had a long week.

nevertheless, i am really thankful to Him for really being beside me all the time.

many times He stood by me, but i took Him for granted and ranted in my heart how tiring and draining the working life can be. i was not looking forward to working. no no no.

the "real" world. often, people portray a bleak and self-centred image of the world.

its the survivor instinct. the "you-just-need-to-do-what-you-are-supposed-to-do-and-get-off-immediately". no more than that.

just like examinations, we often agree that practicals are rather scary, and theory allows u to be more prepared with what's going to come.

similarly, even though we often have the head knowledge to be in the world and not of the world, to apply in practical? we really need Him to guide us and hold us closely.

so moral of story? : walk close. with HIM. anytime, anywhere.

anyway, presented my case today. had a frantic journey to the hosp this morn due to rain and the unbelievably longggg taxi stand queue. hadnt had time to do script, hadnt had the time to rehearse, and hadnt had the time to even give some animation to my slides.

and was mentally rehearsing in my head how to answer some really possible questions fr the therapists. anyway, every fridays they had some in-service presentations to enhance learning atmosphere within the hospital.

was expecting the medical team to take their leave upon finishing their presentation at 8am today. facing the squad of at least 10 therapists was mental-gruelling enough.

and to my horror of horrors, the medical team stayed put. and today was horrendously lots of ppl. i just felt that my butt then weighed a million tons on the chair.

unwillingly i went up. somehow i was hoping for the laptop to not work. somehow, i was hoping it cant sense my thumbdrive. somehow, i was hoping for everything except for it to work especially.

nv felt similar performance anxiety for a v long time. was mentally stressful to have a view of a roomful of people whose experience adds up to hundreds of years tog.

it sounds ridiculus, but my knees felt weak. throat extremely dry.

i just had to pray. some tranquilisers. prayed for wisdom and coherence in my delivery of case.

took a deeeep breath...and started.

and am glad it went ok! praise Him! i felt an immediate sense of peace and perhaps, increase of conviction of my case as I presented.

and i went on and on and on for 15min, where is the time we offer ourselves to stand in the "firing squad", that is, questions fr floor of case presented.

and glad i pulled thru the experience! i think i learnt a lot from the time of presenting alone. i wouldnt have such courage without knowing He's with me. i felt like an ant telling elephants how to walk a long distance in one stride. you get what i mean?

but nevertheless, its not too bad being an ant. so as long u r a diligent ant. you will get there eventually. and if you are willing to ask, the elephants will give u a ride. :)

hahas. some mini personal reflections. dont worry if you dont get what i am trying to share from my heart. i think i am rambling already.

yay wendy! *pats on our backs* case presentation down! finally!

nights world. i am starting to appreciate the beauty of this clinical attachment. clinical's a terrifying thing, but its opening up my life to lives beyond my own, and i really feel a lot for this profession. i am starting to like geriatrics. its growing bit by bit within me. although sometimes i think i feel embarrased for myself hearing my own broken hokkien.
occupational therapy- towards meaningful living.

taggged by ah ruuui. to do the survey. :)

Instructions: Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head.

1. sis
2. carrie
3. hannah
4. deborah
5. yuhann
6. jeannn
7. shera
8. ziwei
9. regggie
10. ah rui
11. ceyu
12. mingg
13. huimei
14. liyan
15. my pa
16. my ma.
17. shuyi
18. shareeen
19. xuan
20. enghow

Questions:1. How did you meet number 14?
liyannnn! how how how. hahahs. first met her at the touch community theatre for the church student conference. :)

2. What would you do if you had never met Number 1?
prolly i ll have a more peaceful lifeeee. HA. i am just joking alrights. i love her. in good times in bad times. in sickness and in health (coughs violently)

3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
ah how and ah gieee?!? I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE! hahahhas! will be interested to see how it goes! both God-lovers! hahahas.

4. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
eh. flat no? shuyi and jean?

5. Describe No. 3.
you guys know her isnt it. fun-loving and bubbly sheeepie. she can turn black skies to bluee. :) adore kids and kids adore her.

