we started the journey to shar's hse and her sch to unload all the equipment.

though physically tired at the end of the day, the spirit of the people refreshed me. and i am very blessed by the joy in service by people and the fellowship. great time, great people of God, who led thru example.

this is one unique and unforgettable leadership camp that i have experienced. (:

mind in a whirlpool.

i know that there will always be sunshine after the rain.

yes, a rainbow that is.

His Promises never fails.

and i want to hold on to 'em.

His strength and grace shall abound. everyday and forever more.

thanks shuyi, jitsy and sihui for the really sweet tot of fizzy fish and animal biscuits to perk me up for revision! really v blessed by this act of love despite just knowing i hav exams like a while ago. wow.

and also shareen. thanks for ur prayers. it indeed work wonders in the o-so-stressed-up me.

looking forward to join em all at leadership training camp. (:

back to revision. (:

History Maker was..awesome. (:

more about that later. when pics are up. (: meanwhile, chanced upon this pic. (:

20 amino acid structures?!!? says:
her ministry and studies will glorify ur name.. I also pray for strength from U to fill her every new day as she wakes up from her bed.. i pray that she'll not rely on her own strength to do all these cos we are just so limited as humans, but as Ur children seek U and draw strength from You.. and in all these know that our work in the Lord will not be in vain and its the most worthy investment to make..

20 amino acid structures?!!? says:
Lord, i also want to pray for Joy in her life as she does her ministry, school work and anything that she sets her heart to do.. i pray for joy to be so abounding in her heart that it overflows to her ppl around her that indeed when ppl see, they will sing with us 'How Great is our God'..

20 amino acid structures?!!? says:
really wanna commit this sister into Ur hands, may You protect her and keep her under ur Wings daily, hourly, every minute and every second.. thank U, God for this sister's heart to serve and be excellent in ur name! Give U thanks in advance, Father.. In Jesus Name, Amen!!!

a prayer from a friend over msn.

the best gift you can give anyone, is a prayer.

thanks my friend.

When The Winds Are Strong

If your life is windy these days-
winds of change, winds of adversity,
or may the constant winds of demands and expectations
that leave you feeling, well...
windblown-take heart.
As my mother used to say,
"The roots grow deep when the winds are strong."

- Charles R. Swindoll

sil's party on sat! theme: Send in the cows! (:
pretty cows drawn!




















the birthday girl. (: 21st!!















sil with the ponkard fam. hahas. with the penguin dispenser, cow box, cow bookmark and the cow soft toys.














had a gd time. (:

trying to keep the post short. cos brain's beckoning me to rest.

choir tmr! excited. (: i always look forward to the pracs. v refreshing and strengthening time of praise and worship for all of us after a long day. ironic? yeah. the power of singing unto Him. (:

lots happened last week. helping out at zoo hunt was a terrific time with the kids!

and an amazing discovery found.

andrew is actually from church! he is in the kids ministry! yes! teacher andrew! the ot sup. i cant believe it, until i saw him on stage with my very own eyes!

was very heartened. (: bet he was shocked to see me as well.

and on fri, had a gd dinner w deb and we were blessed with some free gelato of this new opening of a gelato shop- Haato at serang gardens! wheeee!

and had a gd chat with a pri sch friend online whom i ve nv kept in contact for the past decade or so. hahas. recollections of pri sch times. (:

and i nv knew i had a weird habit of rolling my eyes whenever i am thinking when i was in pri school. i bet i didnt know. hahas.

i know its going to be a wonderful week ahead. 6 days countdown to church anniversary. amazing.

thanks for holding my world all this while, Jesus. thanks.

For Play and School module. on 22 Aug at a childcare centre with the Nursery 2 children! (:

circle time! the sing-a-long! Hello song!















elisa and clare teaching the kids the steps to making a great cookie!














eh...........hahahas. holding 2 M & Ms. hurhur














the chocos and rainbow rice! for the kids to deco their cookies!




















classic pic of elisa and the adorable!














the cute animals! for making the party hat. (:














making the hat with the kids! and me and ryan finished ours first, with pleased looks on our faces! a wonderful time with the young ones. (:

...sometimes, i think i need to do something non-cerebral.

to just space out and allow the scrunchy thing up in the head to rest for a while.

and make the red little fist like thingy on the left side of chest pump harder...

cause', life's definitely more than this.

attended Jason's convo ytd. w sharon, carrie, woeilong, yeuann and new faces like maureen and edwin. (: wenjiang,marcus and jan joined soon after. took pics at the fondly remembered spots of SIM where we prayed tog and had cg tog.

had a good good good time with regg ytd. hurhur. time tog eating subway; visiting cathay's ben n jerry's and walking down city hall, find butts in ACTS. bumped into karr, utan n cindy in ACTS! hahas.

i love times like this. and this is what i deem as non-cerebral but much-cardio activity. (:

The birthday season's in the air.
picture speaks a thousand words. here goes..

