prayers and sleep really collects one's feelings and emotions.

somehow, i felt it, and even as i mentioned that gramps was 100 years old to suet that night out of the blue, i felt strange.

it was supposed to be her hundredth birthday celebration on my first week here.

and finally somehow, as i asked about her another time yesterday late night, the dead silence from sis for many milliseconds on MSN tells me that it's true. and the reply finally came. think sis just cant hide it anymore, and the feelings within me were confirmed. thankfully, i wasnt talking to anyone on msn anymore except suet.

i tried flashbacking to 2 weeks ago and subsquently. and thinking back, i am strucked by how my parents really contained their emotions and called me sounding so happy each time. no one told me the truth for MY sake. they thought of me even in their pain.

and that made me cried more.

all my life, even till now, i learnt about honouring parents from my dad. his life is a true example of loving your parents, and giving them beyond what you have.

just when i was saying i learn through people's lives. so apt. dad is one of them. he taught me how to love my close ones. and he taught me through his life what's love for a mother. he taught me how to be mature in my emotions as well. like how he has demonstrated to me through the calls.

just praying for healing in dad's heart. he loves grandma very, very, very much.