had an uber long long day ytd.

until i tot i was going to raise white flag to fatigue.

but was truly refreshed by people and happenings.

and i learnt that u dont need a positive thing to make u grow and give thanks.

the true essence is always to give thanks in the toughest and lowest times.

will u still give thanks?

i hope i will, and i want to create within me such a heart that ll be forever grateful.

watched "remember the titans". it was awesome. awesome awesome.

beautiful game of amer football.

the coming week is literally going to be a battlefield for me.

exams every single day, full-fletched papers.

Lord, i desire to thrive, not survive.

thank you for sustaining and strengthening me each day.

off for dmm. ciaos. (:

just put down the phone. had a shower.

sometimes, you know things are not mere coincidences. God uses you in His most unique manner, the way He knows best. Beyond what we can conceive and fathom.

I know, they are safe in His hands. I shall just do my humanly possible; and let God do the humanly impossible.

Pouring your life to nourish others in Christ, every moment. On board? (:

I know, God will make a way in all situations and circumstances. Thou its hard to see the end of the tunnel sometimes, but He just need us to trust Him and travel with Him through the tunnel, cos ultimately, we already know that there will be light at the end, eventually.

Faith to move on despite the overwhelming unknown.

"God will make a way,
when there seems to be no way,
He works in ways
We cannot see
He will make a way for me...

He will be my guide
Draw me closely to His side
With Love and Strength
For each new day
He will make a way...
He will make a way..."

essentially went for half a day of 3D2N leadership camp. hahas. so that's one meal of dinner, and one finale game.

and honestly, i thought that's what i am going to be having only! as i had missed out a whole load of powerful teachings, response and worship!

but man, was i so wrong. (:

the night that followed and the next day of clearing up was a reflection and learning experience of what leadership means to me.

i recall feeling a little lost after the games, cos that marked the end of the leadership camp technically speaking, and hey, i barely warmed my feet there for like 3 hours. hahas.

nevertheless, it made me learn that it's all about how you create learning experiences out of the seemingly nothing.

thank God for weihong 'forgetting' to retrieve his so-called-rubbish mark and spencer's plastic bag filled with his valuables. hahas. and i went sticking my head out of chalet looking for him to return them. and glad this sparked off a time where we just stood outside together with evan for a long time talking about sowing; the suitable atmosphere to create, the questions that a seeker may ask et cetera et cetera. great time of learning just simply by standing at the steps of fairy point 4. hahas

o wells. and we decided to take a seat. liyan soon joined us. windez and andrew too. and the things that we talked about soon translated to vision, bringing family to know Christ and much more. was a time of learning and sharing.

spent good time with shareen as well. looked for her at her room and man, she was bathing at 4+ am. hahas. i can see her heartbeat and her conviction about certain issues. and we have concluded tog, that this brought about a deep meaning of 'leadership' to her. i pray that with these learnings, it will translate to her being a powerful leader for Christ. she can and she will.

the next day of clearing up led me to witness the good-spiritedness of people! i was exceptionally amazed by windez and shareen, at how they handled the whole check out 'saga' per se. hahas. faithfully and without complaints, they went down the hill and up the hill and down the hill to the office again, to put the admin issues in place, to bring home lots of lost and found, to ensure the place is spick and span to reduce the burden of the cleaning workers. and i m so thankful for people like them who willingly took on these roles and responsibility to ensure things are in place.

and that's what i truly deem as servant-leadership. to lead through service of people.

i am thankful for alvin as well, who faithfully drove everyone of us thru, helping thru the checkout process, carrying the items, sending them to respective places et cetera. i can't imagine the day without him! a task that can easily be taken for granted, but he portrayed willingness to help admist tiredness. thank God for u bro.

and shar was so cute, she actually went out to find a cleaning auntie and her son and had them come to the chalet after clearing up. and i was thinking why.