xin yi's 21st- 09 August @ her place.
the otties!















i love the little ones in her household! super uber full of energy!












like this one on the swiiinnnggg!!













particularly love the girl and the little boy in front of xin yi. super high energy!














the key! (:













and now, rui's 21st. @ MOS 25Aug2006.



the encouraging otties of class that turned up!












and not forgetting i pulled utan along too! (;

..and posed for ceyu's cam. hahas.

xinyi, ceyu, ming. and ming was saying how jon kept reminding her to keep the wedding ring on! (:














and the birthday girl- lee rui rui. (: high in spirts. literally. hahas.





































and a class group shot. with jean in it. (:













third one! was cai ma ma's birthday on 30th Aug!

happy birthday cai ma ma! (:

and age was a secret... so a candle should suffice. (:

presenting cai ma ma.. (: with her birthday cakeee and purple tulip.

and the way she made her wish was quite cute la. hahas.

and thou' i seldom verbalise it.

i love u loads, mum. happy birthday.

i need a rest.

to rest and move on.

I will lie down and sleep in peace,for you alone, O LORD,make me dwell in safety.-Psalm 4:8

now back for a third time. and the final one before i really pop my head to sleep. but i think i am pretty hyped up.

maybe is the country radio on pandora now that i have just changed to.

or i am feeling a little high trying to start working out the months ahead.

don't ask me why. but i m pretty excited abt year 2007.

yeah i know. 2006 is still in the running. hahas.

but as i zoom thru the future months, i know there will be a lot of decision making to come.

and trust me, i hate decision making. peel me off bit by bit, i am not born a decision maker.

but often times, i realised the importance of decision making, and not just that, accurate and non-biased decision making.

i nv really played with the idea of going away to study for quite some time. and now as i m in my final yr here, this idea seems to be calling me back.

i welcome that idea. and i am giving this idea more attention now.

and i know how much repurcussions it will bring if i really turn this idea to reality. good and bad ones.

its not just about me alone; there are many people, many areas, many things which i have to pass thru my brain, heart and mind for "clearance".

one thing for sure, it affects the way i go in terms of my ministry. and one thing for sure, i must know that my folks are ready for it.

and got to chat with mum about it that night. and sounded pretty supportive.

but of course, as sis advised, i better then demonstrate in actions besides speech that i am serious about each and every of my decisions, and that i know what i am doing.

i better start earning my keeps. which my sis and i all know, is not sufficient if i start now anyway. hahas.

but i fully agree with sis. and seldom i do. hahahas!

that its often the thought and action that counts, to my folks at least. the physical action of demonstrating that you are doing something about it is enough. the product (i.e the amount of money earned) doesnt matter.

i know whatever the outcome may be, He wants the best for me, my family, my friends, and my fellow servants in Christ.

and to where i may be fully used by Him.

we'll see where i may go.

imagine with me, what i may be doing in where i may be in one year's time. (:

time to dream. nights world. (;

i totally adore this website that sis has recommended me.

pandora.com.

i m so thankful for having the free flow of songs that accompany me thru the night as i do my work.

so random, so shuffled. and they play your preferred genre of songs without playing the songs of the artiste that you typed in.

i love the corrs. and the genre that pandora found for me was extremely pleasing to the ears. (:

like wow. hahas.

and made me revisit a few songs that i used to listen so much to, but lost touch of em.

listening to A New Day has Come-Celine Dion.

and best part? there's praise and worship too. (:

and i have since concluded: i love pandora, cos i never know what's next.

cheap thrill? maybe. hahas. but i love random.

like now. random entry. k back to work. sensory integrative approach.....

just did up a short write up for a YouthDNA mini proj.

coolios. something is coming. yeah. expect and anticipate! (:

and guess what, its 3.35am. and i am so fully wide awake.

know why? cos the very brainless mx went off to snooze the moment i step into the house at 6.35pm in the evening cos i was almost dying of fatigue.

and the very same brainless mx DID NOT set an alarm due to, malfunctioning of the brain and inability to plan?

and so, result?

woke up at a wonderful time of 11.15pm.

claps.

this is really not good. my body shouldnt be taking the responsibility of these poor timing.

so understand why i m still up?

k. off to do my play+school research. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

really. its a mixed feeling abt school work. grrr.

once again, a week's over. a brand new one starting within hours.

time flies. before my very eyes.

and its a week to my break week. i dont know if its break week, or our break-down week. hahas. much work. fast time.

but nevertheless, i think i m embracing it, and trying to see them thru His eyes. (:

if i m put thru it, i know i can pull thru it. i trust Him to hold the world for me.

of cos, i am forever thankful for the many events that happen in each and every day of my life! good or bad, i know they happen for a reason and purpose, always. (;

mon- had choir prac instead of usual tues. i always look forward to 'em. cos worship always refreshes me. and made a new friend, Haah (i dont know how to spell! but it's pronounce as 'Hi' hahas. ) i love her presence. she's a vietnamese in adults ministry. She got this super duper smiley face that warms me each time i see her. looking tough on the outside but gentle in spirit, and in voice too. (:

tues- met hannah! refreshed time of sharing and learning.

