today, i had various 'conditions' of the heart again. and, indeed, it felt very real, and very intense.

it had its very ups, as well as moments where i almost felt my heart wrenching. this week had been a very emotional week. and i wonder why.

and i thank God, for being God, for being the One that i can seek after anytime, anywhere. i thank Him for His encouragement, assurance, and comfort.

today, a few verses spoke to me very much, when i was praying thru the day. many times, i was reminded that my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the STRENGTH of my heart, and my PORTION forever (Psa 73). and i know fully well, that obedience to His ways, and trusting Him and not myself, will always lead to blessings.

just like this morning. i really thank God for a divine meet-up. and this taught me that God really takes your prayers seriously. i recall praying for the Lord to give me another chance to talk to the 2 columbian girls which i have missed exchanging numbers few weeks back when we were on the same bus back from preston market. i remembered asking from God to add an extra dosage of desire and love in me to want to share lives with people that i meet with, and to go in His name with no fear, cos perfect love drives out fear. and i remembered talking to God that, when the opportunity comes to meet them again, help me to obey the Spirit's promptings.

and true enough, today, was the day. as i boarded the bus and settled down, there were 2 last passengers who boarded the bus before the bus sets off. and i saw someone waving at me. it was luz and caro, the 2 columbian girls! :) honestly, i was fearful, and really wanted to disobey the Spirit by just smiling and waving back, that's it. but i was reminded again and again, that this MUST be the divine appointment that i was asking God for, and i cant miss it!

i walked forward to where they were sitting and attempt to chat casually, which i must admit that i am not the best at this. but i thank God that Luz was responsive and shared that she is getting tired from her assignments and exams. God is amazing in the way He works, and i knew that He wanted me to attempt to the best of my abilities, to encourage this new friend that i have in her studies. and it was nice as she said to call her after her exams to catch up. obedience to the Spirit brings blessings.

many times, my weaknesses are revealed when i do something that i am uncomfortable with, but the beautiful thing about Christ is, that thru Him and in Him, all flaws are made beautiful and perfect when you obey Him, so that you may boast of your weaknesses, that it is only through Christ all things are possible.

besides this, personally, i know God is challenging me in some areas. and i know i cant do it by my own flesh, my own effort. although it is against my heart's wishes many times, i know, once again, trusting Him and not myself, will only lead to blessings, for myself, for others. wait on the Lord for the blessings to come. this, i truly believe. :)

God counts every tear shed. for His will. and in obedience to Him.

i can't help but re-read the notes on Prayers that i prepared for caregroup earlier this week. there are few keys to experiencing breakthroughs in prayer life. and one particular key that hit me today was about total surrender. Through the prophet Isaiah, God tells us; "But on this one will i look: on him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, and who trembles at My word. (66:2). just like when Jacob literally wrestled with God, i felt like i was wrestling with Him today too. many thoughts, many uncertainties, only He can understand. the time of communing with Him at the soccer field tonight was one that i truly treasured.

many are the plans in one's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that will prevail (prov 19:21). a man's steps are directed by the Lord, how then can anyone understand his own way? (prov 20:24). all a man's ways seem right to him, but the Lord weighs the heart (prov 21:2).

ah. only YOU know best.

:)