only to realise that she had packed the unfinished and unused items nicely- syrup, fruits, eggs, milk (and more which i can't remember) for the lady to collect, with the help of her son. and as i was making milo in the kitchen, all i could hear was the profuse thank-yous and gratefulness that the lady kept offering. and the son too. from a distance, i saw the sparkle of joy in their eyes. not exaggerating, but yes, thats how much they were deeply appreciative of the blessings.

and this malay lady actually asked where was shar from. shar chirpyly replied that we had just ended a church leadership camp that lasted for the past 2 days. and the malay lady thanked her profusely again before ending with a "you all are very nice people."

and once again, its a reflection of how blessed it is to give than receive, and especially to people beyond the church.

after all the procedures, had a hearty lunch with shar, alvin and windez at pasir ris mac before we started the journey to shar's hse and her sch to unload all the equipment.

though physically tired at the end of the day, the spirit of the people refreshed me. and i am very blessed by the joy in service by people and the fellowship. great time, great people of God, who led thru example.

this is one unique and unforgettable leadership camp that i have experienced. (:

mind in a whirlpool.

i know that there will always be sunshine after the rain.

yes, a rainbow that is.

His Promises never fails.

and i want to hold on to 'em.

His strength and grace shall abound. everyday and forever more.

thanks shuyi, jitsy and sihui for the really sweet tot of fizzy fish and animal biscuits to perk me up for revision! really v blessed by this act of love despite just knowing i hav exams like a while ago. wow.

and also shareen. thanks for ur prayers. it indeed work wonders in the o-so-stressed-up me.

looking forward to join em all at leadership training camp. (:

back to revision. (:

History Maker was..awesome. (:

more about that later. when pics are up. (: meanwhile, chanced upon this pic. (:

20 amino acid structures?!!? says:
her ministry and studies will glorify ur name.. I also pray for strength from U to fill her every new day as she wakes up from her bed.. i pray that she'll not rely on her own strength to do all these cos we are just so limited as humans, but as Ur children seek U and draw strength from You.. and in all these know that our work in the Lord will not be in vain and its the most worthy investment to make..

20 amino acid structures?!!? says:
Lord, i also want to pray for Joy in her life as she does her ministry, school work and anything that she sets her heart to do.. i pray for joy to be so abounding in her heart that it overflows to her ppl around her that indeed when ppl see, they will sing with us 'How Great is our God'..

20 amino acid structures?!!? says:
really wanna commit this sister into Ur hands, may You protect her and keep her under ur Wings daily, hourly, every minute and every second.. thank U, God for this sister's heart to serve and be excellent in ur name! Give U thanks in advance, Father.. In Jesus Name, Amen!!!

a prayer from a friend over msn.

the best gift you can give anyone, is a prayer.

thanks my friend.

When The Winds Are Strong

If your life is windy these days-
winds of change, winds of adversity,
or may the constant winds of demands and expectations
that leave you feeling, well...
windblown-take heart.
As my mother used to say,
"The roots grow deep when the winds are strong."

- Charles R. Swindoll

sil's party on sat! theme: Send in the cows! (:
pretty cows drawn!




















the birthday girl. (: 21st!!















sil with the ponkard fam. hahas. with the penguin dispenser, cow box, cow bookmark and the cow soft toys.














had a gd time. (:

trying to keep the post short. cos brain's beckoning me to rest.

choir tmr! excited. (: i always look forward to the pracs. v refreshing and strengthening time of praise and worship for all of us after a long day. ironic? yeah. the power of singing unto Him. (:

lots happened last week. helping out at zoo hunt was a terrific time with the kids!

and an amazing discovery found.

andrew is actually from church! he is in the kids ministry! yes! teacher andrew! the ot sup. i cant believe it, until i saw him on stage with my very own eyes!

was very heartened. (: bet he was shocked to see me as well.

and on fri, had a gd dinner w deb and we were blessed with some free gelato of this new opening of a gelato shop- Haato at serang gardens! wheeee!

and had a gd chat with a pri sch friend online whom i ve nv kept in contact for the past decade or so. hahas. recollections of pri sch times. (:

and i nv knew i had a weird habit of rolling my eyes whenever i am thinking when i was in pri school. i bet i didnt know. hahas.

i know its going to be a wonderful week ahead. 6 days countdown to church anniversary. amazing.

thanks for holding my world all this while, Jesus. thanks.