wed- yuhan n me @ essentialbrews. the plc was really packed. a bit of disappointment actually as i wanted a quiet and nice chill-out place for us. hahas. but though it was really busy, its the company that matters. (:

somethings also occurred to shaun. n i m really thankful for shareen's big heart for her bro. and also, i m reallly thankful to our Daddy for watching over him, always.

thurs- cg. had the cg to do an activity! hahas. o wells. think they nearly tore one another's hair out.

fri- stay-over at shera's hall w utan! woohoo! had prataaa, late night walks, and some nice chats at night. thanks shera. my bud for life. thanks utan. let's live it out tog. (:

sat- it marks the 13th consecutive day that my group has met for FYP. hahahahas. as much as i dread hearing "FYP" now, i am learning how to embrace this thingyy which i know i can never run away from. like what HB said, one's perserverance can be determined by how u pull thru ur research project, cos its a long and ardous journey.

ps jeff's sermon was apt as well. his sharing always speaks to the heart.

and today. was planning to return home str aft DMM. upon reaching tpy central, i just felt like taking the other direction instead. and walked to tpy stadium- a plc i hav not really stepped into for really long.

and i m so glad i took this move. walked up to the highest step and found a nice comfortable spot and just sat there.

i cant help but am really appreciative of the time there! (: i felt as though i was having a field trip out with Him.

i saw a particular family having fun tog. a mum was playing poison ball with her 2 young daughters. and all the laughter and chuckles made me laughed too.

and the 2 little sisters competed with each other and climbed all the way up to where i was sitting. and i can't help but gave em 2 a broad broad grin. arhhhh. really a child-like grin. (:

and i saw 2 old men jogging. and jogging. and jogging. non-stop. my, their stamina. their endurance. their sweat-it-out spirit.

i love the stadium in the evening. what a wonderful spot to just sit, feel the breeze, plug in worhship, read a good book, look at others, and journal ur thoughts.

away from the "to-do-list".

was reading tuesdays with morrie. ironically, my first time reading it. i have been seeing it on the bestseller's list for the past few yrs, but i nv read it.

and now, thanks to xinyi, i have had this opportunity to read it. (:

and it spoke to me, about my life, about my loved ones, about people around me, about my walk with Him.

"...sometimes, you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people to trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too-even when you're in the dark. even when you are falling..."- tuesdays with morrie.

i can't help but gave thanks for those who believed in me. who love me. even in times when i am in the dark, even when i fell, and not just the bright and sunny times. and not just the times when i stood well and healthy.

thanks for giving me such Christ-like love and belief. you guys made a difference in my life. (:

and i fully agree with morrie, that when people place their trust in you, you can feel it. you feel it in your fingers. you feel it in your toes. you feel it in your heart.

or rather, you know it as well. (: i want to be like that.

and shaun's affirmation confirmed that being someone who believes in others is the right thing to do. (: and i will continue to work on that.

sincerity moves. speaking from the bottom of the heart moves. and of course, listening to Him and speaking from the Word moves even more.

shaun shared about luke 6:41. and am comforted after hearing what God spoke to him about this verse.

it made me reflect about certain areas in my life as well.

once u judge someone, u cant possibly love that someone. no way. that's no love.

it really dawned upon me, and made sense to me of the verse in Corinthians, that love is patient and is kind..

does not envy, does not boast and it is not at all proud.

never rude, never self-seeking.

not easily angered, and importantly, keeps no record of wrongs

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres.

sometimes, all you need in life, is just having Him by your side, showering you His Perfect Love.

it's all about Love.

and like what morrie wrote about himself and his best friend Maurie Stein. now Stein was going deaf. and soon Morrie is going to lose his speech to his illness. with one unable to hear, another unable to speak, what would that be like?

"We will hold hands,"Morrie said. "And there'll be a lot of love passing between us..you don't need speech or hearing to feel that."

Jesus, hold my hand.

okiee dokies. NYP4! Finally...the Long Awaited MOMENT...[as u all try to prove the cacto-phobia girl wrong...hahahahhas!] *drumrolls*

1. Water
2. Large Sheet of Polythene
3.A selection of spare clothing
4. Salt Tablets
5. Chocolate
6. Air Maps
7. Small mirror
8. Knife
9. 1st Aid Kit
10. Loaded pistol
11. Cigarette lighter
12. Newspaper
13. Compass
and....
14. TORCH WITH BATTERIES.

sorry hannah. I CAN'T HELP IT BUT TO BOLD IT!! hahahahhaha!

for those who dunno what's happening, more updates later. (:

was really hungry. so cooked a bowl of noodles. at this hr.

was casually talking to jiahui on train today, and we really concluded how fast time ticks. its august already.

