Saturday, June 24, 2006

had a long week.

nevertheless, i am really thankful to Him for really being beside me all the time.

many times He stood by me, but i took Him for granted and ranted in my heart how tiring and draining the working life can be. i was not looking forward to working. no no no.

the "real" world. often, people portray a bleak and self-centred image of the world.

its the survivor instinct. the "you-just-need-to-do-what-you-are-supposed-to-do-and-get-off-immediately". no more than that.

just like examinations, we often agree that practicals are rather scary, and theory allows u to be more prepared with what's going to come.

similarly, even though we often have the head knowledge to be in the world and not of the world, to apply in practical? we really need Him to guide us and hold us closely.

so moral of story? : walk close. with HIM. anytime, anywhere.

anyway, presented my case today. had a frantic journey to the hosp this morn due to rain and the unbelievably longggg taxi stand queue. hadnt had time to do script, hadnt had the time to rehearse, and hadnt had the time to even give some animation to my slides.

and was mentally rehearsing in my head how to answer some really possible questions fr the therapists. anyway, every fridays they had some in-service presentations to enhance learning atmosphere within the hospital.

was expecting the medical team to take their leave upon finishing their presentation at 8am today. facing the squad of at least 10 therapists was mental-gruelling enough.

and to my horror of horrors, the medical team stayed put. and today was horrendously lots of ppl. i just felt that my butt then weighed a million tons on the chair.

unwillingly i went up. somehow i was hoping for the laptop to not work. somehow, i was hoping it cant sense my thumbdrive. somehow, i was hoping for everything except for it to work especially.

nv felt similar performance anxiety for a v long time. was mentally stressful to have a view of a roomful of people whose experience adds up to hundreds of years tog.

it sounds ridiculus, but my knees felt weak. throat extremely dry.

i just had to pray. some tranquilisers. prayed for wisdom and coherence in my delivery of case.

took a deeeep breath...and started.

and am glad it went ok! praise Him! i felt an immediate sense of peace and perhaps, increase of conviction of my case as I presented.

and i went on and on and on for 15min, where is the time we offer ourselves to stand in the "firing squad", that is, questions fr floor of case presented.

and glad i pulled thru the experience! i think i learnt a lot from the time of presenting alone. i wouldnt have such courage without knowing He's with me. i felt like an ant telling elephants how to walk a long distance in one stride. you get what i mean?

but nevertheless, its not too bad being an ant. so as long u r a diligent ant. you will get there eventually. and if you are willing to ask, the elephants will give u a ride. :)

hahas. some mini personal reflections. dont worry if you dont get what i am trying to share from my heart. i think i am rambling already.

yay wendy! *pats on our backs* case presentation down! finally!

nights world. i am starting to appreciate the beauty of this clinical attachment. clinical's a terrifying thing, but its opening up my life to lives beyond my own, and i really feel a lot for this profession. i am starting to like geriatrics. its growing bit by bit within me. although sometimes i think i feel embarrased for myself hearing my own broken hokkien.
occupational therapy- towards meaningful living.

Friday, June 16, 2006

taggged by ah ruuui. to do the survey. :)

Instructions: Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head.

1. sis
2. carrie
3. hannah
4. deborah
5. yuhann
6. jeannn
7. shera
8. ziwei
9. regggie
10. ah rui
11. ceyu
12. mingg
13. huimei
14. liyan
15. my pa
16. my ma.
17. shuyi
18. shareeen
19. xuan
20. enghow

Questions:1. How did you meet number 14?
liyannnn! how how how. hahahs. first met her at the touch community theatre for the church student conference. :)

2. What would you do if you had never met Number 1?
prolly i ll have a more peaceful lifeeee. HA. i am just joking alrights. i love her. in good times in bad times. in sickness and in health (coughs violently)

3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
ah how and ah gieee?!? I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE! hahahhas! will be interested to see how it goes! both God-lovers! hahahas.

4. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
eh. flat no? shuyi and jean?

5. Describe No. 3.
you guys know her isnt it. fun-loving and bubbly sheeepie. she can turn black skies to bluee. :) adore kids and kids adore her.

6. Do you think No.8 is attractive?
look at her! tt's like duhh. hahahhas. great looks great personality, most imptly, great bud. :)

7. Tell me something about No.7
wheeeeee. my dear. jc friend cum bud in church. the girl who brought me to know Him.

8. Do you know anything about no.12's family?
she has a loving husbanddd, and a lovely son timmy!

9. What is no. 18's favorite? God! :) ahhahas. she loves outdoors adventure.

10.What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you? ceyu, pls answer this qn.

11. What language does 15 speak? chinese. teochew. hokkien. malay.

12. Who is 9 going out with? (evil laughter..)

13. How old is 16 now? forever 18... she hopes. 52. :)

14. When was the last time u talked to 13? last weeek.

15. Who's 2's favorite singer? it used to be vic fr f4 if i m not wrong. but she has broken the idolatry already. ahahha!!

