it's night again.

or should i say..morning? :)

it's been like this since exams ended. i have an overwhelming pool of tots tt runs thru my mind during quiet times like this.

i will peer out of the window..look at all the buildings out of my room..the empty road...the mobil ppl.

n many tots will jus come.

how shall i start. i dunno. -smiles sheepishly-

reflecting on my close-to-one-yr walk with the nyp grp, i m overwhelmed.

in fact, to be accurate, i was v touched. i dunno why, but yeah..i guess 'touched' is a very apt word to use.

i can't believe it's almost a yr. n the numerous things tt happened thruout the yr.

some gd, some not so gd.

n i got pretty overwhelmed. to the extent tt i tot my eyes were hot n wet. till now?

i repented. for the many doings tt i may hv done which hurts others. my attitude, my pride, everything.

i dunno how many ppl's toes have i stepped on. i m sorry.

n i really see God working in changing my perspectives in this yr. its being an amazing journey w Him. i do treasure it so much you know.

arhh. i dunno how to describe tt feeling. but, i m feeling all so..ARGHHH.

i dun like it when i m being so emotional. i dun like it when i m not in control of my feeeeelings.

but God really sustained me. He taught me so much. many lessons tt i will really bear in mind. i cant give enough thanks for that fateful day in Sep 2004 at nyp carpark, when i was challenged to move on. n serve in a totally different n foreign student ministry.

at tt point in time, i HATE tt idea. i DON'T want to budge. i refuse to. n tt's all in my heart.

tho' outwardly, i obeyed. n yup. agreed to move.

dun ask me why those intense feelings of unwillingness. i hav no idea y. but the idea of leaving frens whom u have started ur spiritual journey w, an environment which u were pruned..to somewhere where u dun even know a pea..

put it simply: the feeling sucks. or rather, beyond sucks.

that was slightly more than a yr back.

n came the month where i met my new family. dec. at TOUCH community.

what deb said ytd caught me. "hey this fri's prayer meet at TOUCH. where we had our chu ci jian mian.(first meetup)..hehs"

its coming a yr. n i was reminded once again of what i responded during the student seminar then. abt my spiritual walk at the end of 2005.

:)

God is real. HE is. i don't wish to explain further at this pt in time how..but HE just is, in every single situation tt happened in my life for the past yr.

n i realised, HE doesn't need to explain Himself for every circumstance tt He planted in ur life. cos the circumstances will explain His presence to you..in its time. yup. tt's wad i truly learn.

many ppl i wan to thank for bearing me in love.

my shep: huimei. i can't even count the number of times i hav bite u, or the amount of rubbishh i give u. i can't count em. it's so much. but u've been so patient.. so patiently in picking these rubbish up one by one for me. u bore me in unconditional love. i love u.

sheep: deb. we hav rubbed shoulders a gazillion times...but yet, u r stil so dear to me. i dunno how to express these thru words (YOU KNOW IT.), but i'm sure u know my language of love to u. i've learn a lot fr u.. n i know i will stil continue to learn more. i'm assured of tt. i love u.

sheep: yuhan. as i've shared, i nv imagined i ll cross paths w u. nv. but God is cute, He gives loads of surprises. n u've been a pleasant one. talking w u gives me a new perspective of issues. like u ve shared, we will bring this r/s to a deeper level. :) let's share life. n yes, tho' i dun know u for long, u r v dear to me as well..n i mean tt. i love u.

the list goes on. u guys know who u r. thanks for ur Investment in my life.