was reading hongteck's blog, where i came across a familiar photo, which i recalled seeing 10 over years ago. i remembered doing a simple show-and-tell on that newspaper article when i was in Primary 2 or 3.


it was the photograph that epitomized Sudan's famine. and Kevin Carter received the prestigious Pulitzer Prize for this shot.

so googled his name and read his story online, on how he went from fame, to suicide in 2 months. read his life story as well, and from the article, it wrote that Carter's suicide note went something like this, :

"The pain of life overrides the joy to the point that joy does not exist."

and yeah, maybe tlp was right. she said i was looking bothered as i went out of room to the kitchen to make some ginger tea before i carry on reading about Carter's life story. prolly cos this sentence that he wrote in his note just keeps on ringing in my head.

i am trying to imagine myself as Carter, to figure out, exactly how much "pain" he went through..that it hurts so much, that he chose death to escape the hurts of the world.

i can't really seem to understand why he held the pain so tightly. but of course, i knew his life must have been hurting so much, that he can't wait to let it go. losing best friend, failed relationships, witnessing multiple deaths and executions, saw the impact of famine. i bet he must be thinking where is God in all these happenings.

came to a point where i figured that, probably is really about hope in, trust in and probably even, obedience to the Lord. am not quite sure thou, but prolly the loss of hope, is the reason why Carter decided to end it there and then?

sleepy. shall sleep on it for now.

and it feels really nice to listen to chinese songs after so long. :))