16. Would you date number 4? eeeeeeewwwwwww. DEB!

17. Would you date 7? she's my fren. we often date. :)

18. Is 15 single? my pa. what do u think?? :)

19. What's 10's last name? lee foundation like she always say and quote.

20. Would you ever consider being in a relationship with 19? my jie-mei already.

21. What school does 3 go to? missy to be. in nyp. :)

22. Where does 6 live? houganggggg.

23. What's your favorite thing about number 5? a girl with a big heart for others. OTHERS ABOVE SELF.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Dedicated to mx

Dedicated to a goot fren, gr8 sis n lovely pherd>>
Yoooooo MX shepherd. Thx for evrythn today!!!!!! been a long long time since i enjoyed myself so so much. Really. utanLOVESyou :)) -jEan
jean the monkey is watching world cup now at my living room.

and eating honey stars.

and eating honey stars.

and eating honey stars...

and eating more honey stars.....

Thursday, June 08, 2006

just a short one.

the past 4 days at clinicals. hmm. i dont know what will be a suitable word to describe it.

but in general, somehow i think it did in one way or another, help me to look forward to finding out more abt working in hospital.

i must admit it is the first clinical placement that keeps me on my toes the entire day.

but certainly i think it will, and i am really certain i can learn loads fr this placement from many people.

like fr my sup. i personally find her an interesting figure. she obviously work hard (verrryyy hard) and plays hard as well. i admire her flexibility, and great sense of responsibility. but of cos, discussing plans with her each day makes my heart beats irregularly. don't try to smoke her. u r asking for it.

another person..

i love dr jung! she's really dynamic. solid woman, yet amicable. she v cute when she smiles. :) her ability to present the infor very relevantly to diff healthcare team members during the round-table session on amputee rehab was something we can learn from.

and i must also say the nurses in the ward are very nice as well. v easy to talk to and to find out about the patient's updates.

hmmm. prayin hard that i will grow to embrace this clinicals. :)

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Love Me
By Collin Raye

I read a note my Grandma wrote
Back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat
And he showed it once to me

He said
Boy you might not understand, but a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none
But I loved your Grandma so

We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter
And this is what it said:

Chorus:
If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

I read those words just hours before
my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church
Where me and Grandpa stopped to pray

I know I've never seen him cry
In all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

Chorus:
If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me

And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love me


this song never fails to touch me whenever it comes to my ears. i rem the first time i heard it, it brought some water to my eyes. sometimes i try to picture the grandpa singing it. it really touches me. its like a really sincere song. of the true love they have for each other. :)

and it often brings me to think about God's unfailing love for me, and everyone. i can never seem to understand the extent to which He loves me. and many times, i pray for Him to teach me how to love others through His eyes.

and its true, the love and burden for others deepens when i continually rem them in my prayers. love till it hurts. that's love.

John 3:16. that's love.
its a very stressful thought to think that clinicals will be here in less than 30 hrs time.

its gruelling. i am really nervous about this time round.

my first time posted to hospital. neuro dept. acute cases.

i really don't think i am cut out to work so fast-paced. i am a pretty s--l--o--w paced person.

but whatever it is, face it, prepare my heart, take a deep breath. go for it. am praying for a great learning experience.

time to refresh the stroke stuff, mobility..and what dr param has taught us all. apparently i totally threw them out of my brain long time ago.

scary la! i really scared of clinicals when the sup start to ask ur rationale of ur treatment plan, the patient's progress and all the short term long term goals and everything...

talking about that, i haven done my learning contract! grrr.

i knoe i am waging a war soon. fighting with time, battling with physical tiredness, handling stressors.

and i know, i can proclaim bring it on, when i dwell in Him and walk close enough to Him to experience strength and empowerment for each day.

i will survive. for the next 6 weeks. i know i can do all things thru Him who strengthens me.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

friendships

specially dedicated to my growing up buds: the "growing up" in this spiritual family was, is, and will always be memorable. :)

we are still "growing up"!

xuan's choir concert today.

i love the song v much. "Go the distance" by alan menken. i don't know why, not as thou its the first time hearing. but i was very touched by the song. v moved.

and today made me recall, how blessed i am to have all of you as my spiritual brothers and sisters. and those who are not in the pic.

really treasure yawl. really. :)

the poem's not so clear when enlarged. heres it. :)

Author Unknown
God must have know there would be times we'd need a word of cheer,
Someone to praise a triumph or brush away a tear.
He must have known we'd need to share the joy of "little things"
In order to appreciate the happiness life brings.
I think He knew our troubled hearts would sometimes throb with pain,
At trials and misfortunes, or goals we can't attain.
He knew we'd need the comfort of an understanding heart
To give us strength and courage to make a fresh, new start.
He knew we'd need companionship, unselfish....lasting....true,
And so God answered the heart's great need with
Cherished Friends....like you.




"9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12