For Play and School module. on 22 Aug at a childcare centre with the Nursery 2 children! (:

circle time! the sing-a-long! Hello song!















elisa and clare teaching the kids the steps to making a great cookie!














eh...........hahahas. holding 2 M & Ms. hurhur














the chocos and rainbow rice! for the kids to deco their cookies!




















classic pic of elisa and the adorable!














the cute animals! for making the party hat. (:














making the hat with the kids! and me and ryan finished ours first, with pleased looks on our faces! a wonderful time with the young ones. (:

...sometimes, i think i need to do something non-cerebral.

to just space out and allow the scrunchy thing up in the head to rest for a while.

and make the red little fist like thingy on the left side of chest pump harder...

cause', life's definitely more than this.

attended Jason's convo ytd. w sharon, carrie, woeilong, yeuann and new faces like maureen and edwin. (: wenjiang,marcus and jan joined soon after. took pics at the fondly remembered spots of SIM where we prayed tog and had cg tog.

had a good good good time with regg ytd. hurhur. time tog eating subway; visiting cathay's ben n jerry's and walking down city hall, find butts in ACTS. bumped into karr, utan n cindy in ACTS! hahas.

i love times like this. and this is what i deem as non-cerebral but much-cardio activity. (:

The birthday season's in the air.
picture speaks a thousand words. here goes..

xin yi's 21st- 09 August @ her place.
the otties!















i love the little ones in her household! super uber full of energy!












like this one on the swiiinnnggg!!













particularly love the girl and the little boy in front of xin yi. super high energy!














the key! (:













and now, rui's 21st. @ MOS 25Aug2006.



the encouraging otties of class that turned up!












and not forgetting i pulled utan along too! (;

..and posed for ceyu's cam. hahas.

xinyi, ceyu, ming. and ming was saying how jon kept reminding her to keep the wedding ring on! (:














and the birthday girl- lee rui rui. (: high in spirts. literally. hahas.





































and a class group shot. with jean in it. (:













third one! was cai ma ma's birthday on 30th Aug!

happy birthday cai ma ma! (:

and age was a secret... so a candle should suffice. (:

presenting cai ma ma.. (: with her birthday cakeee and purple tulip.

and the way she made her wish was quite cute la. hahas.

and thou' i seldom verbalise it.

i love u loads, mum. happy birthday.

i need a rest.

to rest and move on.

I will lie down and sleep in peace,for you alone, O LORD,make me dwell in safety.-Psalm 4:8

now back for a third time. and the final one before i really pop my head to sleep. but i think i am pretty hyped up.

maybe is the country radio on pandora now that i have just changed to.

or i am feeling a little high trying to start working out the months ahead.

don't ask me why. but i m pretty excited abt year 2007.

yeah i know. 2006 is still in the running. hahas.

but as i zoom thru the future months, i know there will be a lot of decision making to come.

and trust me, i hate decision making. peel me off bit by bit, i am not born a decision maker.

but often times, i realised the importance of decision making, and not just that, accurate and non-biased decision making.

i nv really played with the idea of going away to study for quite some time. and now as i m in my final yr here, this idea seems to be calling me back.

i welcome that idea. and i am giving this idea more attention now.

and i know how much repurcussions it will bring if i really turn this idea to reality. good and bad ones.

its not just about me alone; there are many people, many areas, many things which i have to pass thru my brain, heart and mind for "clearance".

one thing for sure, it affects the way i go in terms of my ministry. and one thing for sure, i must know that my folks are ready for it.

and got to chat with mum about it that night. and sounded pretty supportive.

but of course, as sis advised, i better then demonstrate in actions besides speech that i am serious about each and every of my decisions, and that i know what i am doing.

i better start earning my keeps. which my sis and i all know, is not sufficient if i start now anyway. hahas.

but i fully agree with sis. and seldom i do. hahahas!