in a blink of an eye, i m already in my final yr in occ therapy over at nyp. everything seems just like yesterday.

i can even remember what i wore on first day of school lo.

so many things that i want to jot down here, yet, at the same time, i feel the raunching of the brain without any logical sentences forming within. (:

met up the fyp peeps today! and quoting xy: meeting one another for SEVEN DAYS a week is disgusting la! hahahhas!

but so glad that we finished before time today! (:

and derek flew back to US today. and that really confirmed how fast time flies. am touched by his testimony of how he grew on in the group over at LA.

and had a gd time reading ps jeff's blog.

i dont know where i will go.

but, i know He will be with me wherever He puts me to go.

a pic when derek first left for US. byee bro.


and heres where junting and sharon left for aust last yr. and AGAIN, i have to reiterate how fast time flies...and now... WELCOME BACK! (:
welcome home sharon!

and juntinggg. (:

ruuui's blog makes me feeel all ready for national day. (:

i really lovee the song that's playing on her bloggg. v heartwarming.

why why why. why has time diluted the "heartwarmingness" of the representating songs over the years..

i think its the simple lyrics like that, that makes u all so fuzzy and puts a smile on ur face la. (:

"you make me feel, warm and safe,
to give me hope for brighter day.....

its the little things, that we share,
the love and joy that's in the air,
the children's laughter everywhere,
and all our favourite things...."

(:

the past week had been a time where i start to think abt many things. things and people ard me, my own spiritual walk, vision..and more on.

was sharing to hannah about some of my thoughts. many times, i may walk thru the whole week, not realising some events were really interesting, some events were really learning sessions, some not-so-good events, some wow-its-great events, and some i-really-want-to-thank-you-so-much-God events...

and sometimes, due to the hurried lifestyle, i just walk thru them, and only come to realise the meaning in each and every of the event on Saturday mornings, where i often have time to sit down, eat my brek, and just put aside those daunting deadlines for a while and spend some time with "myself". hahas.

of course, there are times of regrets. and what alan tea shared today was really apt. don't you wish you could turn back the clock, sometimes?

i do.

but at the same time, i know the clock will be left better to move forward. and it really made me feel so loved by Him to know that He wipes away my past.

wiping yesterday, wiping today, wiping tmr in process.

not an excuse to do wrong. but an opportunity to start with a redeemed spirit.

i like the analogy goes. no matter how hard we try to delete information from hard-disks, fragments of it are always possible to be traced back.

but God is generous, He doesnt delete. He gives you a new hard-drive.

i showed hannah this kok kok scrapbook that i bought at popular for 55cents. it contains my random scribblings of whatever is in my brain, anytime, anywhere.

i really don't want to forget thoughts that ran thru my mind before. gd ones, bad ones. whichever one. so as long there's a learning principle behind each in my spiritual walk. i want to catch them before they fly away.

one entry was written on the bus. and handwriting was horrendously horrendous. hahas.

nevertheless, its the thoughts that matters, not the beauty of it. that explains why i bought the 55cent book too.

i hope i can update that kok kok book for long. i m pretty determined.

unusually, in the midst of the hurried lifestyle that i have for the past week, i feel that He is really close.

and i really treasure these times where i am totally immersed in His strength, cos i m so sure its not my own.

i have been thinking about my next yr. so much..so much.

its about time to plan out my journey on.

God, come in. Show me.

wherever and whatever and however it is, i just want to remember:

i will go to where Your voice is,

"and no matter where i'll be, it warms my heart,
to know that You are always here,
for me.."

its the birthday season in the airrrrr!

in a short span of 2 days, invitations were given for 3 parties in this month of august! all 21st. hahahhas. wellwell.

shareen's bro is having his this sat. haha was so comical. shareen called, shaun spoke and said he is the representative for speaking, to invite me for sebestian's birthday. is like whole family business for sebes's 21st! cool that the whole family is involved! (: and sebes has promised to come to church after his taiwan training stint. greaaaaaaaaat!

and glad to hear that shaun's getting fine in youth as well. (: and of cos, shar too!

totally enjoyed the hike with her last sun. though some hiccups here and there, but was a beautiful walk from mc ritchie to bt timah.

past week was a lil crazy. i dun rem quality sleep. nonetheless, i really feel that i always have energy to move on in the day! thank GOD that He sustains me. I can do all things thru Him who gives me strength.

was reading some article and came by this quote. i thought it was really beautiful. here it:

"The trouble with nearly everybody who prays is that he says 'Amen' and runs away before God has a chance to reply. Listening to God is far more important than giving Him your ideas." :- Frank Laubach, Christina Evangelical Missionary (1884-1970)

and yes thanks utan for the really refreshing chat that night! let's move towards to the ending point tog!

loaded the songs that we r going to sing for anniversary into my mp3.

and listened on to the songs.

and as i got on to the song "How great is our God", really couldnt hold it. it just crept out of my eyes.

and i really felt my heart, soul and mind being merged into one, captured. a lot of things just came to my mind, and i cant help but to really adore Him.

so overwhelmed. that i messaged a few people my heart. so overwhelmed, that i surrendered myself to Him in worship. so overwhelmed, that i went on to intercede for some of my closest.

i felt so set free. and so assured. so confident.