6. Do you think No.8 is attractive?
look at her! tt's like duhh. hahahhas. great looks great personality, most imptly, great bud. :)

7. Tell me something about No.7
wheeeeee. my dear. jc friend cum bud in church. the girl who brought me to know Him.

8. Do you know anything about no.12's family?
she has a loving husbanddd, and a lovely son timmy!

9. What is no. 18's favorite? God! :) ahhahas. she loves outdoors adventure.

10.What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you? ceyu, pls answer this qn.

11. What language does 15 speak? chinese. teochew. hokkien. malay.

12. Who is 9 going out with? (evil laughter..)

13. How old is 16 now? forever 18... she hopes. 52. :)

14. When was the last time u talked to 13? last weeek.

15. Who's 2's favorite singer? it used to be vic fr f4 if i m not wrong. but she has broken the idolatry already. ahahha!!

16. Would you date number 4? eeeeeeewwwwwww. DEB!

17. Would you date 7? she's my fren. we often date. :)

18. Is 15 single? my pa. what do u think?? :)

19. What's 10's last name? lee foundation like she always say and quote.

20. Would you ever consider being in a relationship with 19? my jie-mei already.

21. What school does 3 go to? missy to be. in nyp. :)

22. Where does 6 live? houganggggg.

23. What's your favorite thing about number 5? a girl with a big heart for others. OTHERS ABOVE SELF.

Dedicated to mx

Dedicated to a goot fren, gr8 sis n lovely pherd>>
Yoooooo MX shepherd. Thx for evrythn today!!!!!! been a long long time since i enjoyed myself so so much. Really. utanLOVESyou :)) -jEan

jean the monkey is watching world cup now at my living room.

and eating honey stars.

and eating honey stars.

and eating honey stars...

and eating more honey stars.....

just a short one.

the past 4 days at clinicals. hmm. i dont know what will be a suitable word to describe it.

but in general, somehow i think it did in one way or another, help me to look forward to finding out more abt working in hospital.

i must admit it is the first clinical placement that keeps me on my toes the entire day.

but certainly i think it will, and i am really certain i can learn loads fr this placement from many people.

like fr my sup. i personally find her an interesting figure. she obviously work hard (verrryyy hard) and plays hard as well. i admire her flexibility, and great sense of responsibility. but of cos, discussing plans with her each day makes my heart beats irregularly. don't try to smoke her. u r asking for it.

another person..

i love dr jung! she's really dynamic. solid woman, yet amicable. she v cute when she smiles. :) her ability to present the infor very relevantly to diff healthcare team members during the round-table session on amputee rehab was something we can learn from.

and i must also say the nurses in the ward are very nice as well. v easy to talk to and to find out about the patient's updates.

hmmm. prayin hard that i will grow to embrace this clinicals. :)

Love Me
By Collin Raye

I read a note my Grandma wrote
Back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat
And he showed it once to me

He said
Boy you might not understand, but a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none
But I loved your Grandma so

We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter
And this is what it said:

Chorus:
If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

I read those words just hours before
my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church
Where me and Grandpa stopped to pray

I know I've never seen him cry
In all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

Chorus:
If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

this song never fails to touch me whenever it comes to my ears. i rem the first time i heard it, it brought some water to my eyes. sometimes i try to picture the grandpa singing it. it really touches me. its like a really sincere song. of the true love they have for each other. :)

and it often brings me to think about God's unfailing love for me, and everyone. i can never seem to understand the extent to which He loves me. and many times, i pray for Him to teach me how to love others through His eyes.

and its true, the love and burden for others deepens when i continually rem them in my prayers. love till it hurts. that's love.

