learnt something abt myself recently.

i m a worrier. n a pretty bad one too.

but..i really wan to be a WARRIOR..not a worrier. but sometimes, u really struggle to be one victorious one in pressing circumstances.

but hey, i thank God for this environment tt i can stretch myself and beyond. is really a testing grd for me. new grd for breakthru. God..i need more of u in this.

and i think i have been using all my brute strength..my own understanding..my own words even..to encourage myself..to motivate myself thru this period.

but of cos, Man is limited. theres only thhhhaaaat much tt u can make ur spirits uplifted.

Matthew 6:25-27 [Do Not Worry] 25"I tell you, do not worry. Don't worry about your life and what you will eat or drink. And don't worry about your body and what you will wear. Isn't there more to life than eating? Aren't there more important things for the body than clothes?
26"Look at the birds of the air. They don't plant or gather crops. They don't put away crops in storerooms. But your Father who is in heaven feeds them. Aren't you worth much more than they are?
27"Can you add even one hour to your life by worrying?

really impacted by the last verse. Can i even add one hour to my life by worrying? No i can't. i simply can't. so why spend time worrying and fussing over the uncertainties in life? do i have tt little faith in God to hold my future?

i wan to experience a breakthru in this. i really look forward to tt. :)

o. i grew a lady's finger plant last week, for the sake that i will have such 'over-garden' topics w my frens to talk abt..cos ALMOST ALL of em have cucumbers sprouting in hydroponics, cabbage blooming..runner's seeds growing. SO THAT's it. i grew one too. hahahs despite not really having the passion to grow a plant. i wan to be relevant. Hahahhs!

and... it grew SOOO much over the weekend! i was really pleasantly surprised! and its then, did i really felt the joy in seeing YOUR very own plant grow! this ownership u cannot explain.. i was beaming fr ear to ear when i saw my seedlings fr my cup at the garden. wow.

n u know wad..i dunno why. but i was v reminded tt in fact, everyone's life is jus like a seed. someone was interested in u, and hence, planted u in fertile soil..water it..and place it under sunlight for it to grow. the person planted it. the person takes the ownership of the plant. the person yearns for the day it GROWs.

i was immediately reminded of God's immeasurable love. in the OT garden..yes. He is the Creator. He planted us in good soil. and just as i watched how my classmates loved and adored their plants, He adores us. despite how others may find it repulsive (i.e the old me..who used to HATE IT WHEN I ALWAYS HAD TO ACCOMPANY THEM TO GARDEN To CHECK OUT their plants), the Planter tks the ownership, and responsibility of the life He planted. He nurtures it. He waters it. He watches it grow.

I vividly rem elain's plant being infected w virus then..and how upset she was. she couldnt bear to put it to death. i was once again reminded then, that even tho each and everyone of us has 'virus' within us and is so imperfect, He loves us so much to not put us to death..but to die on the cross himself for our sake. tell me..where else can i find such unconditional love.

nowhere.

i wan to be the seed that grows and bears fruits.

God. prune me and use me.

Amen.