Believe that when all else fails, GOD proves faithful. n seriously, what keeps me moving, is Him. and all of you guys.

as i strive on, i am always so moved, when i am reminded that i really really do have a great grp of peeps who love me through His love, invested greatly in me, people who are stubborn for Him, so much so that they will never let me go; to see that I stay on in this race to do more for Him, wherever we may be.

Thank you all. i really love all of you. so much. cos i have really experienced Christ's love through each and every of your lives.

i had no idea why i wanted to go and eat dinner with you utan, despite it being a short half hr like u said. but m glad i did.

i had no idea why i just had the urge to stop at city hall station, where i had not much of reason to. i didnt even know why. was late. shops were going to close. but somehow, strangely, i just thought i should stop to get some pressies for a few ppl.

but i now know why i alighted. jean called me excitedly soon after. (: she saw junting and sharon with the ex usm brothers that they both used to lead.

i m so sure it can't be coincidence. and its not impt if it is or not. (: i m just thankful for this divine meet-up.

juns and shars shared their experiences and their ministry over at australia for the past yr in Hope Sydney. and shars the OT is going to start work soon at Alexandra Hospital, while juns the RT is going to serve her bond as well at NUH. so happy for them. (:

also, caught up with the rest of the usm peeps. many of them are starting sch soon. bo's going nus; xuan, enghow, hongyao should be starting nx wk at ntu; poor jo is alone in smoooo; with derek flying back to US soon in aug. and like how xuan aptly puts it, a time together like this often reflects how far and how long we have moved tog.

i totally agree. (:

to you all: thanks. yawl made a huge difference in my life. (:

listening: You are Holy
"...I'll sing your praises forever
Deeper in love with You
Here in Your courts
Where I'm close to Your throne
I found where I belong...."

was just discussing abt this casually with my sis

and i just checked my mail and saw leslie's mail. guess it summarizes what we said. (:

Subject: The husband store
Date: Wed, 22 Mar 2006 00:41:50 +0800>>>>>>>>>>>>

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may>>>>>>visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!"she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love>>>>>>kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

(:

today is such a wayang day. hahas. ask deb. she knows what happened.

i believe no one will ever tread on chua family's toes again. hahahas. haiyooo.

want to know the story. ask me. it was sooooooooo wayang until it sapped all my energy. heh.

but certainly, i thought it was a gd experience. for my sis and me. (:

anyway, i really really enjoyed the choir prac ytd. learnt a lot, sang a lot.

hmm, the stressors of school are kicking in bit by bit. we are all feeling it already. library's like a warzone, so much so i detest going in there now. hahah. except for some blowing of air con. heh.

alrights! sleep go sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!

dearest Priscilla,

blessed birthday.

am ever so thankful that i went over the other time to do survey with u. did not expect that a friendship will blossom after then.

really appreciate ur effort and love in this friendship! :)

miaozhi darl is going for membership class!

and cindy too! :) so happy for her, really. :)

a week of happenings: first week back at school, FYP grp known, decided to go for choir aud and et cetera et cetera et cetera.

to you: great seeing u today. :) stay strong, stay firm, stay courageous for Him. rem, i ll giv u a ride, no matter how many donkey yrs later i take to pass driving if i ever go for it? hahahas!

glad to share my life with u! u r a strong girl. u shall not be defeated.

O. jus remembered a cedar cheer song, that i always enjoyed cheering with my class during jogging sessions in sch last time. dedicated to u! ;)

We are from Cedar, we shall not be moved.
We are from Cedar, we shall not be moved.
Like the trees that are planted by the water side.
We shall not be moved!

as i changed the lyrics:
You are the child of God, you shall not be moved.
You are the child of God, you shall not be moved.
Like the trees that are planted by the water side..
You shall not be moved!

Can call me to sing the cheer for u! hahahas! You will stay strong, stay firm, stay resilient! looking forward to the completion of the race with you.

jiayou woman! jiayou.

have been thinking abt...who am I?

a tough qn. isn't it.

and, today, 21st July, marks the 4th year of my walk with Him. :)

time flies. wow. :)

back to tutor the 3 boys after so long. was expecting a long night, but it turned out that the boys always manage to make my day somehow.

cynthia, the new volunteer who is partnering with me in the tutoring of the 3 boys, made me realise that ernest actually doesnt know his alphabets. and he is already in sec 1 NT.

and arthur told me that actually all along, C, D, E and T sounds the same to him.

so spend the last half hr doing some lip reading. tried the "air" method also by talking to arthur's back of hand to help him get a feel of how the alphabets should be pronounced.

arthur is getting more conscious of himself. he really wants to pronounce each and every single word correctly. probably he is in a hearing environment now, and he is feeling the pressure to speak correctly. and perhaps even interactions with girls as well.

boys his age. tsk.

arthur is considered the lucky one already. the other 2's hearing cant be compared to his, and hence their pronounciation pales in comparison too.

nevertheless, i pray that they will thrive in this hearing environment and fend for themselves. really.