John 3:16. that's love.

its a very stressful thought to think that clinicals will be here in less than 30 hrs time.

its gruelling. i am really nervous about this time round.

my first time posted to hospital. neuro dept. acute cases.

i really don't think i am cut out to work so fast-paced. i am a pretty s--l--o--w paced person.

but whatever it is, face it, prepare my heart, take a deep breath. go for it. am praying for a great learning experience.

time to refresh the stroke stuff, mobility..and what dr param has taught us all. apparently i totally threw them out of my brain long time ago.

scary la! i really scared of clinicals when the sup start to ask ur rationale of ur treatment plan, the patient's progress and all the short term long term goals and everything...

talking about that, i haven done my learning contract! grrr.

i knoe i am waging a war soon. fighting with time, battling with physical tiredness, handling stressors.

and i know, i can proclaim bring it on, when i dwell in Him and walk close enough to Him to experience strength and empowerment for each day.

i will survive. for the next 6 weeks. i know i can do all things thru Him who strengthens me.

friendships

specially dedicated to my growing up buds: the "growing up" in this spiritual family was, is, and will always be memorable. :)

we are still "growing up"!

xuan's choir concert today.

i love the song v much. "Go the distance" by alan menken. i don't know why, not as thou its the first time hearing. but i was very touched by the song. v moved.

and today made me recall, how blessed i am to have all of you as my spiritual brothers and sisters. and those who are not in the pic.

really treasure yawl. really. :)

the poem's not so clear when enlarged. heres it. :)

Cherished Friends

Author Unknown
God must have know there would be times we'd need a word of cheer,

Someone to praise a triumph or brush away a tear.

He must have known we'd need to share the joy of "little things"

In order to appreciate the happiness life brings.

I think He knew our troubled hearts would sometimes throb with pain,

At trials and misfortunes, or goals we can't attain.

He knew we'd need the comfort of an understanding heart

To give us strength and courage to make a fresh, new start.

He knew we'd need companionship, unselfish....lasting....true,

And so God answered the heart's great need with

Cherished Friends....like you.




"9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

essentialbrew

shuyi blessed me recently with a tiny gift. :)

a gift voucher at essentialbrew. v sweet of herrrr! ;)

so decided to go w deb to spend time toggg.

the upstairs like so cosy. even the washrooms were homely. hahas.

i love the place. :)

ok la ok la. i love deb too. hahahas!

she prolly will drop dead seeing this. hahas! she cant stand mushy stuff.

we shared about what drives us.

and just then, i received an sms. from a friend who has not msged me for quite some time.

and there i thought, it really concluded our sharing. the sms goes:

"the quality of your life depends on how you love the things you do, how you do the things you love and how you love the ones who love you."

God demonstrated His love for us, by sending Jesus to the cross.

how do you demonstrate your love? how do you go about doing things that you love? :)

16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.- John 3:16

steam egggg

mum called at least FIVE times today to make sure my first attempt at steam egggg is finee.

and FIVE times, the contents were roughly the same.

at least i only entertained the last 2. sis got the first three for me. hahahas!

cos ma will be helping my gran to make rice dumplings at gran's stall at night, she offered me an opportunity to attempt making a dinner dish while we heat up the rest that she have made earlier for pa.

u know why she called FIVE times?

cos, during the hols, she gave me an opportunity to cook rice.

i cooked. but it remained quite uncooked.

i ATE it still. i mean, i have to show support to my own work right?

sis spat it. so encouraging.

so next day, cai ma ma offered me another chance. this time round, she reminded me to put in more water.

so, i tried, this time round with really a little bit more water.

and sadly, i failed them again. it's still so RAWWWWWWW! ROARS!

i really put in a bit MORE water. WHAT HAPPENED..

and my sis said, you really put in a BIT more water.

yeah, actually, tt's true, i agree.

ok. i shall go make my steam eggs now. hurhur.

brek at newton

back. from the brek at newton w hannah.

i m so ulu. i didnt know that newton food centre had already started its renovation! hahas.

was walking out of house this morn at 6. its been really loooooooooonnnnnnnggggg since i last smelt early morning dew.

and hear the birds (or rather, crows?).

see the first train in action.

sec school days flash back! ;) oh what a beautifulllll morninggggg!