that its often the thought and action that counts, to my folks at least. the physical action of demonstrating that you are doing something about it is enough. the product (i.e the amount of money earned) doesnt matter.

i know whatever the outcome may be, He wants the best for me, my family, my friends, and my fellow servants in Christ.

and to where i may be fully used by Him.

we'll see where i may go.

imagine with me, what i may be doing in where i may be in one year's time. (:

time to dream. nights world. (;

i totally adore this website that sis has recommended me.

pandora.com.

i m so thankful for having the free flow of songs that accompany me thru the night as i do my work.

so random, so shuffled. and they play your preferred genre of songs without playing the songs of the artiste that you typed in.

i love the corrs. and the genre that pandora found for me was extremely pleasing to the ears. (:

like wow. hahas.

and made me revisit a few songs that i used to listen so much to, but lost touch of em.

listening to A New Day has Come-Celine Dion.

and best part? there's praise and worship too. (:

and i have since concluded: i love pandora, cos i never know what's next.

cheap thrill? maybe. hahas. but i love random.

like now. random entry. k back to work. sensory integrative approach.....

just did up a short write up for a YouthDNA mini proj.

coolios. something is coming. yeah. expect and anticipate! (:

and guess what, its 3.35am. and i am so fully wide awake.

know why? cos the very brainless mx went off to snooze the moment i step into the house at 6.35pm in the evening cos i was almost dying of fatigue.

and the very same brainless mx DID NOT set an alarm due to, malfunctioning of the brain and inability to plan?

and so, result?

woke up at a wonderful time of 11.15pm.

claps.

this is really not good. my body shouldnt be taking the responsibility of these poor timing.

so understand why i m still up?

k. off to do my play+school research. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

really. its a mixed feeling abt school work. grrr.

once again, a week's over. a brand new one starting within hours.

time flies. before my very eyes.

and its a week to my break week. i dont know if its break week, or our break-down week. hahas. much work. fast time.

but nevertheless, i think i m embracing it, and trying to see them thru His eyes. (:

if i m put thru it, i know i can pull thru it. i trust Him to hold the world for me.

of cos, i am forever thankful for the many events that happen in each and every day of my life! good or bad, i know they happen for a reason and purpose, always. (;

mon- had choir prac instead of usual tues. i always look forward to 'em. cos worship always refreshes me. and made a new friend, Haah (i dont know how to spell! but it's pronounce as 'Hi' hahas. ) i love her presence. she's a vietnamese in adults ministry. She got this super duper smiley face that warms me each time i see her. looking tough on the outside but gentle in spirit, and in voice too. (:

tues- met hannah! refreshed time of sharing and learning.

wed- yuhan n me @ essentialbrews. the plc was really packed. a bit of disappointment actually as i wanted a quiet and nice chill-out place for us. hahas. but though it was really busy, its the company that matters. (:

somethings also occurred to shaun. n i m really thankful for shareen's big heart for her bro. and also, i m reallly thankful to our Daddy for watching over him, always.

thurs- cg. had the cg to do an activity! hahas. o wells. think they nearly tore one another's hair out.

fri- stay-over at shera's hall w utan! woohoo! had prataaa, late night walks, and some nice chats at night. thanks shera. my bud for life. thanks utan. let's live it out tog. (:

sat- it marks the 13th consecutive day that my group has met for FYP. hahahahas. as much as i dread hearing "FYP" now, i am learning how to embrace this thingyy which i know i can never run away from. like what HB said, one's perserverance can be determined by how u pull thru ur research project, cos its a long and ardous journey.

ps jeff's sermon was apt as well. his sharing always speaks to the heart.

and today. was planning to return home str aft DMM. upon reaching tpy central, i just felt like taking the other direction instead. and walked to tpy stadium- a plc i hav not really stepped into for really long.

and i m so glad i took this move. walked up to the highest step and found a nice comfortable spot and just sat there.

i cant help but am really appreciative of the time there! (: i felt as though i was having a field trip out with Him.