Dear GOD,

I don't know what my days will be like, without You.

I know I am loving You more than yesterday. And i pray, it will continue on for the many tomorrows ahead.

Love, xiu

i know this is really crazy. first day of my year 3 is tmr, or rather, later.

and....

I AM NOT SLEEPING YET. i can't seem to get to sleepp. rolled and turn and finally could not stand it any longer.

i dont know is it the coke light that i drank earlier on taking effect. if it really is, it shall replace kopi in future.

talking abt that, i am trying to cut down on my caff intake. i really need to detox all this rubbish out. so, i have a tiny treatment plan for myself.

i have been adding milo and one teaspoonful of coffee powder for breakfast drink. and not pure kopi. that's step one.

but more often than not, i am tempted to drink coffee for lunch cos i really dont want to risk not being able to concentrate whilst seeing a patient!

hmmm. i m really quite determined not to allow caffeine to take over my life. i can make it without caffeine. amen. haha.

talking about not being able to sleep, i think i know the ans. its not the coke light. i know is just that my head is really full. full to the brim.

so many things in my head. my heart is connected, and is feeling the weight. not the dread-y weight? but, just cant help but feeling a little heavy.

i guess its just that sooo many things have happened, that i dunno where to start, and perhaps, even where to end.

and sometimes, i will just stare in the mirror while i am brushing my teeth and question myself about myself.

sometimes, i m really not sure who i really am. sometimes, i wonder if i am up to the mark. sometimes, i question where i am where i am now. sometimes, i m not really certain if i am really extending the purpose that He has for me for where He has placed me.

u know, sometimes it really scares me. it really grips me to know how fine the walking rope is, in walking towards Him? imagine those acrobats who does all the walking on thin ropes in the high airs. yeah. thats what i meant.

you cannot afford to be negligent. you cannot afford to lose your concentration. you cannot afford to stop, sit on the rope and whine when u feel scared or tired. no you cant, and you shouldnt.

you just walk on! and walk each step with greater faith. walk each step knowing you are for sure, one step closer to the finishing spot. you walk on knowing that you will die once you stop your momentum. and dont ever think of turning back! its crazy and ridiculus.

but its also the very me that i m crying to the Lord not too long ago. why did u put me in such a spot, literally.

why did u allow me to go thru such exhilarating walks.

why did u send me to walk on such 1mm rope.

why did u even choose me.

and i dont know if anyone, someone or everyone can tell, i am actually quite an emo person.

but i have learnt to take captivity of unworthy thoughts as i grew closer to Him for the past yrs.

i am still the old emo mx. but with more self-control as well.

and i hate the feeling of wanting to whine so LOUDLY but yet at the same time, i feel disgusted at myself for whining. hahas.

haiya.

and so I was reminded:

that You put exhilarating walks for me so to expose me. to the vulnerabilities of the environment. to the harshest of the world. and at the same time, to experience the adrenaline of really walking at the edge for You.

You made me walk on tight thin ropes to help me watch and place each and every single of my step CAREFULLY and STEADILY. a careless step, down u go.

You chose me, cos You have prepared me. You have trained me on the grounds to walk on ropes. Now, try something more exciting. challenge the ropes in air. its a privilege.

the journey with the Lord takes my breath away many times u know? literally, figuratively yada yada yada. and i feel soooooooo honoured, really, to be able to serve Him.

though my legs are shivering fr the height, i know i am not going to fall.

i am really quite determined to meet Him on the other side.

and I am ready to strike away the word "quite" quite soon.

yeah. bring it on. :)

shuling sent this. come home running. a father's song to a lost child.

Oh, heart of mine
Why must you stray
From one so fair
You run away
And one more time you have to pay
The heaviness of needless shame

Oh, heart of mine
Come back home
You've been too long
Out on your ownAnd
He's been there all along
Watching for you down the road

So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
And he understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

Oh, child of God
So dearly loved
And ransomed by
The Savior's blood
And called by name daughter and son
Wrapped in the robe of righteousnes

Handwriting Analysis
What Your Writing Reveals About You

Mx, your handwriting reveals that you are Sociable

Your writing style reflects that you tend to feel connected to others, and that you help to facilitate that connection through your clear writing. Is it your left margin, your top margin, or your word spacing that gives you away?

feeling weak now. tummy hurts!

i really have no idea how to make the pain go away.

anyway. tmr have to submit the management case. and i have not really integrated the question in my brain.

more work tonight then. hahas.