what a pity! often by the moment i open my eyes, the world is already in a hurry. buses, cars all flying past by me, ppl running for work, construction sites have already started their daily job, stores all opened already.

i think its really nice to wake up and experience mornings. u see a whole set of different things tog. usually age range on the higher end. hahas. what has happened to the younger generation!!

time to learn from them morning pleasures and enjoyment. this is the day that the Lord has made. enjoy it!

fell into the traps of life. open eyes, routine wash ups, breks-- all to prepare for work.

today was different! open eyes (and really took some time to open em up..), wash ups, slow stroll to train station, breks and just spend a great morn with nah eating kaya toast and half-boil egggs. (hmm..more like raw egggs. hahahahs). maiden experience was 8am at ya kun. first customers. hahas. not bad. nows 6.30..

and i think i cant go any earlier than tt. hahas. ultimate already.

slurrrps slurrrps. God has made us to enjoy life, and not endure it. Stop, wait, look. don't rush thru'. enjoy it. :)

morning pleasuresss. ;)

mhi

desperate housewives on a 5-hr marathon. so u can imagine..its popularity.

not really concentrating on the show tho', but watching here and there, as u know, my usual habit of turning on the tv while doing other stuff. i work with a lil noise.

i must admit, desperate housewives's pretty addictive. hahas.

today's friday. back to MHI for tuition as usual. but was really late after rushing down from SAOTSC's AGM. reached at 9 odd. managed to be just in time for their half-yearly birthday celebrations for the kids and tutors. :)

i always look forward to meeting these kids and all. and tt's why i m still with em after 2yrs. i love their simplicity in life. and how they really treasure ppl around 'em.

so, to the 3 boys, juncong, arthur n ernest. thank u :)

and despite my the-cannot-really-make-it-but-roughly-they-understand-sign-lang, i'm glad we managed to walked thru the past 2 yrs!

and now the boys have grown up! and i m always thankful for how God has blessed the 3 of em tremendously to go to mainstream this yr! :)

in this community, i've had an opportunity to praise and worship Jesus without voice, but with Hands. in this community, i've witness how to speak to him, not with voice, but using our hearts. in this community, i've learnt how to listen to His soft and gentle voice, not with ears (and definitely not), but with our souls and inner beings.

and in this community, i ve seen how God's faithful hand was upon many of the children, how the good Lord poured in tremendous blessings into their lives. :)

and it was also in this community, that i got to realise my cousin was serving actively in a church! and that he is serving as an sign-language interpretor in church, for praise and worship! i was really blessed when i learnt about that you know!

and it was also through this opportunity to teach the kids, that i got to communicate with my uncle much more effectively. i enjoyed "chatting" with him, and i know he enjoyed me visiting him nowadays too! ahahhahahs! he will be so eager in imparting his sign language to me.

this is something that i am, and will always, really be thankful about.

that people like my uncle, juncong and some of them, gets to "hear" the gospel.

they, likewise need God. and honestly, how beautiful are the feet of those who brought them the Good News! who shared with them beyond their disabilities.

and it's always so so encouraging to see them praising the Lord on how good He is to them. they love to seek God's face, and often, count their blessings. :)

heart's been heavy for the past 2 days. i really need to overcome some areas in my life.
and i really need Him with me.

some news were disappointing. disappointed in myself, disappointed with friends. disappointment.

but nevertheless, He is always grab my heart tight and wring it really hard in these kind of times. To make me be more aware of His presence and His abilities to change my heart. to squeeze out the stale blood and pump in new one.

alrightys. should rest now. hannah's going HopeKIDs Camp at JB tmr! meeting her for brek at 6.30am..

as usual, its madness. but i enjoy doing such things to her! hahahhahahahs! anw she's got to report at 7.45am anws. :) and well, often, i always end off by sending her a msg- "pls give me morn call!" hahahhahahas! i m not a morning person!

let's pray for a great camp for the Kids at JB! ;)

Team Hippiee won the amazing raceeeeee!!! YAYYYYY!

alright. actually is not new news. sis told me that ytd. but watching it myself was like pow-wow. yeah. i love this team! i was so touched that i teared when they touched down at the pit-stop. hahas. yeah. i m so touched by the integrity that they held, their gentleness amidst energy, kindness amidst racing, sacrificial hearts despite not having much, and the friendship that they share THROUGHOUT this race. how beautiful is that!