i saw a particular family having fun tog. a mum was playing poison ball with her 2 young daughters. and all the laughter and chuckles made me laughed too.

and the 2 little sisters competed with each other and climbed all the way up to where i was sitting. and i can't help but gave em 2 a broad broad grin. arhhhh. really a child-like grin. (:

and i saw 2 old men jogging. and jogging. and jogging. non-stop. my, their stamina. their endurance. their sweat-it-out spirit.

i love the stadium in the evening. what a wonderful spot to just sit, feel the breeze, plug in worhship, read a good book, look at others, and journal ur thoughts.

away from the "to-do-list".

was reading tuesdays with morrie. ironically, my first time reading it. i have been seeing it on the bestseller's list for the past few yrs, but i nv read it.

and now, thanks to xinyi, i have had this opportunity to read it. (:

and it spoke to me, about my life, about my loved ones, about people around me, about my walk with Him.

"...sometimes, you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people to trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too-even when you're in the dark. even when you are falling..."- tuesdays with morrie.

i can't help but gave thanks for those who believed in me. who love me. even in times when i am in the dark, even when i fell, and not just the bright and sunny times. and not just the times when i stood well and healthy.

thanks for giving me such Christ-like love and belief. you guys made a difference in my life. (:

and i fully agree with morrie, that when people place their trust in you, you can feel it. you feel it in your fingers. you feel it in your toes. you feel it in your heart.

or rather, you know it as well. (: i want to be like that.

and shaun's affirmation confirmed that being someone who believes in others is the right thing to do. (: and i will continue to work on that.

sincerity moves. speaking from the bottom of the heart moves. and of course, listening to Him and speaking from the Word moves even more.

shaun shared about luke 6:41. and am comforted after hearing what God spoke to him about this verse.

it made me reflect about certain areas in my life as well.

once u judge someone, u cant possibly love that someone. no way. that's no love.

it really dawned upon me, and made sense to me of the verse in Corinthians, that love is patient and is kind..

does not envy, does not boast and it is not at all proud.

never rude, never self-seeking.

not easily angered, and importantly, keeps no record of wrongs

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres.

sometimes, all you need in life, is just having Him by your side, showering you His Perfect Love.

it's all about Love.

and like what morrie wrote about himself and his best friend Maurie Stein. now Stein was going deaf. and soon Morrie is going to lose his speech to his illness. with one unable to hear, another unable to speak, what would that be like?

"We will hold hands,"Morrie said. "And there'll be a lot of love passing between us..you don't need speech or hearing to feel that."

Jesus, hold my hand.

okiee dokies. NYP4! Finally...the Long Awaited MOMENT...[as u all try to prove the cacto-phobia girl wrong...hahahahhas!] *drumrolls*

1. Water
2. Large Sheet of Polythene
3.A selection of spare clothing
4. Salt Tablets
5. Chocolate
6. Air Maps
7. Small mirror
8. Knife
9. 1st Aid Kit
10. Loaded pistol
11. Cigarette lighter
12. Newspaper
13. Compass
and....
14. TORCH WITH BATTERIES.

sorry hannah. I CAN'T HELP IT BUT TO BOLD IT!! hahahahhaha!

for those who dunno what's happening, more updates later. (:

was really hungry. so cooked a bowl of noodles. at this hr.

was casually talking to jiahui on train today, and we really concluded how fast time ticks. its august already.

in a blink of an eye, i m already in my final yr in occ therapy over at nyp. everything seems just like yesterday.

i can even remember what i wore on first day of school lo.

so many things that i want to jot down here, yet, at the same time, i feel the raunching of the brain without any logical sentences forming within. (:

met up the fyp peeps today! and quoting xy: meeting one another for SEVEN DAYS a week is disgusting la! hahahhas!

but so glad that we finished before time today! (:

and derek flew back to US today. and that really confirmed how fast time flies. am touched by his testimony of how he grew on in the group over at LA.

and had a gd time reading ps jeff's blog.

i dont know where i will go.

but, i know He will be with me wherever He puts me to go.

a pic when derek first left for US. byee bro.