just checked my mail and saw that hb emailed me 3 days ago. after observations. his short comments and eval of that session. hahas.

ok, one more week to go! woohoooo!

had a long week.

nevertheless, i am really thankful to Him for really being beside me all the time.

many times He stood by me, but i took Him for granted and ranted in my heart how tiring and draining the working life can be. i was not looking forward to working. no no no.

the "real" world. often, people portray a bleak and self-centred image of the world.

its the survivor instinct. the "you-just-need-to-do-what-you-are-supposed-to-do-and-get-off-immediately". no more than that.

just like examinations, we often agree that practicals are rather scary, and theory allows u to be more prepared with what's going to come.

similarly, even though we often have the head knowledge to be in the world and not of the world, to apply in practical? we really need Him to guide us and hold us closely.

so moral of story? : walk close. with HIM. anytime, anywhere.

anyway, presented my case today. had a frantic journey to the hosp this morn due to rain and the unbelievably longggg taxi stand queue. hadnt had time to do script, hadnt had the time to rehearse, and hadnt had the time to even give some animation to my slides.

and was mentally rehearsing in my head how to answer some really possible questions fr the therapists. anyway, every fridays they had some in-service presentations to enhance learning atmosphere within the hospital.

was expecting the medical team to take their leave upon finishing their presentation at 8am today. facing the squad of at least 10 therapists was mental-gruelling enough.

and to my horror of horrors, the medical team stayed put. and today was horrendously lots of ppl. i just felt that my butt then weighed a million tons on the chair.

unwillingly i went up. somehow i was hoping for the laptop to not work. somehow, i was hoping it cant sense my thumbdrive. somehow, i was hoping for everything except for it to work especially.

nv felt similar performance anxiety for a v long time. was mentally stressful to have a view of a roomful of people whose experience adds up to hundreds of years tog.

it sounds ridiculus, but my knees felt weak. throat extremely dry.

i just had to pray. some tranquilisers. prayed for wisdom and coherence in my delivery of case.

took a deeeep breath...and started.

and am glad it went ok! praise Him! i felt an immediate sense of peace and perhaps, increase of conviction of my case as I presented.

and i went on and on and on for 15min, where is the time we offer ourselves to stand in the "firing squad", that is, questions fr floor of case presented.

and glad i pulled thru the experience! i think i learnt a lot from the time of presenting alone. i wouldnt have such courage without knowing He's with me. i felt like an ant telling elephants how to walk a long distance in one stride. you get what i mean?

but nevertheless, its not too bad being an ant. so as long u r a diligent ant. you will get there eventually. and if you are willing to ask, the elephants will give u a ride. :)

hahas. some mini personal reflections. dont worry if you dont get what i am trying to share from my heart. i think i am rambling already.

yay wendy! *pats on our backs* case presentation down! finally!

nights world. i am starting to appreciate the beauty of this clinical attachment. clinical's a terrifying thing, but its opening up my life to lives beyond my own, and i really feel a lot for this profession. i am starting to like geriatrics. its growing bit by bit within me. although sometimes i think i feel embarrased for myself hearing my own broken hokkien.
occupational therapy- towards meaningful living.

taggged by ah ruuui. to do the survey. :)

Instructions: Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head.

1. sis
2. carrie
3. hannah
4. deborah
5. yuhann
6. jeannn
7. shera
8. ziwei
9. regggie
10. ah rui
11. ceyu
12. mingg
13. huimei
14. liyan
15. my pa
16. my ma.
17. shuyi
18. shareeen
19. xuan
20. enghow

Questions:1. How did you meet number 14?
liyannnn! how how how. hahahs. first met her at the touch community theatre for the church student conference. :)

2. What would you do if you had never met Number 1?
prolly i ll have a more peaceful lifeeee. HA. i am just joking alrights. i love her. in good times in bad times. in sickness and in health (coughs violently)

3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
ah how and ah gieee?!? I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE! hahahhas! will be interested to see how it goes! both God-lovers! hahahas.

4. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
eh. flat no? shuyi and jean?

5. Describe No. 3.
you guys know her isnt it. fun-loving and bubbly sheeepie. she can turn black skies to bluee. :) adore kids and kids adore her.

6. Do you think No.8 is attractive?
look at her! tt's like duhh. hahahhas. great looks great personality, most imptly, great bud. :)

7. Tell me something about No.7
wheeeeee. my dear. jc friend cum bud in church. the girl who brought me to know Him.

8. Do you know anything about no.12's family?
she has a loving husbanddd, and a lovely son timmy!

9. What is no. 18's favorite? God! :) ahhahas. she loves outdoors adventure.

10.What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you? ceyu, pls answer this qn.

11. What language does 15 speak? chinese. teochew. hokkien. malay.

12. Who is 9 going out with? (evil laughter..)

13. How old is 16 now? forever 18... she hopes. 52. :)

14. When was the last time u talked to 13? last weeek.

15. Who's 2's favorite singer? it used to be vic fr f4 if i m not wrong. but she has broken the idolatry already. ahahha!!