"When Phil presented BJ and Tyler with their checks, he said they "really embraced this race. They enjoyed every single moment they were on this race, whether they were in first or in last. They kept their spirit all the way to the end. ...."http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/05/18/earlyshow/series/amazingrace/main1628216.shtml

Yeah. that's the word. they embraced this race. winning was a bonus, the ultimate aim was to experience, and finally finish the race.

it was the most beautiful amazing race that i have ever caught thus far. it really demonstrated that to win, pure shrewdness and dirty tricks cant last.

integrity and sincerity towards people do. and that's what i see in bj and tyler.

absolute sincerity in approaching EVERY single one that they meet in every country. they did not narrow their aim to just finishing the race and grab tt 1 mill.

they were much more interested in giving energy to the person that manage to cross paths with em. :)

"Co-winner BJ noted, "I think that on this Race being cerebral doesn't help as much as being in the moment. It's just great to stay positive and really enjoy each other's company. Our friendship is what got us through it." Tyler added, "BJ and I approached each country with wide eyes and enthusiasm and a huge spirit of adventure. There's so much in this world. We might as well take advantage of as much as we can and give back as much as we can and that's important. That's how it all works." "
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/amazing_race9/shows/ep13/race/story/?id=6

i always hoped that i was in the race as well, to see how it has become their second skin to just make another person's day. wow.

finally. the certs are done.

so confused now. full of words in my brain and in front of my eyes now..

zipped.

sent.

cross fingers. *cross cross cross*

no amendments plsss! hahahahhahs. i cannot make it le.

i am really seeing stars now. really.

staring at the screen for the past few hours is no joke. and i really think i am getting carpal tunnel syndrom soon.

wahhhhhhh. concussed!

and is to be out of hse in 4 hrs time. great.

was still planning to jot down how wonderful the night was.

obviously i m going to faint if i dont sleep now. haaa..

sleep sleep sleep.

gd nights world.

can't sleep.

thinking thru some stuff. and somehow i felt a little stuck.

prompted to pray in the spirit. Lord, u still know my heart the best.

and yeah, haha, i cant help but shake my head as i look at the table now. tsk. at nights like this nowadays, like now..i realise it's natural to have these stuff laying around the coffee table in the living room in a few secs..hahas:

tv (reflected) on for sound. milk in hope that i ll sleep. nutella on biscuits to fill my hunger. books and mags, in hope that words can induce me to sleep. and going online to check mails. obsessive-compulsive disorder nowadays.






or, i ll just sit by the window and stare out. the empty roads. the mobil bustling with voices. the view gives me some "stillness", some time alone to think and pray. therapeutic. though not a beautiful scene, but i like the empty roads feel. v still. and the long straight stretch feel.
















and hahas. jus thought of something. compare the above with the following tt i took some time ago..

notice a diff in something?

hahas. this totally reminds me of the "spot the diff" game. hmmm...








DVC's out today.

and i really agree with what alan tea shared on mon. it's presenting itself as a soft opposition, a little challenge posed to our faith.

however, i like the way he put it, with the verse in Ecclesiastes 1:9, "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.". So DVC shouldnt catch us by surprise.

instead, we should make the most of every opportunity(Eph 5:16)..to share the facts amidst the lies.

the seminar on monday was mind-opening. it really helped me to think deeper and to see DVC beyond a movie itself. it's a legendary production..and it's so powerful that its going to be etched in ppl's minds, and be one of the most talked-about topics among ppl.

to quote the conclusion of the seminar:"This novel (DVC) is entertaining but it is not history. Genuine history requires proof. The author has taken a set of ideas and speculative historical reconstructions, each of which is highly implausible in itself (Holy Grail, Goddess in the Gospels), and by weaving them together has not only created an exciting plot but has made several implausible elements appear for a moment as though they might be true. The pseudo-historical claims of a modern novel can't make truth false.