and heres where junting and sharon left for aust last yr. and AGAIN, i have to reiterate how fast time flies...and now... WELCOME BACK! (:
welcome home sharon!

and juntinggg. (:

ruuui's blog makes me feeel all ready for national day. (:

i really lovee the song that's playing on her bloggg. v heartwarming.

why why why. why has time diluted the "heartwarmingness" of the representating songs over the years..

i think its the simple lyrics like that, that makes u all so fuzzy and puts a smile on ur face la. (:

"you make me feel, warm and safe,
to give me hope for brighter day.....

its the little things, that we share,
the love and joy that's in the air,
the children's laughter everywhere,
and all our favourite things...."

(:

the past week had been a time where i start to think abt many things. things and people ard me, my own spiritual walk, vision..and more on.

was sharing to hannah about some of my thoughts. many times, i may walk thru the whole week, not realising some events were really interesting, some events were really learning sessions, some not-so-good events, some wow-its-great events, and some i-really-want-to-thank-you-so-much-God events...

and sometimes, due to the hurried lifestyle, i just walk thru them, and only come to realise the meaning in each and every of the event on Saturday mornings, where i often have time to sit down, eat my brek, and just put aside those daunting deadlines for a while and spend some time with "myself". hahas.

of course, there are times of regrets. and what alan tea shared today was really apt. don't you wish you could turn back the clock, sometimes?

i do.

but at the same time, i know the clock will be left better to move forward. and it really made me feel so loved by Him to know that He wipes away my past.

wiping yesterday, wiping today, wiping tmr in process.

not an excuse to do wrong. but an opportunity to start with a redeemed spirit.

i like the analogy goes. no matter how hard we try to delete information from hard-disks, fragments of it are always possible to be traced back.

but God is generous, He doesnt delete. He gives you a new hard-drive.

i showed hannah this kok kok scrapbook that i bought at popular for 55cents. it contains my random scribblings of whatever is in my brain, anytime, anywhere.

i really don't want to forget thoughts that ran thru my mind before. gd ones, bad ones. whichever one. so as long there's a learning principle behind each in my spiritual walk. i want to catch them before they fly away.

one entry was written on the bus. and handwriting was horrendously horrendous. hahas.

nevertheless, its the thoughts that matters, not the beauty of it. that explains why i bought the 55cent book too.

i hope i can update that kok kok book for long. i m pretty determined.

unusually, in the midst of the hurried lifestyle that i have for the past week, i feel that He is really close.

and i really treasure these times where i am totally immersed in His strength, cos i m so sure its not my own.

i have been thinking about my next yr. so much..so much.

its about time to plan out my journey on.

God, come in. Show me.

wherever and whatever and however it is, i just want to remember:

i will go to where Your voice is,

"and no matter where i'll be, it warms my heart,
to know that You are always here,
for me.."

its the birthday season in the airrrrr!

in a short span of 2 days, invitations were given for 3 parties in this month of august! all 21st. hahahhas. wellwell.

shareen's bro is having his this sat. haha was so comical. shareen called, shaun spoke and said he is the representative for speaking, to invite me for sebestian's birthday. is like whole family business for sebes's 21st! cool that the whole family is involved! (: and sebes has promised to come to church after his taiwan training stint. greaaaaaaaaat!

and glad to hear that shaun's getting fine in youth as well. (: and of cos, shar too!

totally enjoyed the hike with her last sun. though some hiccups here and there, but was a beautiful walk from mc ritchie to bt timah.

past week was a lil crazy. i dun rem quality sleep. nonetheless, i really feel that i always have energy to move on in the day! thank GOD that He sustains me. I can do all things thru Him who gives me strength.

was reading some article and came by this quote. i thought it was really beautiful. here it:

"The trouble with nearly everybody who prays is that he says 'Amen' and runs away before God has a chance to reply. Listening to God is far more important than giving Him your ideas." :- Frank Laubach, Christina Evangelical Missionary (1884-1970)

and yes thanks utan for the really refreshing chat that night! let's move towards to the ending point tog!