had a long week.

nevertheless, i am really thankful to Him for really being beside me all the time.

many times He stood by me, but i took Him for granted and ranted in my heart how tiring and draining the working life can be. i was not looking forward to working. no no no.

the "real" world. often, people portray a bleak and self-centred image of the world.

its the survivor instinct. the "you-just-need-to-do-what-you-are-supposed-to-do-and-get-off-immediately". no more than that.

just like examinations, we often agree that practicals are rather scary, and theory allows u to be more prepared with what's going to come.

similarly, even though we often have the head knowledge to be in the world and not of the world, to apply in practical? we really need Him to guide us and hold us closely.

so moral of story? : walk close. with HIM. anytime, anywhere.

anyway, presented my case today. had a frantic journey to the hosp this morn due to rain and the unbelievably longggg taxi stand queue. hadnt had time to do script, hadnt had the time to rehearse, and hadnt had the time to even give some animation to my slides.

and was mentally rehearsing in my head how to answer some really possible questions fr the therapists. anyway, every fridays they had some in-service presentations to enhance learning atmosphere within the hospital.

was expecting the medical team to take their leave upon finishing their presentation at 8am today. facing the squad of at least 10 therapists was mental-gruelling enough.

and to my horror of horrors, the medical team stayed put. and today was horrendously lots of ppl. i just felt that my butt then weighed a million tons on the chair.

unwillingly i went up. somehow i was hoping for the laptop to not work. somehow, i was hoping it cant sense my thumbdrive. somehow, i was hoping for everything except for it to work especially.

nv felt similar performance anxiety for a v long time. was mentally stressful to have a view of a roomful of people whose experience adds up to hundreds of years tog.

it sounds ridiculus, but my knees felt weak. throat extremely dry.

i just had to pray. some tranquilisers. prayed for wisdom and coherence in my delivery of case.

took a deeeep breath...and started.

and am glad it went ok! praise Him! i felt an immediate sense of peace and perhaps, increase of conviction of my case as I presented.

and i went on and on and on for 15min, where is the time we offer ourselves to stand in the "firing squad", that is, questions fr floor of case presented.

and glad i pulled thru the experience! i think i learnt a lot from the time of presenting alone. i wouldnt have such courage without knowing He's with me. i felt like an ant telling elephants how to walk a long distance in one stride. you get what i mean?

but nevertheless, its not too bad being an ant. so as long u r a diligent ant. you will get there eventually. and if you are willing to ask, the elephants will give u a ride. :)

hahas. some mini personal reflections. dont worry if you dont get what i am trying to share from my heart. i think i am rambling already.

yay wendy! *pats on our backs* case presentation down! finally!

nights world. i am starting to appreciate the beauty of this clinical attachment. clinical's a terrifying thing, but its opening up my life to lives beyond my own, and i really feel a lot for this profession. i am starting to like geriatrics. its growing bit by bit within me. although sometimes i think i feel embarrased for myself hearing my own broken hokkien.
occupational therapy- towards meaningful living.