16. Would you date number 4? eeeeeeewwwwwww. DEB!

17. Would you date 7? she's my fren. we often date. :)

18. Is 15 single? my pa. what do u think?? :)

19. What's 10's last name? lee foundation like she always say and quote.

20. Would you ever consider being in a relationship with 19? my jie-mei already.

21. What school does 3 go to? missy to be. in nyp. :)

22. Where does 6 live? houganggggg.

23. What's your favorite thing about number 5? a girl with a big heart for others. OTHERS ABOVE SELF.

Dedicated to mx

Dedicated to a goot fren, gr8 sis n lovely pherd>>
Yoooooo MX shepherd. Thx for evrythn today!!!!!! been a long long time since i enjoyed myself so so much. Really. utanLOVESyou :)) -jEan

jean the monkey is watching world cup now at my living room.

and eating honey stars.

and eating honey stars.

and eating honey stars...

and eating more honey stars.....

just a short one.

the past 4 days at clinicals. hmm. i dont know what will be a suitable word to describe it.

but in general, somehow i think it did in one way or another, help me to look forward to finding out more abt working in hospital.

i must admit it is the first clinical placement that keeps me on my toes the entire day.

but certainly i think it will, and i am really certain i can learn loads fr this placement from many people.

like fr my sup. i personally find her an interesting figure. she obviously work hard (verrryyy hard) and plays hard as well. i admire her flexibility, and great sense of responsibility. but of cos, discussing plans with her each day makes my heart beats irregularly. don't try to smoke her. u r asking for it.

another person..

i love dr jung! she's really dynamic. solid woman, yet amicable. she v cute when she smiles. :) her ability to present the infor very relevantly to diff healthcare team members during the round-table session on amputee rehab was something we can learn from.

and i must also say the nurses in the ward are very nice as well. v easy to talk to and to find out about the patient's updates.

hmmm. prayin hard that i will grow to embrace this clinicals. :)

Love Me
By Collin Raye

I read a note my Grandma wrote
Back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat
And he showed it once to me

He said
Boy you might not understand, but a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none
But I loved your Grandma so

We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter
And this is what it said:

Chorus:
If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

I read those words just hours before
my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church
Where me and Grandpa stopped to pray

I know I've never seen him cry
In all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

Chorus:
If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

this song never fails to touch me whenever it comes to my ears. i rem the first time i heard it, it brought some water to my eyes. sometimes i try to picture the grandpa singing it. it really touches me. its like a really sincere song. of the true love they have for each other. :)

and it often brings me to think about God's unfailing love for me, and everyone. i can never seem to understand the extent to which He loves me. and many times, i pray for Him to teach me how to love others through His eyes.

and its true, the love and burden for others deepens when i continually rem them in my prayers. love till it hurts. that's love.

John 3:16. that's love.

its a very stressful thought to think that clinicals will be here in less than 30 hrs time.

its gruelling. i am really nervous about this time round.

my first time posted to hospital. neuro dept. acute cases.

i really don't think i am cut out to work so fast-paced. i am a pretty s--l--o--w paced person.

but whatever it is, face it, prepare my heart, take a deep breath. go for it. am praying for a great learning experience.

time to refresh the stroke stuff, mobility..and what dr param has taught us all. apparently i totally threw them out of my brain long time ago.

scary la! i really scared of clinicals when the sup start to ask ur rationale of ur treatment plan, the patient's progress and all the short term long term goals and everything...

talking about that, i haven done my learning contract! grrr.

i knoe i am waging a war soon. fighting with time, battling with physical tiredness, handling stressors.

and i know, i can proclaim bring it on, when i dwell in Him and walk close enough to Him to experience strength and empowerment for each day.

i will survive. for the next 6 weeks. i know i can do all things thru Him who strengthens me.

friendships

specially dedicated to my growing up buds: the "growing up" in this spiritual family was, is, and will always be memorable. :)

we are still "growing up"!

xuan's choir concert today.

i love the song v much. "Go the distance" by alan menken. i don't know why, not as thou its the first time hearing. but i was very touched by the song. v moved.

and today made me recall, how blessed i am to have all of you as my spiritual brothers and sisters. and those who are not in the pic.

really treasure yawl. really. :)

the poem's not so clear when enlarged. heres it. :)

Cherished Friends

Author Unknown
God must have know there would be times we'd need a word of cheer,

Someone to praise a triumph or brush away a tear.

He must have known we'd need to share the joy of "little things"

In order to appreciate the happiness life brings.

I think He knew our troubled hearts would sometimes throb with pain,

At trials and misfortunes, or goals we can't attain.

He knew we'd need the comfort of an understanding heart

To give us strength and courage to make a fresh, new start.

He knew we'd need companionship, unselfish....lasting....true,

And so God answered the heart's great need with

Cherished Friends....like you.




"9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12