GK Chesterton reminded us that orthodoxy is not only true; it is infinitely more interesting than heresy. The book will soon fall from the best-seller lists. It is now eleventh place in the New York TImes hardcover fiction list. Our faith will continue..."

lincoln brewster

i really love this song.

the praise song we sang today.

it really uplifts me. really encourages me. and i cant stop smiling when i hum it.

its really the feeling of falling in love with someone.

in bliss, in an atmosphere of total love.

i am falling in love with YOU! yes YOU! :)

...by lincoln brewster..

"..i will love the Lord
with all my heart
with all my soul
with all my mind
with all my strength......" :)

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:)

recollections.

sense of nostalgia.

or if nostalgia too sad, or negative a word..what about..calling them memories? :)

i was just looking through some old photos. and i really love the times i've had so far.

from how i started my schooling life in living water christian church as a K1 student, where i rem hilarious moments like the way i wrote the chinese word "qing wa" (frog)...hmm.. hahas.

to kheng cheng..i love my pri school times. really. it was a place where i grew, i made great friendships. a whole environment of learning in fun, joy and laughter. nurturing teachers, great friends..great buds. a teacher i will always remember and miss. yang lao shi! he is an important figure in my life. i dont think many people know that, but this dear old guy is fantastic. he taught me so much. his passion for art sparked off passion within me too. he created lots of opportunities for me to learn and grow in the area of art and chinese calli. i suppose, this tiny, and seemingly unimportant areas of my primary school life really built the foundation of positive self concept within me. its really an important seed, to have people believing in you. :)

and cedar! i adore cedar. i love the people. i love the teachers. i love the energy. i love the cheers!. i love the canteen's ru dan (egg). i love the around-school-jogs before recess time. i love training times. i love the stay-in-classroom-during-recess-time-and-try-to-eat-your-lunch-though-its-rule-breaking time. i love the long walk out from school down cedar ave to bus stop. endless. endless list to the loves.

of cos, it was a time when i was growing up..when i suppose i was quite a brat. when i was immature. a time where i made many silly decisions. :)

but it was also a place which nurtured an identity within me. a place where they instill confidence within you. they empower you. it's dynamic. and i'm really glad to be part of the cedarian fam.

then to aj. ah-ha. that's the place where learning became a bit of dread. can't blame. it's a pre-tertiary stage already. i remember being irritated at all those who preached to me that jc will be so many times better than sec sch. *stares. hahahas.

of cos, there were still things to bring back. great people, great class that i've had. the funny silly things the class did. mr yip's physics class. HAHAS! rem some of them were punished by having to have their desks facing the walls during class. jokers.

and strangely, it was the place and stop in my life where i came to know God. i really cant help but think it must..IT MUST be God's plan. you don't know how much i was banging to go to sajc before going aj. ask reg for the reasons. hahhas.

i never imagine myself coming to know God in this land. really. i planned to go sajc.. with one reason being to know more about Christianity, to experience the Christian fellowship, to find out more, to gain exposure to spirituality.

but no, i dont know what came over me. i decided to pull out and put aj instead. despite the many reasons why i should, i want, i desire to go sajc.

but there are many things which don't need a reason, isnt it? it just happens. :)

and i've never looked back since. this journey with God is so real and dear to me.. and having Him in my life made me move forward in life with a different kind of confidence.

and i reckon that's Faith. not a future that's based on tangibility...things like studies, leadership roles and everything. it's..hmm. just a drive, a focus that i know i never had before i knew Christ.

it's been amazing. the past 3 years were something i never forsee in my life when i was looking 20 years down the road when i was in my sec sch days. it was COMPLETELY off my plan. i never imagine life to take a turn in this direction at this lifestage. never. never. and never.

of cos, His ways are higher than my ways. and He knows what's the best for me.. and His plans are in place for me already.

everything in His time.. :)